Ten unorthodox statements we should avoid in funerals

1.‘‘Brother Wafula fought a great battle and he has finally won the race…’’ a minute please! meaning those who have been sick for the same period of time and finally got well/healed lost the race? is death an award that individuals who have ostensibly succumbed to illness given as a provisional recognition for their hard work?

  1. ‘‘May the almighty Lord place the soul of Brother Kamau in eternal peace…’’ Whether you are a cleric consigned to genuine orthodoxy or orthopraxy or a priest enslaved in rings of unnecessary dogmas and exorcism, you must first know that God doesnt work on instructions and he is at liberty to destine every soul to a place he deems fit. Take an example of Muriuki Wa Gatheru, a robber who was shot by police during a botched robbery attempt. This person killed, maimed and subjected so many people to torture and inhumane acts. Muriuki himself seldomly valued the sanctity of life and here you are duping God to place his soul in eternal peace.

3.‘‘Those whom the deceased owed any debt or those who owed him any amount to come foward and set him free before he is laid to rest…’’ if these people failed to pay him while he was alive, how sure are you that they will do the same when he is dead?

4.‘‘Here at our home, we usually don’t accept offerings and harrambees during funeral,God has blessed us and we dont intend to abuse his favours and more importantly by exposing the poor mourners to economic siberia …’’ it sounds ethically and morally dysfunctional to declare a family’s financial capability at such a solemn function. You need to know that that pastor presiding over the occasion might nnot be having even a cent in his pocket.

5.‘‘Now I will request mama Penina, the wife of the deceased to say one two three about her deceased husband because time is not on our side…’’ one two three …? , these people have lived for thirty years and you want it to be summarized in three minutes. you stupendously spend four hours saying nonsense and you want her to talk sense in three minutes.

6.‘‘I would like to recognize the prescence of Prof Oguok Ong’ech , the chairman of world Association of Laparosodic Surgeon, Human Anatomy and Genital Bisection science, he was a good friend of our deceased brother Dr. Ephantus Ojuok who as you all know untill his demise was the chair of the department of surgery , faculty of science…’’ what we need to unanimously agree is that funeral is not an elite’s symposium or an intellectual’s exhibition.

7.‘‘Before I hand over the program to the church, I would like to affirm that in this Opuge’s family we have our own way of doing things and the fact that our dear brother Timothy has been promoted to glorious prominence does not mean that his wife and children will be whitted to desperate orphans. we will step in and distinctively fill the gap…’’ Many people say this, but few live to their words.

… To be continued.

so true kwanza hyo ya 1,2 n three…