Jana i was at work (driving up and down as per kawa!) and then it occurred to me that it was my fathers birthday. Now my dad is exactly 30 years older than i am but his birth date could be any day that year because he was born in a time of strife and instability in Kenya and birthdays were not high on the agenda when freedom from the mzungu was a bigger priority. Anyway,i went back home to my flat that i have rented out since the big "separation" from my wife and for some reason i started going through this suitcase that i havent opened for years since we moved to our family home.
It has all my personal stuff that i bring back from Kenya everytime i visit and its even got that African smell (kama moshi) . I always try to avoid this ka-suitcase because it just gives me nolstagia and being alone away from my estranged wife i should have known better than to go in there.
As i opened it i noticed this Kodak photo folder kinda thing that i know holds all my childhood photos that my mum put together the last i was back home.In it there was all my ridiculous photos from high school,and all other sort of photo you would expect to find from your childhood that your mum would have saved.
But among all the photos i saw,one struck me the most and put everything in perspective as far as my present marital situation is at the moment:
I pulled out a photo of me and my father at my Confirmation.(all catholics know what im talking about),that ceremony that allows you to finally eat the bread at church every sunday or be it after a long que!
I must have been 7 or 8 when that picha was taken and there i was grinning and wearing some ridiculous “3 piece suit” that must have cost my parents a fortune and my dad was standing behind me and if pictures speak a thousand words,he was about to hug me but couldnt,because he was an "African"! This picture made me think!: In the picture,my dad is exactly the same age as i am now. In the picture,i am the same age as my son is NOW! In the picture,my dad is going to have this picture taken,drive me,my brother and sisters back to a home that he and my mum have made for all of us! In this picture,my dad and mum have their fair share of relationship squabbles that i know about,but they always seem to work things out,and for we ,their childrens sake,they put their differences aside on a special day like this!
In this picture,i see a father who never walked away. I see a man who through all challenges and faults of his own making or otherwise,stood by his FAMILY!
I see a man that i admire and want to be.
I see a man that i am not.A real man who overcame the stress,shame,and anything in-between to see to it that a man his age under the same circumstances as he was at that age,became a HERO,for me,at the same age.
Today,i want to be a hero for my son and for all my children.
I will keep you posted listers/Talkers.
Pray for me.
This is an image of me at my lightbulb moment,driving down a deserted road.[ATTACH=full]2236[/ATTACH]
nice countryside; the previous generation always seemed to soldier on through difficulty and maintain their relationships; dont know what happened to us, I think the acronym YOLO is what has brought all the difference
Thats why im asking for your prayers because i have to get my shit back together with my wife. Some things in life just dont happen!especially when you believe and pray to God. Why did i have too discover this?! Hii ni inspiration kutoka juu.
God doesn`t do Miracles,He inspires miracles to manifest in men so that they can be testified as truth.
Hii ni a miracle moment for me in my life.Kazi sasa ni kuskiza bibi…
Kabuda braza, ni vizuri umeona shida zako ziko wapi na unajaribu kujisort, lakini ile advice yote umepewa both here and in klost na bado hujafaulu, sorry to say this lakini i think huwezi saidika, anyway kila la heri
Size buda.Maybe this marriage business was not meant for all of us but i will die happy knowing that i gave it my all but still came short. Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
I said it on klost and will repeat it here again.Any person dumb enough to post their relationship problems in a forum like this deserve what they are going through(if at all it’s true).Am married and like in all normal marriages, I go through my fair share of tribulations but have never even once posted on social media any of it.You are the kind of people who write to Dr Kitoto or call Maina Kageni for advice.Enough said.