When you discover your "mother-in-law" secretly hates you!

The kiamsha-macho thread here titled “I wish I knew” was indeed an eye-opener. Niliichambua like my life depended on it because frankly, it did. Ever since, nimekua rada mbaya sana na hawa mayengs. I’m seeing red flags that previously took a curve over my head. Of particular note is the wisdom one elder dished about the importance of knowing the family background and upbringing of any woman you intend to donate your last name to. He opined that women from broken homes are highly likely to come with that toxicity to your home. How right he was.

It all started a few weeks ago when the woman and I accidentally bumped into her father in some drinking joint. They live in the same hood so this coincidence wasn’t all that surprising. I had met the guy before but we didn’t talk. On this fateful day, nilikosa njia ya kuingia Karura on his dad because it was a social setting and we had no choice but to join him at his table. A few drinks down the line and we were all having the time of our lives bonding. He even endorsed my candidature for his daughter’s soulmate. But then it started getting weird as her dad irrigated his throat more. He became reckless in his talk. He would talk about his visits to other countries and dwell on how beautiful the women in said countries were. I didn’t think too much into it at the time because I was well aware that he and the woman’s mom were separated and that part of the reason was because of his philandering ways. They are somehow still “together” but live in separate houses literally a stone-throw away from each other. I can’t recall exactly what triggered it but the woman suddenly had an outburst, accusing her dad of all manner of things from her childhood. Needless to say, this was very painful for me to watch and hear. The traditional me had never experienced such a level of disrespect from someone towards their father. But it was quite interesting because it reminded me of similar outbursts from her towards me that had started not too long ago. Outbursts I previously blamed on alcohol but all the same I was worried about. Her dad, obviously because he had been in this situation many times, tactfully and gracefully brought the situation under control and we were soon back to drinking and making merry. But armed with the wisdom from Elders here, my antennas switched to red alert.

Fast forward a few days later, she had yet another outburst directed at me, a situation I walked away from and swore never to allow again. I decided to cut her off. But in her typical you-are-not-leaving-me fashion, she showed up at my house unannounced the next day. I saw it coming as she had done this many times before. I had pondered what options I had for dealing with it decisively when she came and I concluded that denying her entry would be a bit on the beta side. So I decided that when she showed up, I’d gracefully host her and initiate “the talk” with her with as much civility as I could muster. She immediately sensed some level of indifference from me as soon as she walked in (I’m very poor at pretending) and immediately called her mother. She started sobbing about how stressed she was and how the stress had triggered her ulcers. She was obviously fishing for sympathy from me because she ensured I could hear the conversation. What she did not expect is that her mother would go into yap mode and say things I was not supposed to hear. See, her mom has always been super nice to me. She even referred to me as “my son” multiple times, an honor I was made to understand had never been bestowed on anyone else.

I was trying to block the conversation and mind my own business even though I could hear her mom mention my name a few times. Until this woman said something that awoke my antennas. “Mom, I’m the problem,” she said. Because I’d heard my name a few times, it only made sense to me that her mom was trying to insinuate that somehow, I was the source of her problems. The woman on the other hand was trying to sound like she was defending me against the insinuation. So when I decided to pay closer attention to the convo, nilipigwa na bumbwazi from what I heard. Her mom insisted that she was not the problem and that she needed to move on from me. To which this woman responded something to the effect that she “survives on love” and can’t live without it. Waah! Her mom went into this rant about how the fact that her dad likes me suggests that he might see himself in me. The mother kept insisting on how she had told her multiple times to leave me but she never listened. It immediately dawned on me that this woman had been bad-mouthing me to her mom, all the while lying to me how much the same mother really liked me. That is when it all came together. This is an estrogen-centric family. A tight-knit cabal of six women. The few men from this family have all been alieneted. They kicked out their father. Their brother died a few years ago after he ran away from home and went to live on the streets in downtown Nairobi. One of the girls in the family has a daughter and son. Their father took the son and went to live with him, leaving the daughter with her mom. He must have seen something for him to do that.

Wadau, am I being too creative in my analysis of this situation ama ni ukweli iko shida hapa?

Jamaa,endelea kua bachelor tu,haya ya kunguru huyawezi,yanataka mtu kama @Kush nguruweste mwenye alioa na akahama Kijiji asisome ukweli wa maisha ya familia

Ehh,wagwan brother

Summary banae

This one required context banae

huyo Kunguru bado ako kwako?

Alijitoa asubuhi na mapema. Probably doesn’t even know I could hear her mother. Sikumwambia.

Boss, your girl’s or wife’s family never really likes you. You were just thrust in their midst because their daughter’s loins are on fire and she needs a constant Dick. Even in your next relationship get that in your head. Never live with the illusion that they like you. the plastic platitudes and smiles are the fakest things you will ever encounter. Your downfall is celebrated more than your success by them. Kaa chonjo

SHE BELONGS TO THE STREETS…IGNORE HER LIKE A PLAGUE NA UAMBIE WATCHMAN AKIKUJA HAKUBALIWI KUINGIA HIO PLOTI…always works like wonders na ushikie soja Can Moja ya Beer ninja will over work

Msee ingia karura… I will sign. Place it on my table tomorrow morning before office hours. Nitasign

While dropping it, utapata registration forms za MGTOW, huku raha tu, just append your signature I will fill the details, and recommend you to the board of registration

Gaoshaod anakunywa kwa meza moja na babake? Unaenda kunywa fobe na future wife? Maybe I’m too conservative.

Hizi advice ziukuwa ngumu kupeana juu tunajua story na side yako tu na by default watu huwa biased na story. You yourself knows the entire truth, the information you’re giving us and that which you’ve not included kwa story. Jiite kamkutano alafu ukuwe honest with yourself and only then will you make a sane decision

In my culture girls do not drink ‘infront’ of their dads. Ever. Let alone drink with them. This is a dysfunctional family aping behaviours from the western world.
OP has had an opportunity to see it all na bado he is waiting for the whistle? or the drumbeat?
Also in-laws are not there to like you 100%. It will never happen.

PINK HANDLE DETECTED…rarely do men ask the Other side

From your story you are just diving into conclusions. There is no concrete evidence whatsoever confirming your accusations against the woman. Thank you

I learn something new here every day.

Rarely… Not never, besides people always embellish the details

These are just observations. There is nothing I have concluded here. And I don’t think I need any conclusive evidence to know that I need to run for the hills very fast.


That was the biggest giveaway to the dysfunction…tena kwa public joint.