Wanaume, lets join together to eradicate this epidemic!!!!

I know I (and others) have written about this epidemic before but I think it should now be declared a national disaster.

What am talking about is the peculiarly Kenyan female disease, facilitated by mobile money transfer services, of some random bittch asking for some 1K, 2K, 3K or even 10K payable, allegedly, “within a week” to solve one or the other personal problem.

What makes the disease extremely irritating is the fact that the women (dont call them ladies) who are always asking for the money are barely known to you. You meet a nice looking lass in a pub and buy her two drinks, for example, and the next day she smses you ati, “Honey, niokolee 2k plse nipeleke jr hosi”. Now who is jr? Tulizaa yeye na wewe? Who was taking him/her/it to hosi before last night when we met?

On Friday I met this smashing Luo babe, a waiteress downtown on Kamae Rd, in a dingy bar playing Ohangla. Despite all my approaches, she ignored me till she saw me give the live band Sh500 for playing good music. Suddenly her eyes lit up - she realised the funny looking Okuyu that I am “has money”.

Today guess what? She smsed ati shes in a jam and wants 3k, returnable Tuesday. 3K just like that. Imagine if she sends that sms to 20 niggas just 7 of whom are suckers. Sh21,000 PAP!

As a senior Kenyan, I want to mobilise all men to stop indulging these sheboons just because they have some sort of a hole between their legs, some of which stink like shit. Kama ni kuma nunua live live Sh300 ama stick with the houselady, wacha kuchukuliwa kama a brainless ATM na random bittches.

Making money in this town is really hard, and wasting it on crafty sheboons is the worst way to live. Man up guys - buy your manpal a drink today, coz chances are that he’ll buy you one before the end of the week. The best you can hope for from a sheboon is a clean kuma, if at all.

Kwa hayo machache, wanaume wote tuungane tuangamize huu ufisi.


couldn’t agree more, if I spend 5K on the boys we will have fun and chances are the same will be replicated sooner or later or they will come through when am in a fix. Those random donor pleas by these lasses hazileti shangwe kabisa. I support;

wanaume wote tuungane tuangamize huu ufisi.


hahahhaha…i guess there was no gun pointed on you…

hows phil @couch

i see no harm in giving her the 3k if nimekula hiyo kuma.hiyo shimo siyo ya bure

had this problem with former girlfriends always coming up with tu-funny emergencies until i wisened up. i decided one monday morning to text or call them-please save me with 2k…of course no mention of refund. with their misplaced sense of entitlement that the cash should only be flowing their way, none of them obliged…i guess next time they remember me as an ATM they also remember they never came through for me. i do not get their smses on 28th anymore…


kusaidia once in a while with a genuine prob si mbaya lakini kutoanishwa ni kama unalipia royalties si poa…

Fact is I never sent the money, gun or no gun. Its the brazen effort to extort money I find criminal. Kila mtu afanye kazi apate pesa yake, sio kutumia kuma kama bait unless ni malaya.

Actually I have the deepest respect for prostitutes, some of whom are my best friends. They are truthful and very caring, AND NEVER TRY TO EXPLOIT THEIR FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU. Kama wamesota waniniambia “Couch, ebu swing me 2k nitakusort wakati nitatoanisha mzungu”. And true to form, utakuwa unachill nyumbani unaona Mpesa imeingia…fantastic people!

As for these other “decent” sheboons…bure kabisa!


picha ya the babe na face ikilight up.agree with you kapsaa.I always ignore, kwanza ma ex wanashida ya doh sana.

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Some philosophy.

Manki ebu sweetie niokolee na 1k, aki.

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ha ha uchokozi nayo

Kuna dame nilikula on feb na malipo rukaskizana 2500 kwa room. Morning nikamruka cz hakunipa.bj and that was.it

Kweli kabisa, "dont plough and plant in a shamba that you will not harvest from… john_doe 2015 "

Very true Kenyapithecus. Nakuunga mkono.

I have never had this problem because i don`t give my phone number to “strangers” and i always pay my hookers fully before i shag them.
@FieldMarshal CouchP ,there is a part of the story that is missing. That part between meeting her and you getting an SMS from her.

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Lets be serious. The calibre of women that are going to ask you for that 1k to 3k are fickle at best. And especially the younglings who just want stuff handed to them so they can just have fun.
Quit hanging out with the waitresses and hoodrats and you wont be asked for cash.


You work hard for your money and just give it away? not my style.
Kikuyu women love Luo men because Luo men love to give them their money. They can deny it but it’s true

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That is the business nowadays. Get phone numbers of those guys who seem to have money and are buying rounds. Then start borrowing them money saying you will refund. If in a week you get 20 numbers of team mafiosi…she first gets a crate or two of drinks booked kwa counter and a bout 20k if the guys respond to her smses with 1k each. During her off day you will just notice she is not there…and she will claim to be tired or washing or mteja. After 6 months she changes pubs and houses juu ya kupanda class and need for new stupid couchps

I have never agreed more with you, Mr. antique!

Happens a lot and I hate it but being Street smart, I have lots of phone numbers that I give to such characters, nikiona amezidi, I give that number a rest for sometime.