To kids expecting their K.C.S.E results

(This also applies to those who’re planning to join campus. And those who’re still in school. Don’t limit yourself unnecessarily, kids.)

First of all, breathe. Roll a joint if you need to. Just chill the fuckk out for a second.

Okay, first things first. You’re young. You’ve still got your whole life ahead of you. So again, re-fuckking-lax.

Now, I know that your parents, your teachers, and general well-wishers have been putting a lot of pressure on you lately. These exams, to an uncertain extent, are going to shape your future. But I’ll tell you now – they’re no way near as important as you think they are.

You’ve been sold a lie.

Here’s something you’ll learn when you get out of high school:


Not just yout teachers, not just your parents, not just your uptight older brother John, but everyone. Society. The Government. Your nosy next-door neighbour. The dude you’ll meet at a bar. Everyone and everything will have an opinion on what is best for you. Fuckk 'em. Let them think what they wanna think.

Getting straight A’s isn’t going to guarantee your success, and not getting straight A’s is not going to guarantee your failure either. All that shit’s relative. Working 8 - 5, for thirty years, in a job you hate, just because it pays well and has room for progression, isn’t success. Working 9 - 7, for all your life, in a job you absolutely love, for minimum wage, isn’t failure.

You’re still, what? 18? 19, maybe? You probably don’t even know what you like yet. You might think you know, there’s a chance you might actually know, but you probably don’t. That’s what life is for. To figure this shit out.

Getting better marks doesn’t necessarily open more doors, either. Think about it like this. Rich people tend to (stereotypically) but expensive alcohol. Poor people buy cheap alcohol. Sure, rich people can buy cheap alcohol too. But they usually don’t. Why? Because they don’t have to, they can buy the good shit.

Is the good shit necessarily better than the cheap shit? No – it’s not. Usually, taste doesn’t accurately reflect cost. But that’s the thing: if you get good marks, you might feel inclined to make the most of them. Instead of studying physics, maybe you’ll decide to do medicine. Instead of studying fashion design, like you always wanted, you’ll decide instead on law, cause, hey, why the fuckk not, you got the mark for it, the door’s now open, make the most of it – hey?


There are millions of doors open to you. The key isn’t opening as many as possible, right now, immediately – settle the fuckk down. The key lies in finding the doors you’d actually want to walk through. In creating a track you can actually be bothered strolling down. That’s the tough part.

Having an education is only important through a social lens. It’s not going to make you a better person. What’s going to make you a better person is learning. Submitting to your curiosities. Taking chances. A willingness to stand up for what you want – for what you believe in – and heading in your own direction.

It’s your life. Fuckk what other people want from you. That might sound selfish. It probably is. But fuckk it. Again, it’s your life. Live, and let live. Bounce to the beat of your own drum.

But hey, well you’ve got the chance; you might as well study hard. But don’t study because you feel you have to. Don’t study to impress your dad or your mum, or because you need to get into Engineering 101. Study because studying is cool. Learning shit is cool. Usually it’s the shit not on the syllabus that’s the coolest. Study that shit.

Your teachers might encourage you otherwise. They’ll say shit like: This is important. Learn this. Memorise that.

Take what they say on board, and then throw it over the deck if it doesn’t fit your ship’s style. Studying actually is fun if you are doing it for yourself. If you’re doing it to learn something new, to expand your mind in depth and breadth, it can be cool.

And if studying is not really your thing, and you know that for sure, which you certainly don’t, then do something different. Dance. Sing. Draw. Make shit with other shit, like bricks and wood and wires. Run. Float. Fly. Whatever. It’s your life – remember?

Ultimately, again, the key to dealing with exams is chilling the fuckk out.

But more importantly, if you form this pattern now – work, stress, exams, work, stress, exams – it’ll haunt you forever.

Learn, right now, to take life lightly. Nothing’s really that important. No – not even exams. Nothing. Living is what’s important. Screw exams. Fulfillment isn’t measured on paper. Social success won’t fulfil you. That shit’s empty.

Appreciate the small things, and the exams – the ends of your life – won’t matter so much. Instead they’ll turn into beginnings. And from there, you can…

Uncle nyams child
392 marks kcpe thank you lord leo nalala ndani ya mtungi

@poyoloko nunulia mtoto zawadi ya maana, badala ya kulala ndani ya mtungi… nugu hii. Congrat’s tho’…

Badala ya kupeleka mtoto campus afanye umalaya na kuwaste 3 years kombolea yeye acre tano na school fees funza yeye ukulima at the end of 3 years he/she will be better than jamaa graduating from campus.

Hii ni mindset ya mtu hakuenda campus. Degree sio masomo pekee kabuda


:D:D:D unaona three years…watu wa six years tukae wapi

Watu wangapi wako na degrees hii kenya and nothing to show, no income kazi ni kucheza pool mtaani wakisema venye walienda jkuat ama ku. If those guys wangefunzwa income generating skills wangekuwa far much better than kwenda campus kulewa na kutombana. After 3 years most of those guys huwa bongolalas.

Kwenda collage kenya ni upuzi waste six years ukisoma another 4 years ya ku tarmac na si guaranteed utapata kazi.

Nilishangaa saidi one of my team mates graduated in 2017, kijana amejiachilia saidi, ilibidi nimpee kitu ya kufanya. Alidu bachelors of art in political science and IT, alinisho alitafuta job akakosa. Felt so bad, kcse ali manage B plus.

Watoto wangu wote watakua apprentice in my job

Kazi ni mingi sana Kenya hii.

If that is the case mbona kuna high number of unemployment in kenya?

Imagine kama huyo jamaa angeanza workshop yake ama ukulima sahizi angekuwa better.

The unemployed are not thinking outside the box. Jobs ni mingi.

Maybe, maybe not. Kila field ikona opportunities

I’m planning to quit my job I take up gambling full time. I’m too smart to work. And I lack the common sense to do anything ‘meaningful’ with my life. So I’d rather make a shit tone of money and then go to uganda where I can party and shit

:D:D ala!!!

A friend alifanya hio Political Science saa hii yeye ni very powerful DO kwa gova. Tell your friend to keep trying and also ajaribu afanye masters to be ahead of his competitors.

Acre tano wapi? That’s like learning crypto mining. Have you factored in farm inputs, fertilizer, seeds, theft, etc. Because if they dont fully utilize that full 5 acres, akuna profit watatengeneza.