Nairobi Thug Life

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Kweli Kenya kumeharibika.

Sounds like story of giants, lakini haisuru. Anything is possible.

Wah, Nairobbery

Sio repost ama nilisema kwa vip?

Apana Naaah. Si story. This sounds like the Kenya I know. Conmen and women everywhere, educated, well heeled or not.

Hii Nairobi enyewe sio ya mama ya mtu. Pahali tumefika you just have to harden your heart.
I was once approached by a young lady with a kid strapped on her back akiwa amebeba ma luggage pale Thika on a Sunday kitu 4:00 pm looking quite decent. Oooh siju tume toka sijui wapi shags sijui tunarudi home kitengela bla bla bla… Sijui amelala kwa gari akapata hana kibeti wala phone bla bla bla … She looked genuinely scared and lost. Nika cheka kwa moyo zile yaani 100% I am being conned. But kuna vile the kid issue bothered me. Nikaona in any case I am going to burn money pale bar . Therefore there are two outcomes one nisaidie or two niconiwe
I gave her 400 Bob and walked away.

:D:D this has happened to me in Kisumu. Dude borrowed 100 bob from me saying he had come to the city for some money but was unsuccesful. He spoke in fluent English but was a little bit dirty. Since it was around 5 and the skies were heavily pregnant with rain I gave him 200 bob. The following day I met him around the same spot. He was still borrowing money but this time he had a different story. Nikajua nimepatikana.

Kuna ile ya zamani kadame kafyne kiasi kanakuomba simu apigie mama yake then anakushow haishikwi on the other end anaishia zake,later on,mbogi inakam ikishout “ndio huyu”,fyne ghel in tow akisema umemuibia phone,unajitetea yako yote,kadame kanaomba random stranger apige “simu yake”,guess which one rings? Yeah,ile time alikuomba phone,alijipigia.So,nairobi being as it is,teambuilding kwanza then questions later once umegotwa ukaturn chinese ,macho haioni, dame amelost…but hio ilikua kabla tracking

Leonard Kimweli ubarikiwe

Saw another one amejiangusha hapo ICEA this evening.

atleast the victims who are still in the dark went home feeling like heros , giving brings people true happiness , msiwaambie tadhafali …

Mimi niliconiwa Thika. A dude comes and gives a bull and cock story how he’s a businessman from TZ amekuja kwa msee fulani lakini namba haiendi thro. So he needs fare to kitengela. I knew he was conning me but nikasema you never know. I gave him 200/=.

Summary Ni muhimu

Here in Nairobi I don’t part with cash.

Leo nikiwa hapo bomb blast mzae fulani amenitokea akaniambia ati ametoka hosi kuona mtu wao na ameibiwa wallet yake while in the matatu. Home kwake ni Matuu or Masii in Cachakos mounty. Akalia nimpatie fare. I gave him mbao mbili nikamwambia atafute hizo zingine. I don’t know if I got took. Only God knows

Mimi ni mkamba original I don’t part with my cash to strangers. Hio mimi siezani. I can only help an elderly or maybe a crippled, the ones you can see clearly are sick like amevimba mguu and sort.

Like the blind guy I gave 20 bob and later that evening found in Saint Joseph’s buying ‘students’ a drink?

I felt violated to be honest.

Personally I don’t even stop to listen to cock and bull stories.Nakulenga ni kama sijaskia any!

These games are not only in Kinya. The other day nshatoka kwa Abdul napark my blue subaru, a white toyora cororra pulls up next to me and the kigonyi rolls down his window.

On the passenger seat is a female most prolly the wife clad in buibui, carrying a small kid on her laps, anakaa msupa sio siri though amejifunga everywhere save for the eyes (ki ninja style). He does the normal “salaam alleikum” to which I respond “salaaam”. So the bearded Muhammad goes on to tell me how he’s just drove into dowah from Oman but unfortunately he forgot his wallet back home. Now he doesn’t have no money on him and the fuel tank is almost empty. He’s not had anything to eat same for the family and not sure where he will lay his head at the end of the day, though he had been assured of some funds from the brother back home the following day.

I debated with my conscience and decided to help half heartedly. Nkachomoa walenje na kumpatia 50 riyal just for his effort. Only after he had driven off ndo nkajua nimechezwo. Red flags zilikuwa kibao kwa hio hekaya yake … 1st registration plate ni ya qatar, not a big deal. Crossborder movement is allowed. Secondly the only way to drive into qatar from any other gulf country is through the Saudi border, which is currently locked due to the ongoing blockade. So how the fcuk did he do this?