Say a girl is getting married and she’s from single mom family since age 3,the dad paid dowry asked for in full but 3 years down the line, he left the union and did not go back to collect his dowry from the in laws as a sign of dissolving the union, is it in order for him the dead beat dad to take the dowry paid for his daughter? Yet he contributed nothing to the girl’s upbringing.
Dowry is cultural, so in such a case you follow the guidelines outlined in the concerned culture. If the culture demand he gets something, then let him get something, if not, let him go drying.
In most Bantu cultures, kama ulitoa mahari, una ruhusa ya kupokea.
It’s like another interesting scenario:
If a parent abandons their child when they were young (either father or mother), and the child makes it, should the child help out the aging parent who left them?
Vengeance says no, but Christianity is HEAVY on forgiveness. God forgives us BECAUSE we forgive, and this would be the dilemma if the abandoned child is now a practicing Christian
He is the girl’s father. Nothing will ever change that fact. Not everyone has an archaic materialistic mindset like yours. Mahali lazima ipewe Baba mzazi, sio Baba wa kambo wa rebound who is out to enjoy the real dad’s property (fully purchased and paid for house) . You have no idea how toxic the wife was for him to have left.
Sasa wewe unauliza ya nini na hakuna mtu anaweza kulipia dowry??
Baba ya mtoto remains baba ya mtoto.. Kwanza sasa kama alishalipa dowry ya huyo kunguru mama ya mtoto, he is 100% entitled to his daughter’s dowry.. Na ata akasema msichana haolewi hafai kuolewa
Have you asked the girl how she feels about the whole thing?
Mwanaume kukosana na bibi haimanishi amekosana na mwanawe.
Waketi chini ni wa discus…as much as sisi ni waafrika tuna mila…siku hizi watu wana compromise kiasi ku save face…its about the future not the past…kwani watu huweka grudge for how long…agree to disagree na kila mtu aendelee na maisha.
Mzichi na Agwambo wameongea kama Wazee wa maana…Baba ni baba…na kama Baba alitimiza akalipia Mama msichana mahari…huyo buda pia adungwe something.
A tricky balance since he did not help raise her. Were they in touch over the years? mzazi siyo just sperm donating, mzazi ni kulea. May’be she has done well for herself and he wants in on the action.
But question is… how does she feel about it? just look at Kamotho’s children. They still love him despite what he has put them thru. Besides his ruracio was never returned meaning the ties are there customarily.
BTW usisahau ku-log out of Crime Scenes ukuje huko tonight. The older kids will be talking about what they saw the young kids going thru in Delila’s hands. I hope Child Protection Officers will be tuning in.
Venye watu wanasema huko juu.
A compromise can be made,like formally give the father something…then baadaye hapo Kando mama Naye account inastuka… something like that
Dowry is a cultural relic of a bygone era paid by the superstitious who are afraid of being cursed by long dead ancestors.
It makes marriage a chattel acquisition exercise.
Down with dowry. Come we stay.