#ThisIsMyStory One Day A Time


He died on the 1st of April. It probably would have been a really bad fool’s joke had I known that day, but I didn’t. Actually none of us did until 3 days later. His phone was off, texts undelivered but you know, there we reasons; phones go off, get stolen switched off no big deal. He died on the couch, his wallet and phone next to each other on the wall unit.

He was my best friend, wing-man millennials would say, but also my cousin. He had a big heart, loud hearty laughter, a definition of life because he brought it. Being the introverted person I am, I didn’t have to talk. He did the talking and I was allowed to just nod and smile. But no one understood my silence and occasional few words than he did. But I let him down, we all let him down.

See, he was bipolar. On the one occasion very excited and bright as they come and on some occasions he was down, hopeless and helpless. And in those days, hewould turn to the bottle, and he would have fun with it, a bit too much. It got worse last year following the loss of his dad, my uncle, a dark curtain fell and he never got past it. We spoke, tried to cheer him up, encouraged him, visited him, i thought he would be fine, but we lost him.

I got a text from my girlfriend, then, “My condolences” on the day she learnt of his death. Never called, didn’t check on me for over a week. I till this day, keep wondering whether I was supposed to expect much, but I felt let down. I feel empty, I keep everything to myself. I can’t stop asking myself what if? Everyone seems to have moved on, I can’t be the only one who suffered the loss, I tell myself. So I look happy, successful.

Actually, I just got promoted yesterday, but alone, nothing makes sense. I now understand what it means to be in a crowd and yet feel so alone. People loose me in conversations, I stare, my mind wonders, it’s weird sometimes.

Taking a day at a time, I just don’t want to have a dark curtain fall in front of me. I will keep hoping.

PS: Sometimes you are going through so much in life all you want is to tell your story to the world without anyone judging you. #ThisIsMyStoryCampaign[I] lets you open up, anonymously, about your struggles & how you deal with them. To take part, send your story to [email protected].

Read more confessions on mystory.markmaish.com[/I]


Valar morghulis

Things of time machine contemplation, the essence of cognitive dissonance. Why those who help cannot be helped is hard to answer.

Mark budaboss,

Nice story. I could criticize it, but I don’t wanna come off as a pessimist.

BTW, uliuma supp ngapi engineering school?

valar dohaeris

:D:D Mimi sikuwahi pata supp! I would go party on a Tuesday night, sit for a CAT on Wednesday morning and score an A


Eish! There really are geniuses walking among us.

Mimi supps huniandama hadi nimekuwa regular kwa exams office.

Hio isikushtuwe. Anza biashara on the side ndio ukuwe established before graduation. Most of those getting A’s in class will end up working for Consulting firm hapo Westy earning 25k per month.

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.

I’m a mechie.

Hahaha sawa…What pecialization?