This is Guka - Fossil, Er, Er, Er Forensic Files & Other Murder Documentaries

[FieldMarshal_CouchP]

I think I am becoming a serial killer, at nearly 70.

During my hospitalisation at St Georges Ward Bed G11A, I watched every cereal! killer documentary on Youtube, including from Canada’s CBS Fifth Estate on my laptop. ALL OF THEM!

Now, I am half-way through the incredibly fascinating FBI Files and the incredibly watchable Forensic Files.

What I have learned? Next time you kill somebody immediately burn the clothes you are wearing. Cut the body up into small pieces and throw them randomly into a waterbody. Burn down the crime scene. Tell nobody, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. Use succinylcholine because it cannot be found post-mortem after a few hours, or a teaspoon of antifreeze each morning if you have four years. Never ever buy killing tools in your name or using your Visa card.

And then I remembered, this is Kenya.

All you need is money and you can basically kill anybody you want and bribe your way out, as the local police boss says: “My mboys will reave no stone untouched antihill we cash up to the papetreta of this mada!”

Too much education can be useless.

[Mutesa_II]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

I think I am becoming a serial killer, at nearly 70.

During my hospitalisation at St Georges Ward Bed G11A, I watched every cereal! killer documentary on Youtube, including from Canada’s CBS Fifth Estate on my laptop. ALL OF THEM!

Now, I am half-way through the incredibly fascinating FBI Files and the incredibly watchable Forensic Files.

What I have learned? Next time you kill somebody immediately burn the clothes you are wearing. Cut the body up into small pieces and throw them randomly into a waterbody. Burn down the crime scene. Tell nobody, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. Use succinylcholine because it cannot be found post-mortem after a few hours, or a teaspoon of antifreeze each morning if you have four years. Never ever buy killing tools in your name or using your Visa card.

And then I remembered, this is Kenya.

All you need is money and you can basically kill anybody you want and bribe your way out, as the local police boss says: “My mboys will reave no stone untouched antihill we cash up to the papetreta of this mada!”

Too much education can be useless.

Hii ni Kaswende ya ubongo inakumaliza Githee!

[Doc_Oga]

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[Polmos]

Most of your threads are about death.Look for something else to watch on youtube like pranks,funny videos,latest innovations etc that can take your mind away from such thoughts.Otherwise you will start murdering people.

[Polmos]

@Doc Oga

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You can imagine that is him.He is thinking how he will cut the body in pieces and throw it in waterbody and burn his clothes and evidence.

[oboho]

@Polmos

Most of your threads are about death.

The end is nigh

[mkiawakati96]

Unless you’re a cannibal why kill another human being… You kill what you will eat.

[123tokambio]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

During my hospitalisation at St Georges Ward Bed G11A, .

Oh really… Wacha nibonge na jamaa pale IT…

[Kaffir]

Do you know how hard it is to get rid of a body ? Have you ever had the misfortune of picking up a blacked out friend ?
Hio kitu hauwezi toboa , forget the movie shit of rolling body in a carpet and dumping it in car boot ,
2. I think the killing bit is easy ,what comes next needs some cast iron insides ! chopping a bloke and having his shit all over ! wachana na mambo ya dexter hio kazi sio rahisi !!

Not that I have done any of that shit !!!

[Capitan]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

at St Georges Ward Bed

…of course…

[Dunga_Unuse]

You were brought up badly.

[Nattydread]

Uliniambukiza. I watched several episodes yesterday. For me, the revelation was how violent America really is and how depraved some human beings can be.

[IsMundu]

@Nattydread

Uliniambukiza. I watched several episodes yesterday. For me, the revelation was how violent America really is and how depraved some human beings can be.

Land of psychos!!

[ladyp]

@Nattydread

Uliniambukiza. I watched several episodes yesterday. For me, the revelation was how violent America really is and how depraved some human beings can be.

There is a channel called Investigative channel in States manze let me tell you…iko na all…I mean all types of shows about murder: Deadly women, Fear thy neighbor, dateline, 48 hours murder blah blah blah u cannot keep up!! It’s like surreal!!! Some of the stories manze just completely unbelievable! but all true life stories. This world is so dark…so so dark wah!
Couch, you are not alone watching such shows…just don’t watch alone lol

[system]

@FieldMarshal CouchP

I think I am becoming a serial killer, at nearly 70.

During my hospitalisation at St Georges Ward Bed G11A, I watched every cereal! killer documentary on Youtube, including from Canada’s CBS Fifth Estate on my laptop. ALL OF THEM!

Now, I am half-way through the incredibly fascinating FBI Files and the incredibly watchable Forensic Files.

What I have learned? Next time you kill somebody immediately burn the clothes you are wearing. Cut the body up into small pieces and throw them randomly into a waterbody. Burn down the crime scene. Tell nobody, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. Use succinylcholine because it cannot be found post-mortem after a few hours, or a teaspoon of antifreeze each morning if you have four years. Never ever buy killing tools in your name or using your Visa card.

And then I remembered, this is Kenya.

All you need is money and you can basically kill anybody you want and bribe your way out, as the local police boss says: “My mboys will reave no stone untouched antihill we cash up to the papetreta of this mada!”

Too much education can be useless.

Good , Kenyans have a job for you we have politicians we would like taken care of .Advise us on the way forward .