I know it has been long since I gave you guys a hekaya but am back ka mgongo…here is an explanation of why I was away and while I was away…
It was a day just like any other…except the part where people were carrying flowers and most dressed in red-valentine’s. Lucky for me I had broken up with my wife number 1.a,¡¡ Just the day before this bullshit. But unlucky for me my bae 1.a.¡ Was expecting a surprise from me…time yenye Barcelona imenitoa kwa 20k na kuniwacha na 20 k kwa mfuko(the 2nd k is silent ).
I was busy in my head as I appeared relaxed nikisubiria embe chini ya mpera when my phone’s message tone brought me back to reality. At first I thought it was bae but baada ya kuchora pattern yangu four times hivi…Mpesa KWSKTNKBC confirmed 3000/= recieved from karanja muhogo. Wrong number hii I said as I quickly withdrew from my crush’s mpesa…I have her agent number off head since I couldn’t get her phone number. My mnazi was right chini ya mwembe…miracles gone real.
I took my valentine’s to a super fine 3.5 star hotel. Glad she didn’t come in her favourite red jubilee t-shirt,she was hotter than the day itself. We ordered the best for money wasn’t a problem,with my phone off I was sure no devil would spoil my date. We talked,ate,laughed until it was masaa ya kulipa bill tuingie lojo. Not that sikua na pesa but aliye leta bill was my wife number 1.a,ii.
Ndio maana umenizimia simu? She asked with her temper boiling. Kweli saitan halali,this was the new job she was about to tell before we broke up. I removed my phone trying to power it on when bae took it and hit on the ground as she left. Too bad she had just eaten so u can imagine the energy,niliokota battery kwa sahani ya msee. After a century of drama I paid my 2 k bill (plus ya msee batt iliruka kwake) na nakaleft na vipande si vya nyama bali vya simu.
Kufika homa…the devil at work again. Pesa nilikutumia za mafundi ziko wapi? Asked dad, apparently his phone was out off power so he used a friend’s phone. I took out my phone or the remains of what it was,put it on the table and told him how nimevamiwa na wakora. Only me and you know the wakora am talking about.
Had no phone to narrate for you the hekaya but at least now I can thanks to my bae number 2.a.iii.