Back in the day after securing a first job in a small town my eyes landed on a girl, now my wife. what swept my feet was the fact that she was hardworking.
Things took a very rapid turn when she got paged , I was just 26 or there about, I dint take her immediately, but after a thot I did.
We had a humble beginning and almost immediately I was charged with a responsibility of taking care of 2 other dependents.
Our first born would now join school and we did get what we felt was a good school,
By now I had changed jobs and was earning a better salary but not much. We even got a bigger 2 bedroom house and life was good.
I would party once in a while and was able to buy my first car by the time our second born came.
. Our eldest was now joining class one.
Now a few years down the line , things started crumbling. With new rules and strains I started loosing some side hustles and we were headed on a downward spiral. My wife had spent most times at home looking after our second born after her small kajob hit some one two technical hitches and was no longer viable.
The school my first born was is a middle class type where most parents are rather fascinated by just being associated with. it is the kind that a parent will try to make a point while on a drink or women would proudly mention in their gathering.
To me it was nothing and for the years I had not realized how expensive it was because paid the fees at ease.
The bitter pill came in sometime last year when things got worse and I had to visit the school to explain and beg for more time to clear the balances at numerous occasions.
I knew I had to change schools because the harder I tried to scratch my butt nothing was forthcoming.
You can imagine the feeling in every man on such a situation especially when you can afford something you value for your kids.
I am the give the best to your family which I suppose is everyone’s wish.
We urgued about changing schools and I had a very difficult time with my wife explaining how she has to loosen her grip on material things.
We changed schools eventually with now both kids in school.
This was among my most difficult times, and the feeling of failing.
Things have not improved as much but am a bit comfortable with what I can afford and hoping for a better tomorrow.
Hii umeandika at 4am must have really been bothering you. People can be very irrational, she should know that everyone wants the best for their kids but you have to work with what you have know coz they still have to learn. Utapata HBP juu ya bibi?
Heneways, problems don’t last forever, utaomoka then the wife will be acting like nothing happened and you will forgive but never forget that she has an amount of stupidity in her for giving you such kind of stress. One time when near her, pretend you’re clapping then give her a hot slap ya kutoa machungu, hawez enda hivyo tu.
Life is about challenges and if you stand long enough you will make it. Many times life happens a in phases - high and low. It is just how you handle the lows that dictates. Once a woman is given a certain lifestyle , it’s is difficult to take it way. Men can adjust. For women it’s tough.
It’s so simple just live below your means. That means if you’re middle class by income your lifestyle should be low-middle etc. If the kids’ schools are too expensive take them to a cheaper school. Kids are so resilient they will manage. If possible your wife should get a job too or business…
As a man of the house and the bread winner, you always have the last word concerning the welfare of your family.
Unless of course she insists she wants something better than you can provide and chips in with the extra bills.
i feel you boss,i have two kids as well.life can be a bitter pill to swallow,in the end it gets better.you are a good father by humbling yourself but not submitting to defeat
That ia my strategy too. Infact I want my kids to have the feel of growing in upcountry. It instills a certain sense of responsibility missing in born towns.
Luckily, a friend build a primary school in my upcountry. Last year they had the first class 8. The performance was amazing. I am considering having them there and either me or wife to be visiting every weekend.
Sure i recall on the closing day ( that was last year) after the kids presentation and my kid made a very good presentation. The host gave a very long speech on how we should sacrifice for our children and that was the rant that i got driving home, i told her off and made her know that nothing would turn me back there. she accepted with time and now the dust has settled
In fact we started a kasmall bizna late last year which she was trying to justify how it will support the fee which i knew by all means it was impossible unless auze stock zote. I stood my grounds.
By the way i never regret it , in fact it doest matter much at what age you choose to start a family. that shit happens all time.
Am proud that my first kid is in upper primary while my age mate friends have just started buying daipers
Women never regress in lifestyle that they are accustomed to unlike men. That is the reason finances and infidelity rank toe to toe as the foremost reasons for divorce.
[FONT=Georgia][SIZE=5]quality eduaction for your children is noble,but so is finances in your life.At such a moment of low income most of the people break coz they want to prove to the world they are walking on a higher road,less crowded lane.But with time you come to realize that when your bank balance isnt matching your desires the lower road too doesnt look so bad when you walk on it.its all a perception that sooner or later is admonished by the power of will.[/SIZE][/FONT]