When good tidings come from the least expected places

I was once a very active member of these activist groups and organizations. The NGO world operates on donor money and conferences. I was unlucky in that most of the NGO’s I associated with would be run by crooks (often dim eyed fellows like myself) who often conned me. Conned me in the sense they would ask me to use my money to mobilize students and then fail to reimburse me. At that time Ksh. 1000 for a student was a lot of money. I would have my revenge when we had seminars in good hotels and I would use my boys to create a fuss and extort money from the organizer. You see there is usually money to reimburse participants for transport and maybe some little per diem. Students who reside in hostels near the CBD can walk to and fro the seminar.

This made some bright organizers very rich since most students would be content with snacks and T-shirts plus the feeling of engaging in intellectual discourse with fellows such as Macharia Gaitho,Suba Churchil,Omtata,Nowrjee amongst others.
We would demand transport and accomodation reimbursments for 20 guys then i would share the bulk of the loot amongst 5 ringleaders and the others 15 were none the wiser because only the top 5 knew the plan.

So it came as a blessing when i was selected to attend a seminar for emerging leaders in Africa. It was to be held in Jinja,Uganda. More interestingly we were to fly to entebbe and then go by bus to Jinja. Most surprisingly the person who proposed my name was a humble shiny eye guy. At times ukabila ni ujinga,huyu jamaa alinisaidia sana.

Luckily i had a passport and on the appointed day i boarded KQ to Entebbe. I was told the plane was called an Embraer. We landed in Entebbe in less than an hour and were picked by bus. Some of those who picked is were the Ugandan employees of the organizers of the conference and some of fellow participants from Uganda.

I sat with a lady who was a Muganda and soon enough i was askng about ugandan sex styles. She was surprisingly very open and told me how Baganda women are good and that unlike other tribes you feell them during the act. I remember i started getting a hard on and we were somewhere in Mabira Forest dtlriving towards Jinja. We then chatted about a few other normal stories with the Baganda chic as i saw a potential lay.

We got to Jinja at around four. The hotel was slightly outside Jinja near the Owen falls and the new Bujaggali dam.We checked into the hotel and were assigned rooms which we had to share. Two people of the same gender per room. My roommate was a Zanzibari. Next room to me there was a ugandan from Acholi who stayed alone and on the other sidw was a Luo who stayed with a Mijikenda from Rabai.

After supper i went to sleep since i was broke and tired. During the next day the seminar started as usual with introduction.we then had speakers speaking to us until 4. There was a tea and lunch break in between.

We were around 27 participants from Kenya,Uganda and Tanzania. In the evening i tried pursuing my Baganda chick but she was evasive. Kumbe the Luo fellow had captured her after he gave her one of his smartphones to use. By the next day it was an open secret he had screwed her. I felt so bad and deflated.

I also came to learn my colleagues were having luck with the ladies while all the ones i tried to hit on would backfire. I therefore adopted a low profile as i pondered my misfortunes. I had been told how ugandan women are easy and sweet and it seemed i would go back home without tasting.

My luck came when a Ugandan friend was going to Jinja town and asked me to accompany him. I think he pitied me because i would spend the evenings outsise my room on the verandah politicking with my neighbours the Rabai and a certain guy from Kisii.

Jinja was relatively clean but most buildings were the old indian style buildings you see in all our towns. Most were less tha 3 stories high. We went to a pub and i ordered soda as my colleagues took several alcoholic drinks.

I noticed a large number of yellow yellows and asked my friend about it. He explained that Jinja was previously an Industrial town and was dominated by Pakistanis,Indians and arabs. These races then intermingled with the local Basoga to produce what they called chotara and we call Point 5. An exanple of these chotaras is Zari Hasaan ule wa Diamond. He then went further to tell me that even in shambas you would find them tilling.

I stood up and told them i wanted to take a walk i would be back. I then went around the block taking in the sights and looking for a yellow yellow. I soon found a lady who was very well endowed and after chatting kidogo we went back to the bar where my colleagues were. We sat down and talked about many things as she had a local beer. She asked to leave early as she lived with her mum and we released her after exchanging contacts.

The next day i used a ugandan line to call her and she agreed to come and see me at 4PM at the hotel. As agreed she came by boda boda at around 430 and we headed to the my room. After a little small talk we made out and she gave me the goodies. I must say she was very good in bed and dryspell had nearly killed me. The warm and humid weather by the nile also helped.

I later escorted her at around 7pm and then went for supper a happy man. We made it a habit to meet up every evening at 4pm. She even took me for a wedding in a church in a place called Kayunga one weekend. She was warm and caring hadi i was surprised. I can say that for the final week of my 2 week stay i lived well and she was not high maintenance.

As a postscript the Buganda chic that was snatched from me by an Omera was also snatched from him by Musoga lawyer who was a conference attendee. Kumbe they were all sharing with the conference coordinator who was an Itesot from Uganda. Kunguru hafugiki.

I would later meet a few of the other ladies when i toured UG in later years.Very good and warm people who would drive me to Gayaza road to eat goat meat before i ate their bearded meat at a hotel along the Ntinda-Kiwatule road.

Amakweli hata maji chafu huzima moto ya uchu.

You give alot of praise to Ug ladies but end up marrying your own!

Moral of the story haimake sense kwa sisi wenye tusomes St Andrew’s Turi in dreams

Narration safi

Kama kitu ulikula ilikuwa swafiiii, mbona unaongelea maji chafu?

mbona wamuita maji machafu and she was a well endowed yellow yellow?

Yaani zile za conference ndiyo nilitarajia itazima moto. Huyu alikuwa sijatarajia lakini akawa dame mzuri sana.

Ama niseme umdhaniaye ndiye siye. Main issue is that i expected conference attendees ndio wanisaidie lakini kastudent random nilinasa jijini ndio akaja kuniokoa.

Noted. In UG my goal is always the Kienyejis, hizi GMO zimejaa Nairobi. seems you nailed a proper kienyeji

Yaani pia niongeze the conference ladies really made me feel small. There is one short lady from western Uganda who would shout my name as i tried to borrow. She would later be eaten by a TZ guy very easily.

I think i was also not bold enough and a bit naive about how their dating game goes.

:D:D:D:D:D hiyo conference inakaa watu walikua on their toes mbaya. Yaani within a few hours jamaa alikunyanganya dame na kumpa smart phone. It must have been a sex-fest

Halafu i came to realise that when you drink alcohol it helps. The lady can’t drink your alcohol and then refuse and some guys would buy alcohol and go and drink from their verandahs outside their rooms. Ukimaliza unagonga mzigo.

from your hekaya you took a soda in a club. are you a teetotaler ?

Yes. And i am sure you noted the soda is cheaper. I was not a well off student na per diem ya conference was not very much.

sawa. girls will generally get jittery and raise their guard if she is taking beer and you are taking a soda or water. Its natural.

Just as it happened, and narrated bila chumvi ya kuongezea!
Nice hekaya.


Masood I used to bang one at William Street kampala and she used to cater for my bills and hers, was turnboy by then. …If Mganda Loves you,one thing am sure is you have to fyuk her

during my dark past, you showed me the light ;):wink: