It has been almost (going to be a year in March) since I have been screwing my single mother girlfriend (I do not know who the father of her son was). We broke up on Sunday, for a very small reason; so small I cannot even remember what the reason is, all I know is that pleasure hole (Vagina) is a No Go Zone! That 19 year old single mother pussy will no longer be a phone call away!
As she called my phone screaming into her end of the mouth piece telling me how I am a very stingy boyfriend. I cannot help but feel that sharp pain in my heart that I have just had something removed from inside my body. No, it is not my heart. I am not a romantic; I do have weekly meetings with the favorite ladies of the flesh in Narobi (one of the places is Mlolongo, here I also count as Nairobi). We are actually on a name to name basis with the women at a brothel. But ironically, she used to like the romance I used to give her; a call at night and in the morning to say “goodnight” and “good morning”. hehehe. Romance!
What really annoys me is how I know have to go back to the ladies market and look for another dim wit (a stupid woman) that will allow me to penetrate her without any condom at whichever time I want, whichever style I want and not want to be taken to a drinking joint or holiday! Kama kawaida, in the beginning we did use condoms. But, after the third time I stopped. She did get pregnant once, but she either threw the kid in the pit latrine (I am very serious) or had an abortion at the 8 month of pregnancy. The first time we broke up it was because she was demanding money for an abortion; without proof of being pregnant! But, right now the work that I am going to have to carry out; clubbing, getting my shit stolen, sleeping at the bar because of being drunk, women stealing my cash with the large amounts of beer they consume and actually stealing my cash. Ironically, when I buy a whore a beer at Sabina Joy, Mlolongo or even at Kiza they all seem to be able to keep up the same drinking rythmn as me! At Kiza it just become to uneconomical! But, when you drink with your workmate, she cannot even finish the 5 beers you have bought her! Maybe 2, maximum 3. This stress of looking for another woman is too much. I can already see myself eagerly waiting for my ‘date’ with my Embu hooker this Friday.
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As she is now angry and willing to make me cry in tears, she calls me for the 5th time in less than 30 minutes. I pick up the phone as I have actually nothing to do, napanga mpango. I answer the call. It is at this moment she foolishly (I say foolish, because she thinks it will hurt me now) tells me the truth; but I should say in arrogant way instead of foolishly. You know how this young women (Slay queen generation) tell you things about who they know. Before, I had an idea of who the father of her child was. I was warned that he is still alive, but not told who! After being warned I decided, there is definitely no need of dying because of pussy! She talks in a cheeky way, I listen through the expensive LG phone. She seems happy that what she is confessing to will make me commit suicide! She does not know, I have been through over 10 break-ups in a month. I have perfected the procedure of moving on! But, what she says shocks me but does not make me afraid.
She then tells me that the father of her son has always been alive! That her heart has always been with ‘My babies father’. THAT SHE IS NOT A SINGLE MOTHER!
It then hits me, this thing that women call being stingy is actually God whispering in Men’s ear and saying, “Don’t be stupid! This is your money not her money!”
I cannot stop laughing once she tells me this (An inside laugh, not a laugh you can hear from the outside). I saved a tonne of money.
You see I really, really, really, really, really, really HATE COPS. I SCREWED YOUR BITCH @pamba na marafiki zako!
Anyway, from now on when I hear that a woman is in good books with a policeman; I will not hit it MORE THAN ONCE! Thank God this 19 year old single mother does not know where I now reside, work, does not have my picture (My social media profile, WhatsApp has no picture!). A smooth criminal of police wife pussy.
Her ‘husband’ is in the road somewhere stopping matatus for a 50 bob; hustling for the family. Poor policeman. The next time I get stopped on the road by one of them; I will get the courage to ask,“Afande, unajua bibi yako anakulwa na nani saa hii!”