Violence Against Women

So today I saw the post on a lady in Emba who was beat with a hammer on the head after strangulation failed to achieve results. Of killing her. Now I understand the magnitude of being threatened with a hammer because one day during a highway robbery I saw some thugs who swooped in on 2 bodas unleash hammers and pistols. When I saw the hammer I didn’t even care about the guns. I was like there’s no way I will wait to either watch or be bashed with a hammer. Folks let’s just say it’s a very scary thing to be attacked with a hammer.

Now, the general attitude when a woman suffers violence, is that she did something to provoke it because why would a man just decide one day to kill his woman for no good reason. Sometimes back we saw a househelps beat a toddler badly because the child threw up. I am sure to her that it was provocation.

Turning to violence is not a normal thing much as we may try to normal use it. We have heard of teachers who have killed students while punishing them for a justified error. If the punishment does not end tragically we say, spare the rod spoil the child and the teacher did good to punish the student. Our society normalizes violence through violent sports like boxing and wrestling. By the time a boy is 8 yrs old he is likely to have viewed several hours of violence. It’s normal to be bullied and to bully younger kids in school. In boys schools bullying has led to deaths. Boys have also been known to die during initiation because particularly in my community, manhood comes through the initiate being bullied and beaten mercilessly. So this is the backdrop men in our society grow up in.

As the adage goes violence begets violence. Male children are exposed to a lot of violence through games, watching wrestling and IRL experiences of bullying. So the violence we see playing out in our society does not happen in a vacuum.

Now the trend of victim blaming says violence can not be unprovoked. Actually abusive people can find a reason to attack even if the person is Mother Teresa. Being an abuser is a heady experience because particularly for a person who feels powerless, it gives a sense of power. What can be more powerful than the ability to bully another, the power to abuse another, the power to even kill another and get away with it.

Equally exhilarating for an abuser is the power to evoke such submission that even after abusing a man or woman that person can not leave. Even if they’re staying for the kids or the finances, it still excites the abuser in that, they have the power to keep you in an abusive relationship. That’s a very raw potent albeit toxic form of power that many require because they feel powerless in other aspects of their lives.

Why can’t the victims just leave? Probably for the same reason parents will sooner enable a child’s drug habit than throw them out.Sometimes these kids even kill their parents or maim them but how do they let go of them. It’s a conundrum. The person that is supposed to protect you becoming your worst enemy but what can they love the person. They want to maintain the status quo for the sake of their children, so that the child won’t be from a broken home and at other times out of their own desire to continue enjoying the financial support or moral support of the abusive spouse. For other women, maybe there’s no financial support but they want to stay married to the abuser to avoid stigma and becoming a pariah after becoming a single mother and a divorce, this is especially difficult for poorer women who have nothing but there family in life.

Way forward, don’t provoke your abuser? Well we know many homicides committed by the abuser are committed because men do not like to lose, and if they see the woman winning at their expense they’d rather kill. Pick your battles wisely and avoid escalating arguments while alone Sometimes the abuser may go as far killing children especially in custody cases among divorced people. Where you can lose access to their children like the 50 year old mother of 5 in Connecticut murdered by her exe husband for seeking soul custody.

So what is the solution? Frankly I have none. Domestic Violence and femicide are here to stay if you see signs, if threats are made constantly, just cut your losses and walk away if you can be. If not pray for divine intervention. Life is tough. A lot of times there’s no clear cut one size fits all solution. God rest all victims of domestic violence in eternal peace.

Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today. It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day. We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he was sorry and didn’t mean the things he said. Because I got flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day. Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real. I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over. I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day. Last night, he beat me up again. And it was much worse than all other times. If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? What about money? I’ m afraid of him and scared to leave. But I know he must be sorry Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today. Today was a very special day. It was the day of my funeral. Last night he finally killed me. He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.

This poem is dedicated to all the victims and survivors of Domestic Violence.

You ask, why didn’t she leave?

I ask, why did he hit?

Author: Paulette Kelly

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I usually avoid your arguments. However, I agree with this post. I have a daughter and won’t allow anyone to beat her up. God help me live long enough to ensure that no one beats her up. On the same vein, I will also ensure that my sons also do not get into abusive relationships. I cannot do that if I don’t ensure that my home is balanced.

We need to view gender based violence negatively irrespective of the perpetrator’s gender. I don’t care if someones daughter was abused by her father, all I want is to prevent my son from ever meeting such a tormented soul. The same for my daughter.

Most of us are responsible males who are not about to strungle their wives.

The moment waliamua kunyanyasa boysaod ndio shida ilianza and I don’t care. Trust me, ikifika jamaa alitumia sledge hammer the woman deserved it.

I don’t think you would say the same once you get a lifetime in jail. Unaanza maisha kijana kichwa ngumu alafu unatumwa jela maisha! Do you know that after five years, people stop visiting you in prison. You wallow in your regret and lose each and every one of your friends.

No one is worth killing. Leave abusive people alone. They have a way of finding their way into jail, eventually.

Wewe kigui sema tu ivo but one day you will know mtu hujikuta. Unajua kitu inaitwa blind rage? It can make you do shiet you couldn’t have thought utafanya. I usually ask people, kwani the nigga just felt like killing and acted on it? Not really.

Men and women beat each other in equal measure when it comes to domestic violence. Ni vile tu male blows make the most marks, so feminists want us to pity the ladies, but a wise person will tell you to just keep off kuingilia these domestic violence situations.

I could be a little bit older, just a little bit more knowledgeable. Believe me, hiyo hasira ya five minutes will make you a pariah forever. Think that you will be assaulting the mother to your children.

Why not just walk out and only come back when you can engage in a non violent confrontation?

Takes alot of will power to open your posts. Waah. Je wale wenye 4 inch screens?

I don’t engage in domestic violence. I have taught my children to report any domestic violence/abuse to me or the authorities. If you don’t agree with your spouse, kick him/her out.

I don’t beat my children up. Wewe mwanaume/mwanamke gani uje umgonge? And guys, don’t take this as a joke! Some slay Queen can take a service revolver, coolly shoot a bullet behind your ear and claim that you were abusing her.

I think a lot of this has to do with adjusting to modern times. When you introduce a new individual into a group, some jostling occurs to reach a new equillibrium. There are very few women nowadays. Most women have become men, men are trying to adjust to these new men.

If this is in writing which is more energy sapping, imagine having a one on one…:D:D

Not nice to bring her down. You can skip her or press the ignore button. She posts day to day ishus. No one forces you to read.

I pray one day a thug shots you in the head and tells you, when your kids have no father, I will say, I dont care, ikifika jamaa kushoot mtu kwa kichwa , the @Baby Panay completely deserves it because the moment middle class and other classes decided kunyanyasa poor people ndio shida ilianza and I dont care. God answer my prayer, the world will be a better place for your daughters. Huyu jamaa apigwe risasi ya kichwa before he hurts somebody’s daughter because he is sick in the head and deserves several bullets in the head. Amen. Nimesahau @Karoga the woman hater kwa hio hitlist Lord, ondoa hawa watu wanatusumbua. The world isnt big enough for us to be living with such hateful bigots.

Talk of obsession/online stalking…BTW that Karoga person trolls your every post. He used to do the same using his old handles, the sponsor one and another stupid one. Quotes you even where you are not involved.

If you think it is energy sapping to read imagine living it, dont imagine a one on one, let me give you one . :D:D:D:D:D:D Its nothing to smile about.
I lived it as a child, so what I write about domestic violence is actually a very toned down and logical position , I try to keep the emotion out of it. . When you get home you dont know kutalipuka lini, you pray tonight it will be a peaceful night at your house.In the middle of the night like 3am, you are woken up with raised voices ,soon it escalates to running battles and broken glasses and obviously you as the kids cant sleep anymore. Your brother goes to defend your mother, he is thrown to the wall. You lock the door of your room and start to pray, your baby sister by now is crying, you cant cry because you are the eldest, you must be strong for the others. You sit tight and hope nobody will get killed tonight. You worry if the neighbours are hearing and what theyre thinking of you now. You are filled with shame. You cant bring a friend over sleep overs because at your house the hours of the night can be excruciatingly long and perilous. One or the other is cut with broken glass or a knife, they rush to hospital. Finally you can leave your room . Peace at last. A short lived peace, until they are back. Your job as a child instead of being carefree is praying for your parents to stop fighting and to not break up so that you and your siblings dont end up suffering. You vow to never ever let anybody have that kind of power over you. You escape into fantasies of when you will be all grown up so that you can escape Sorbibor. Thats what my siblings and I called our house. It was a warzone.When my brother became older the war moved from the mother to the son. Now it was two men fighting still it was scary to see after a disagreement your young baby bro being hit over the head with a chair by a man twice his size. To have his legs almost broken because he stole the car. He found a defence mechanism and would run into a room and lock himself to escape the fury but the fury monster was too strong, doors were broken, one by one . Soon enough no room in the house had a lock . Living with violence is a nightmare only equal to war.War in the most intimate place, the place people should take refuge. When you are old enough you leave, you experience what it is like to stay a whole week,a whole month, a WHOLE YEAR with no fear, no stress, no fights, no violence ,no seeing bleeding hands , NIRVANA. Absolute heaven. How long you have waited for this day. Safe at last. At Peace at last. Now you can be sure to sleep the whole night through with no fear. Who knew things that people take forgranted like peace and traquility can be this precious. Everytime you are tempted to stay in an abusive relationship in the name of ‘love’ , you hear a voice clearly say, havent you suffered enough? A chidhood of this, now you want a repeat? Love isnt abuse.Love is Peace. Love is having a smile when you get to the gate of your house because you know your house is your sanctuary ,an oasis of peace and in an ever turbulent world, and nothing and nobody can change that.FREE! FREE! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM FREE AT LAST.

I cant imagine what it is like for those whose dad killed their mom, their mom is dead, their dad is in jail. When others talk about their parents with great love and nostalgia, they quickly change the topic. This is their heritage. This is the legacy left in their lives. My heart goes out to them. This demon of anger and uncontrollable rage in the man you love the most in the world ,the man whose image you are created in, your father is the worst thing that can happen to any child. You are caught between love and terror. The most amazing guy in the world who could do anything to see a smile on your face , when he gets angry becomes a monster that could kill. So painful. Words cant explain the heartache. :cry:

I decided awhile back to completely ignore him and I told him as much. I quoted for him the date and told him to mark that date as the last date I will engage him because he has a problem , a psychological problem, a self esteem problem, alot of anger and hate towards people who have done him no wrong. I dont understand how people can maintain such a sustained hate for an entire group of people. When half his DNA came from a woman, he was in a woman’s womb 9 months, the woman had the power to abort and kill him even as a child but instead a woman took great care of him. Today if his alfa ass gets in an accident and he is completely paralysed it is these same horrific women who will take care of his sorry ass till he dies.

What I know is this, nobody who is truly powerfully and truly happy and truly at peace and truly fulfilled , can be so filled with contempt and hate for any other humanbeing or a group of people, I dont care if someone in that group hurt you, you cant hate them because then you give them power to turn you into the ugly person they are.This is something God taught me, I would get hurt by someone or disappointed and say if its a man or if its a kiyuk or a luo or a woman , God would send me a person from that group, I by then justifiably hate to help and after Ive helped them, is when I realise gosh does God have a sense of humor, He sends me people from groups I want to hate and justifiably so , to help. And then He makes sure I forge ten I hated the group till after Ive helped them. As Will SMith told his son, HATE IN YOUR HEART WILL CONSUME YOU BEFORE IT CONSUMES YOUR ENEMY. Day in,day out talking down to women ,month in,month out, year in year out. Women this, women that. They have a problem. Women as a group are just a punching bag to vent that frustration, to vent that low self esteem, to vent , to vent, to vent. Women as an entity are the cat to be kicked as an outlet for all their problems.

I came to realise God’s wisdom in saying love your enemies, pray for those who hate you, when your enemy is hungry feed them. Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. The power behind all evil is in its power to corrupt. The person who does evil to you, is driven by the evil desire to turn you into an evil person like them and this is what bigots dont understand. When your life is centered on hate, you are not powerful, you are a slave. I always wonder why God even speaks to Satan like He should hate Satan and never even talk to him but then this is why God is God because God is love. After all the mayhem Satan has wrecked, God isnt moved, He is comfortably on His throne, Satan comes to join the line to see God like in Job’s story and God even gives him audience. Asks the devil where he is from, like God doesnt know and even brags to Satan ,and even takes on a challenge from Satan. Now that to me is awesome . That is something I cant comprehend. Not these fools who keep singing how theyre gods and if they see a post from a woman , they all rise up like the world is about to end. If you want to be a god. Study God be like Him. He is not moved by ANYTHING. His authority is not threatened by anything - do you know Satan rebelled with a third of all the angels? Wewe hapa let not a woman not say anything esp anything about men, you are almost getting a heart attack? You are a straw god. Listen to all the mystics they will tell you. Self Mastery and not being affected by external stuff is the key to god status. If your entire identity as a man or a woman is based on external things things outside yourself like how you are better than women or how you are better than your neighbour and not just the betterness but you have to put somebody else down, you have to bully somebody else to feel like you are a big boy really? Ive got news for you are not a god ohhh you are a slave . Show me where you ever heard God compare Himself to the devil and talk shit about the devil to show that He is better? Nowhere. Amemwachia tuu afanye vile anataka akijua kitaeleweka in the end who is who here and who is on top of things. Hashindi akiimbia Shetani wimbo. You know Satan you are about to hit the walllll, LOL. Nooo. When you bitch so much all it does is take away your power. Do you know why dignitaries are called dignitaries ? Because hawana time to focus on low low things the rest are doing or not doing. Have you ever heard Queen Elizabeth tell King of Monaco, I am better than you? Nope. Their being and stature and actions speak for them. Who can argue with that? If you want to be something study people who embody that. Dont go congregate with a bunch of losers and join a sexist cult. Level up. Think as an individual. Hakuna mtu notable in this world alikuwa mtu wa vikundi.

Anyway, the sun is out today, lemme go bask.