UMEFFI at my mbich residential plot.

They say if you want to destroy any entity efficiently just put the least abled person in a position of power. For some reason the Napoleon syndrome takes effect and this assholes want to show their new acquired powers in every little opportunity. Nobody says this by the way. This is my own proven philosophy.

Anyway to the main story jana usiku I get a call from my mbich asking me to come over. Since I was doing nothing nikasema acha nifikishe threshold. After a 45 minute journey to the undisclosed location napata this Luhya looking soldiers apo kwa gate na a registry book. They told me nafaa kujaza my details apo. I thought this is pretty standard in most plots and I said okay to it. I took out my ID nikamshow as I filled my details they confirm am giving them the right information. Nikamaliza and I told him to give me back my ID and to my surprise they tell me nikujie nikitoka. I am always very paranoid about leaving my personal documents anywhere leave alone to a watchman overnight. Adding to that I have the Somali syndrome. (Being very resistant to change and new order). Nikawashow nope since I have filled everything in that ID in their stupid book there was no need wakae nayo usiku mzima. By the way a lot of illegal things could be done with a simple ID. Registration of Sim Cards, take loans etc.

For some reason most Kenyans believe Somalis are some sort of superior tribe so every other insecure cunt wants to enter a dick measuring contest with us. So tuka argue kidogo nikasema acha I call my girl nijue hii ni official policy ama it’s special treatment for wariahs. I called to ask that nashtuka msichana amesha shuka. Wakaanza kuongea nikaona hii story imekuwa commotion ya Umama sasa. Mbich alikunja mkia haraka akasema “just give them your ID”. By this time am tired of this shit nika conclude the possibility of getting my balls sucked dry far outweighed this dick measuring contest. Nikaacha my ID nipande juu ni relax. Remember the philosophy I just told you? well hii Mbwa started thinking he has actual powers on telling tenants who they can have as guests. Akaanza kuniambia unajua naweza kata uingie? Namwambia “Kwa nini and on what grounds?” ati watu wameibiwa blah blah blah. Nikamshow ado venye anataka as this idiot has already ruined the romantic atmosphere of the night.

Anyways told my mbich to get official communication on that policy if it’s official ama hizi Luhya zinaanza tu ufala zao. Ata siezi taka kufika hiyo plot ya kisirani tena akuje tu kwangu. Anyway asubuhi na pick my ID nikama inanuka mkojo :eek::smiley:

There is nothing more disgusting like those watchies when they decide to show you they have power. Best approach is to respect them and call them wakubwa.Even if you don’t mean it. Works everytime

some residential areas wako na hiyo umeffi,landlord anapea nyongesa serious instructions on entry.i mostly leave my DL hapo.akisumbua unampea finje

Aliona umekonda ndio sasa akakuharass. Yaani aliona hakuna kitu ungefanya.

Hapo ni kuhama na kuambia huyo landlord akae na watchmen wake wamlipe hio rent.

In my court, there are two entrances. One weekend I had taken a long walk to Tatu city, a dusty place, with open shoes. Came back around 6 PM dragging my feet since its a fairly distant place from where I stay but I really needed a walk to relax. I meet this Kisii watchman at the nearest entrance and he starts being a cunt, refuses to allow me to enter blah blah asks for ID wants me to leave it there. I told him I stay there trying to be as polite as possible bado he continues being a cunt. I cut the chase and gave a call to the court security chairman. Nigga swallowed his tongue. Another time I came back driving and used the other gate funny enough the watchmen at the other gate were new but they still allowed me in bila maswali.

What am I trying to say? Perceptions and prejudice are base human instincts.


Yah maybe but usikuwe na hiyo mentality ukiona Somalis. Most Wariahs hukuwa very emotional and vengeful. Any small fight ends with one party seriously broken.Inaeza stretch for years. Ingefika physical I strongly believe I could have stood my ground till my back up ikuje. It’s just that I hate getting into stupid fights.

Mawatchie wanakuanga na power sana. They can make you miss out on an important deal juu ya upus.

Ukweli man niliboeka sana

“For some reason most Kenyans believe Somalis are some sort of superior tribe”…

Let me first say no to this.

No we don’t.

OK let me finish reading. I paused there to correct you first.


hio ilikuwa shaitan @Uncle nyap

I liked your post based on the first sentence. Nikasoma the balance nikaunlike.

I will not pander to small egos. Open the damn gate. I will not leave my id or DL. If I’m 2ith someone 3lse, we’ll use their id not mine.

kuta @Mundu Mulosi hapo utajua hujui,lakini hizo huwa orders from above

Chocha za ufala. Those watchmen kill without thinking twice. Wakati unaita backup unadhania Wafula atakuwa hapo tu akikagua thermos ya chai? When dealing with them just massage their egos, call them boss or chief, sio kuja na defensive attitude.

soja not soldiers karibu nifikirie mbich wako ni marine.

this is you sucking you own dick, no one thinks that, in fact most think somalis smell like shit

Pack fighters are pussies, especially waarabu wa coast who call the entire and show up with knives . Lone wolf ndio mwanaume.

Haha wewe huona these watchmen hukuwa trained killers? They are just regular assholes on a power trip. Nimekubaliana na your last statement though.

Acha ujinga, Wakenya wagani?

It’s unfortunate but if you look like a thief people will treat you like one, it is what it is.