My sex-capades:Of Dildos,sexshops and a Mature woman

A previous posting today reminded me of this.
I was 25 and in my first job straight out of Uni. I was working with this older Kenyan woman in a mental health hospital and being the only 2 Kenyans in the whole place and with a matching timetable we quickly got friendly and would spend our breaks and any free time together.
This woman was at least 15 years older than me (going by her stories) and had her own Recruitment Agency but was working in the hospital as a side hustle and in her bid to get more contracts.
Anyway, over time she started opening up about her personal life which was so fucked up seeing that he had an asshole for a boyfriend who milked her account dry and cheated on her and basically treated her like shyte!
Well,that is what she told me and although her openness seemed normal at first,over time i began wondering why she was telling me all her problems;i mean i was at the prime of my life and was banging at least 4 nurses on the go at that time and she knew it!(one of them would later be my “Zulu wife”)
Her sob stories put me off as she always seemed to catch me on my precious break times when i would rather be chatting to girls my own age! That was until she one day told me that she was just thinking about me while she was having a bath the previous night and she wanted to phone me at home but she wasnt sure how i would take it!(WTF!) -Hapo ndio nilijua iko chinda! Anyway,i get into a sexual relationship with this loaded mature woman who flies me to concerts all over Europe and almost bought me a house in Westi (no word of a lie) which i turned down seeing her controlling nature.She had her own "paid for" house and it was in a plush area even by majuu standards and she hands me the keys and is always insisting on me moving in with her permanently and giving up my own place! (Kwani sina akili!) One day i decide to surprise her and take her to one of our local sex shops because as much as she is a freak in the bedroom and as much as i know her adventurous side,i know that she has never been to a sex shop. Sisi hao,... and we sneak into this shoddy backstreet sex shop that is a definition of hell on earth!From the minute you walk in you feel like you are sinning ..what; with all the sexual material,dildos,the dark lighting ...and oh....the silence! The shop has a few people in it but no one looks at you and no one talks to anyone. Kila mtu looks like they cant find what they went to buy but are too afraid to ask for it! As we nervously stroll from one side of the shop to the other and with her giggling and clutching at my hand like a little girl....Guess who should be on the opposite side of the shop at the Dildos section? Yes. Our Supervisor! I pretend not to see him and as he samples a few "Black Monster Cocks" he takes a swiping glance around the shop and there!!! Just like that,our eyes meet! I ofcourse pretend not to notice him and i dont say anything to my “girlfriend”. The guy picks up one of the black monster cocks and works his way towards the dis-interested checkout guy who has the "seen it all before"look on his face. I always thought that supervisor was racist but judging by the black plastic cock he is clutching in his hands, he or his wife obviously have nothing against black people!
In time my "girlfriend " settles for the Rampant Rabbit vibrator and so we join the que; her holding on to the sample Rampant Rabbit and three people ahead of us,our team leader eagerly paying for his “Black Monster Cock”
As the teamleader finishes to pay for his merchandise after what seemed like eternity,he glances at us and gives us that Jungu plastic smile and this is now the first time that my “girlfriend” has seen him!
Long story short,me and her sneak out and no word is said until we get to the car and she is having such an Adrenalin rush that she quickly opens the packaging to the dildo,inserts the batteries and asks me to park the car facing the fenced side of the car park!
Hapo hapo we reclined her passanger seat and put the Rampant Rabbit to use!
What a woman and what fond memories!
Funny thing is her and my Zulu wife became sworn enemies after i cheated on her with the Zulu wife and she narrated all our escapades to her just to annoy her! Who could have thought that i was going to marry and have kids with her?



vile hao wengine watasema uweke mbicha …

you know the drill!

This is what I was talking about. Perfect material for the magazine (with diagrams, of course).


hahahaha. nailed it


Boss umeyaona!


Senior driver nkikam London Summer tutakunywa beer kadhaa.Nice flow, I won’t mind 4,000 words or part 1 and 2.

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“…Anyway,i get into a sexual relationship with this loaded mature woman who flies me to concerts all over Europe and almost bought me a house in Westi (no word of a lie) which i turned down seeing her controlling nature…”

STFU. We aint kids


:eek::eek::eek:… How not to live life! ( courtesy of @The_Atheist)

Lol, uncle Ka-buda has been through hell and back. Am starting to wonder what you do for fun in present day you sound like ‘Been there done that and it ain’t cool’ kind of a guy.

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KEB inspectors wako area

Whenever things seem too much for me, I just remember @Ka-Buda, and console myself that since he came out alive, I shall make it.

Si uko na ndurama msee!



It’s still a woman we talking about right? Coz if she used to have a penis then that’s SHEMALE

Is it just me or is KTalk got more pop-ups than a Ma-afaka right now?
I know you fly to Europe once in a while; I live in Europe and City hopping around Europe is cheaper than going to Kisum or Mombasa and i have been to most of the European cities (na siringi) mostly for work but sometimes for pleasure.
I was just going through my photos of Reggae concerts i have been to from Amsterdam to Berlin etc and i just cant post the photos they will betray my identity.
Anyway ,here is one concert i will be at…kuja unisake!

I have used ICE to hop from one city to another in Europe and I know its cheap. What am disputing is the part of declining a hao in Westy. While at it, umekula wangapi RLD?

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You are so right bro.After ushapitia kasheshe mob hivi all you want is to chill out with your kids and raise a family.Alafu sasa ona wife anaanza kuleta drama zingine after all we have been up to.
Funny thing you say that, i believe trouble follows me;Leo nimegundua the place i rent a flat after wife amenichuja,the two flats beside me are Brothels! Like WTF!
Why does this shit happen to me?

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Amsterdam ni mapoko tu but that is the city where i first saw Morgan Heritage. Niulize juu ya Iceland buda! Niulize ni mamanzi wangapi nilitoboa huko? Omera! Negroids are getting around buana!..the funny thing is i hear people like you disputing my escapades and i think of my Kenyan friends who are real Gs wanaweza andika vitabu out of the shit they have gone through ulaya…(nahawasemi)

Coz most black guys majuu manage to get only white rejects… The fat, ugly and dumb white chicks with low self esteem.