the first slice

ok for those expecting a dramatic intro to this hekaya aki poleni am still new to this so just work with hii hapa ya zamani za kale. it works my guess…
…it should …
…lenga hiyo …

once upon a time, back in may 2011. a ninja was scheduled to join campus pale KU main campus after a long wait that is 2 years or was it less am not sure but i think its close to it coz tulimada high school '09 alafu hiyo time yote ilikua ni kumaintain mtaa ukingoja letter from uni ya admission .

Enyewe it was a long wait coz nakumbuka nilimaintain mtaa hadi nikafanya job flani pale kericho ya ufala close to a year or so i cant recall …
So the reason why we joined this particular time is coz the now deputy prezo Rutode was a cabinet secretary wa education ama was it called minister wa education back then . The ninja(ruto) after being shifted from ministry of agriculture juu ya ile scandal ya mahindi akakuja education na psyche mob yaani na reforms.
one of them was the so caled tri-sem.
so thats why the farmer sasa was lucky enough to be selected among those to join the may intake sasa.

Ok , maisha pale ku was good compared to ya pale 035 juu obviously i was away from home plus its nairobi yoh…
when i say Nairobi yoh… i mean it coz this was actually a dream come true like for real. to start with mkulima hakua amewahi enda past nakuru so ilikua a major progress in life ata ilinipatia bragging rights mtaa nikiongelea about the big city. yaani sasa after clossing kwa kila meeting mkulima alikua anawachiwa jukwaa aongelee ‘nai’ as they call it mpaka swag pia nilichocha nayo. mara ooh magari ni mob huko, oooh afya center sijui parliament building… man #smh

Sasa hii KU nilijoin with the ownership of a second hand phone, kaNokia flani kanaitwa Nokia 2730. I was the boss yoh … hii simu ilikua na fast internet speeds kubrowse facebook na kenyalist . Yes i used to be a member hiyo time msee na venye nilibump into that Village sijui nilijipata nimesign up and i was in.
Facebook hiyo time was the bomb aside the 2go thing , i was a cheeky bastard who used to post almost everything aisee from morning to evening. Yaani saa hii niiangalianga memories ya those days natamani niingie time portal i slap me self soo hard for the stupid things i wrote .
i know most of you can relate to this…

During the time i used to get some likes from one or two or three on my posts hapo fb. Mostly zilikua za wasee we were with in highschool but kulikua na kadame ama sijui kalikua kamatha or both… couldnt tell coz she didnt have a profile pic for reasons i do not know. All i know is i checked her profile, she was from ‘nai’ as they called it specifically living in hurlingham.

Ann was her name.

Mkulima before joining campo alikua amejipiga intro to the lady and recognized the effort she did in hitting the like button in every post i put up. btw zingine ata hazikua zinamake sense for real. no one cared anyway coz few were connected to this blue website.

Now that i was in nai i did hit her inbox and informed her that nimewasili nai and that she should come visit…
Alikubali na before that alinipatia number yake so that we connect through calls. Calling btw was better than texting those days hii kitu inaitwa free text wasnt available yet. if i can recal ilikua 3bob per text na 8bob calling per minute…

mkulima kupewa number sikukawia i did call her just to listen to her voice for the first time. actually i felt like a celebrity talking to her fan… hehe … i guess she really was my fan coz alikua consistent with them likes pale blue website.





“its me kuzniac”

'ooh … sema niambie…

and the convo went on like that …plain talk yaani hakuna chocha .
mkulima hakua anajua hii maneno ata … yaani fresh from the farm.

we did talk for some time during my stay in campo time nikiwa na credo i used to call her kumjulia hali tu. Slices wasnt in my mind ata sikua najua ninini btw ilikua story tu kama hekaya… in short i was a virgin ama what do you call the male version of it?

Ann sounded superb via the phone and this made me wanna see her in person kapsaa. i wanted to see this chic venye anakaa, so i did invite her to come visit KU. she did agree to come but alisema akiget time she would come .

mimi huyo nimechangamka sijui kwanini but it was and always exiting meeting a person for the first time especially the opposite sex. all in all i had to prepare for the day she will decide to come.

Hiyo time btw i …

maliza hekaya kwanza

pumbavu jinga puga chieeth


Hekaya iko chonjo… Maliza hekaya mzito

@Kuzniac wacha uppuss maliza hekaya kabka upatwe na jeshi la KuResist. Ama wee ni mmoja wao?

#resist #resist #resist

Hekaya si mbaya lakini rusungu sio kama ya mtu ya univasity.

Kijana bado una ukulima based on your suspense

We mkulima acha ushamba. Maliza hekaya

Maliza hekaya ngamia

Maliza hehaya kumbaff


Malisa hekaya pumbavu sana

Coomernioko. Maliza hekaya

Spelling yako pia sio ya University omwami, rekebisha Kabla @gashwin hajafika.

Cheza Chini afisaa

So, you never had your first slice… Good. Don’t rush, no big deal.

I did read but I was left hanging.

cc tulikua tunaiita “kuhutithania tuthugumi”