things i would love to forget

wonderful_wonder · August 10, 2015, 2:48pm

yaani kuna vitu in life mtu huwish asahau but…its hard to forget.

when i was young ile age a class 8,dressing and hair style was everything,wearing a inner-wear was compulsory and we thought it was a big swag…one time i bought a red one,come Sunday i wore my “Y”,a white pair of jeans a black t shirt and a white unbuttoned shirt…i felt good,i looked good…or i thought i looked good.since our nearest shopping center was “home”,we went {with a couple of my classmate} to a distance town called Othaya,one after the other we got ladies,we took them far from town hoping to lay them kwa majani chai ama kichakani…at around 5pm,the heavens opened up,wacha mavua inyeshe…you know ile ya come and see,luckily or unluckily,my gotha ilikuwa intoa rangi,within 30 minutes,my “white trouser” had a red patch from waist downwards…the more it rained,the more it got red…i was so embarrassed, “my chick” did not want anything to do with me,i looked funny,and of course everyone knew ni inner-wear inatoa rangi…i was so embarrassed walking home,i had to hid mpaka giza liingie

2,i was in form two,i got a kachick from a different place…like 15kms from home,she was beautiful,loving,virgin,intelligent…or i thought so,what i did not know is that the gal had a bad cv in the village,she used men for cash then kanakataa na mzigo…also the dad was very harsh…one day,innocently,i went mpaka home kwao,i met the mum and the dad,we had a short time with her and then i joined the dad kufeed kuku,since then i used visit them twice or thrice in a week,vijana wakona kuna mwewe around,wacha one sunday kitu 1.30 nipate maboys wakiningonja,they insulted me,two hot slaps,then nikavuliwa trouser na ngotha,shirt ,nikabaki na viatu vest na socks teke moja ya rasa nikatoka nduki…God,mchana,i wish i never i met jane wamiti coz ile aibu niliona…i would love to forget it

system · August 10, 2015, 3:05pm

Nimesoma yote but I would love to forget this listing

kalel · August 10, 2015, 3:08pm

You know what else you apparently forgot…grammar[ATTACH=full]11715[/ATTACH]

aviator · August 10, 2015, 3:13pm

Thank God you are a man, otherwise we would have said unanyesha.
Did you ever meet (and hopefully, lay) Jane?

anon18059438 · August 10, 2015, 3:22pm

Ungevaa Wonder bra

Purr_27 · August 10, 2015, 3:33pm

Ha ha ha …

chalky_white · August 10, 2015, 3:43pm

Kuna Talker flani niliona amekuita wonderfool wonder.

Rum · August 10, 2015, 3:56pm

Hehe napitia tuo_O

Saka · August 10, 2015, 3:59pm

:D:D:D

mundu_mulosi · August 10, 2015, 4:11pm

Na huyo talker si @chalky white.

kawambui · August 10, 2015, 4:30pm

this is what donkey meat does to humans who used to be perfect.
dont worry about the grammar nazis.

gashwin · August 10, 2015, 4:51pm

at least ungesema mavua yanyeshe…

ION- The price we paid!

Web_Dev · August 10, 2015, 4:59pm

Niwekee TL;DR summary.

123tokambio · August 10, 2015, 5:09pm

Sasa wewe Ni Sergeant ama Kopro wa polisi? Ulirudi kutafuta hao vijana to revenge after your graduation from Kiganjo?

Ka-Buda · August 10, 2015, 6:32pm

yaani kuna vitu in life mtu huwish asahau but…its hard to forget.

when i was young ile age a class 8,dressing and hair style was everything,wearing a inner-wear was compulsory and we thought it was a big swag…one time i bought a red one,come Sunday i wore my “Y”,a white pair of jeans a black t shirt and a white unbuttoned shirt…i felt good,i looked good…or i thought i looked good.since our nearest shopping center was “home”,we went {with a couple of my classmate} to a distance town called Othaya,one after the other we got ladies,we took them far from town hoping to lay them kwa majani chai ama kichakani…at around 5pm,the heavens opened up,wacha mavua inyeshe…you know ile ya come and see,luckily or unluckily,my gotha ilikuwa intoa rangi,within 30 minutes,my “white trouser” had a red patch from waist downwards…the more it rained,the more it got red…i was so embarrassed, “my chick” did not want anything to do with me,i looked funny,and of course everyone knew ni inner-wear inatoa rangi…i was so embarrassed walking home,i had to hid mpaka giza liingie

2,i was in form two,i got a kachick from a different place…like 15kms from home,she was beautiful,loving,virgin,intelligent…or i thought so,what i did not know is that the gal had a bad cv in the village,she used men for cash then kanakataa na mzigo…also the dad was very harsh…one day,innocently,i went mpaka home kwao,i met the mum and the dad,we had a short time with her and then i joined the dad kufeed kuku,since then i used visit them twice or thrice in a week,vijana wakona kuna mwewe around,wacha one sunday kitu 1.30 nipate maboys wakiningonja,they insulted me,two hot slaps,then nikavuliwa trouser na ngotha,shirt ,nikabaki na viatu vest na socks teke moja ya rasa nikatoka nduki…God,mchana,i wish i never i met jane wamiti coz ile aibu niliona…i would love to forget it

1.)
I was in class 7 and my journey to school involved taking 2 buses (Kenya Bus and a Ma3) to and from school but me and my homies had dicovered that the “Nyayo Bus” NYS buses did the same journey bila connections for the mere price of 1 bob!
So one day i was left on my own waiting for the bus at the bus stop and i had bought kashata and maembe pilipili with all my money save for the 1 bob for the Nyayo bus home.
Alafu the bus didnt show up and so i decided to take the last Kenya Bus with my 1 bob. When it came for my turn to face the conductor nikaanza kulia ati niko tu na 1 bob (KBS was 2 bob) and the Fucker stopped the bus ati tumezoea kucheza na yeye. Now the Bus has come to a stop in the middle of nowhere and i am the centre of attention and i am crying not to be shukishwad kwa giza. Yaani mimi ndiyo "Starring" as we used to say in the day.... Anyway,the passangers started getting agitated and a few women who i recognised as my mums friends started raising the 1 bob for me purely because they wanted to go home But not before a few of them warned me ati “Watanisema”
That was a moment i will never forget and it is was a sticky situation that i could not see a way out of …Lakini this things make you know that “Iko Nuru Gizani!”

2.)
Still on my commute to school.
The matatus never liked taking on school kids so the trick to get into the bus was to pretend that any of the grown up passangers was your parent and then yo would get between them when they sat down and many especially women always pretended to be their kid and they would even help carry your bag ama Lunch box while you stood between them as they sat.
Siku moja nikalala and i almost got “pitishwad” and so ias i hurriedly got of the ma3,nikasahau kuchukua Lunch box yangu from the woman who was holding it for me.
But as i alighted she saw me and beckoned me from the Ma3`s window ati “wewe,chukua lunch-box yako!”
Unlucky for me the Ma3 was speeding away and so the woman had no choice but to hurl the Lunch box out of the window and this got the attention of aal the other school kids that were at the bus stop and to my dismay; i was carrying Ugali and skuma for lunch that day and as the lunch box hit the tarmac all we all saw was 2 balls (one of ugali the other of skuma ) rolling out of the lunch box and all the kids jeered and cheered me on as i embarrassingly ran after what was left in my lunch-box!
I remember breaking down and crying in shame as all the kids laughed at me for having ugali for lunch but a lady passerby held me and told me to ignore them…
I have never felt so humiliated in my life…

kermit · August 10, 2015, 6:53pm

1.)
I was in class 7 and my journey to school involved taking 2 buses (Kenya Bus and a Ma3) to and from school but me and my homies had dicovered that the “Nyayo Bus” NYS buses did the same journey bila connections for the mere price of 1 bob!
So one day i was left on my own waiting for the bus at the bus stop and i had bought kashata and maembe pilipili with all my money save for the 1 bob for the Nyayo bus home.
Alafu the bus didnt show up and so i decided to take the last Kenya Bus with my 1 bob. When it came for my turn to face the conductor nikaanza kulia ati niko tu na 1 bob (KBS was 2 bob) and the Fucker stopped the bus ati tumezoea kucheza na yeye. Now the Bus has come to a stop in the middle of nowhere and i am the centre of attention and i am crying not to be shukishwad kwa giza. Yaani mimi ndiyo "Starring" as we used to say in the day.... Anyway,the passangers started getting agitated and a few women who i recognised as my mums friends started raising the 1 bob for me purely because they wanted to go home But not before a few of them warned me ati “Watanisema”
That was a moment i will never forget and it is was a sticky situation that i could not see a way out of …Lakini this things make you know that “Iko Nuru Gizani!”

2.)
Still on my commute to school.
The matatus never liked taking on school kids so the trick to get into the bus was to pretend that any of the grown up passangers was your parent and then yo would get between them when they sat down and many especially women always pretended to be their kid and they would even help carry your bag ama Lunch box while you stood between them as they sat.
Siku moja nikalala and i almost got “pitishwad” and so ias i hurriedly got of the ma3,nikasahau kuchukua Lunch box yangu from the woman who was holding it for me.
But as i alighted she saw me and beckoned me from the Ma3`s window ati “wewe,chukua lunch-box yako!”
Unlucky for me the Ma3 was speeding away and so the woman had no choice but to hurl the Lunch box out of the window and this got the attention of aal the other school kids that were at the bus stop and to my dismay; i was carrying Ugali and skuma for lunch that day and as the lunch box hit the tarmac all we all saw was 2 balls (one of ugali the other of skuma ) rolling out of the lunch box and all the kids jeered and cheered me on as i embarrassingly ran after what was left in my lunch-box!
I remember breaking down and crying in shame as all the kids laughed at me for having ugali for lunch but a lady passerby held me and told me to ignore them…
I have never felt so humiliated in my life…

na si umeona mengi babaa. ningekua msuss ningekurushia rao kadhaa za greasebox

Purr_27 · August 10, 2015, 7:01pm

1.)
I was in class 7 and my journey to school involved taking 2 buses (Kenya Bus and a Ma3) to and from school but me and my homies had dicovered that the “Nyayo Bus” NYS buses did the same journey bila connections for the mere price of 1 bob!
So one day i was left on my own waiting for the bus at the bus stop and i had bought kashata and maembe pilipili with all my money save for the 1 bob for the Nyayo bus home.
Alafu the bus didnt show up and so i decided to take the last Kenya Bus with my 1 bob. When it came for my turn to face the conductor nikaanza kulia ati niko tu na 1 bob (KBS was 2 bob) and the Fucker stopped the bus ati tumezoea kucheza na yeye. Now the Bus has come to a stop in the middle of nowhere and i am the centre of attention and i am crying not to be shukishwad kwa giza. Yaani mimi ndiyo "Starring" as we used to say in the day.... Anyway,the passangers started getting agitated and a few women who i recognised as my mums friends started raising the 1 bob for me purely because they wanted to go home But not before a few of them warned me ati “Watanisema”
That was a moment i will never forget and it is was a sticky situation that i could not see a way out of …Lakini this things make you know that “Iko Nuru Gizani!”

2.)
Still on my commute to school.
The matatus never liked taking on school kids so the trick to get into the bus was to pretend that any of the grown up passangers was your parent and then yo would get between them when they sat down and many especially women always pretended to be their kid and they would even help carry your bag ama Lunch box while you stood between them as they sat.
Siku moja nikalala and i almost got “pitishwad” and so ias i hurriedly got of the ma3,nikasahau kuchukua Lunch box yangu from the woman who was holding it for me.
But as i alighted she saw me and beckoned me from the Ma3`s window ati “wewe,chukua lunch-box yako!”
Unlucky for me the Ma3 was speeding away and so the woman had no choice but to hurl the Lunch box out of the window and this got the attention of aal the other school kids that were at the bus stop and to my dismay; i was carrying Ugali and skuma for lunch that day and as the lunch box hit the tarmac all we all saw was 2 balls (one of ugali the other of skuma ) rolling out of the lunch box and all the kids jeered and cheered me on as i embarrassingly ran after what was left in my lunch-box!
I remember breaking down and crying in shame as all the kids laughed at me for having ugali for lunch but a lady passerby held me and told me to ignore them…
I have never felt so humiliated in my life…

Woishe but your second story was a bit funny…

123tokambio · August 10, 2015, 7:16pm

[ATTACH=full]11738[/ATTACH]

WuTang · August 10, 2015, 7:44pm

Hehehehee. Nice childhood hekayas.

le_scumbag · August 10, 2015, 10:31pm

1.)
I was in class 7 and my journey to school involved taking 2 buses (Kenya Bus and a Ma3) to and from school but me and my homies had dicovered that the “Nyayo Bus” NYS buses did the same journey bila connections for the mere price of 1 bob!
So one day i was left on my own waiting for the bus at the bus stop and i had bought kashata and maembe pilipili with all my money save for the 1 bob for the Nyayo bus home.
Alafu the bus didnt show up and so i decided to take the last Kenya Bus with my 1 bob. When it came for my turn to face the conductor nikaanza kulia ati niko tu na 1 bob (KBS was 2 bob) and the Fucker stopped the bus ati tumezoea kucheza na yeye. Now the Bus has come to a stop in the middle of nowhere and i am the centre of attention and i am crying not to be shukishwad kwa giza. Yaani mimi ndiyo "Starring" as we used to say in the day.... Anyway,the passangers started getting agitated and a few women who i recognised as my mums friends started raising the 1 bob for me purely because they wanted to go home But not before a few of them warned me ati “Watanisema”
That was a moment i will never forget and it is was a sticky situation that i could not see a way out of …Lakini this things make you know that “Iko Nuru Gizani!”

2.)
Still on my commute to school.
The matatus never liked taking on school kids so the trick to get into the bus was to pretend that any of the grown up passangers was your parent and then yo would get between them when they sat down and many especially women always pretended to be their kid and they would even help carry your bag ama Lunch box while you stood between them as they sat.
Siku moja nikalala and i almost got “pitishwad” and so ias i hurriedly got of the ma3,nikasahau kuchukua Lunch box yangu from the woman who was holding it for me.
But as i alighted she saw me and beckoned me from the Ma3`s window ati “wewe,chukua lunch-box yako!”
Unlucky for me the Ma3 was speeding away and so the woman had no choice but to hurl the Lunch box out of the window and this got the attention of aal the other school kids that were at the bus stop and to my dismay; i was carrying Ugali and skuma for lunch that day and as the lunch box hit the tarmac all we all saw was 2 balls (one of ugali the other of skuma ) rolling out of the lunch box and all the kids jeered and cheered me on as i embarrassingly ran after what was left in my lunch-box!
I remember breaking down and crying in shame as all the kids laughed at me for having ugali for lunch but a lady passerby held me and told me to ignore them…
I have never felt so humiliated in my life…

I guess now I know you got screwed from early on…the baby mama dramas and all.