Why a man shouldn't carry an umbrella

Men don’t like carrying something they are not used to. My wallet/money/IDs and phone and I’m good to go. We don’t want something that keeps our hands occupied, we aren’t used to that. A man should only carry an umbrella if it is raining at the time of leaving the house. If you are just anticipating rains please don’t. I made that mistake yesterday and after several stops I finally lost my umbrella worth about 1,500. I stopped to withdraw money and forgot it at the Equity agent’s place. Remembered later and was lucky to find it. Stopped to buy some phone accessories and forgot it there. 5 minutes later when I came back, found it. Forgot it at a clothes shop and found it intact when I came back. Forgot it at Ranalo’s and again I was lucky find it there. This one I only remembered cos when I came out it was drizzling. Forgot it at some place I just stopped to photocopy my ID and found it when I came back. Finally I forgot it in a matatu on my way home and that was it. Every single time I forgot it I kept telling myself that it wouldn’t happen again yet it kept happening till it got lost. I don’t know if my conclusion is right but it was that man should carry an umbrella unless it’s raining at the time of leaving the house.

Meanwhile I want to believe that given the prevailing weather we are gonna have plenty of December babies, aren’t we? Cos we are just fucking without a care, as we must.

I have actually started reading your threads but I unfortunately gun for the last comment first. How we should all ferk no matter the circumstances even if it is flooding. Hilarious stuff really.:smiley:

mbirrioneas dont “carry” umbrellas they ride with them

If you ask me, I’d rather just use a matatu or a taxi hailing app like Uber when going to Nairobi town. It’s just less stressful and even saves you from drunken accidents (if you do drink) and in many cases it’s even cheaper.

You have the memory of a warthog?


Should have two umbrellas 1 in the office n other at home

I thought alpha men don’t carry brollies?:slight_smile:

Mwanaume ni kunyeshewa. Ukifika home unajipaka tu mafuta na uko sawa, no shower juu mvua imekuosha

ugonjwa sio mchezo aacha nibebane na umbrella mimi

The real reason you hate umbrellas is that u made it to page one of githeri media with your ksh 1500 umbrella


Real men carry a gunia during the rainy season. You fold it to make a hood, wear it over your head and you are good to go.

What happens when you have to carry the one at home to the office or vice versa?

Remember to return it back where you found it

Nowadays my memory is better. I never forget my umbrella. Na sijawahi nunua umbrella… The one I have tulipewa na safaricom. Ati 1500/- that’s a stretch

Kwani unabeba zile umbrella za promotion,

Look for the small ones unaweka kwa coat na unaendelea na maisha