It is a bit funny that even a ‘last-resort’ self-assigned duty like suicide can be an uphill task, prone to failure.
The most common methods of suicide among the 3rd world bonobos who don’t own guns are hanging, poisoning and carbon monoxide poisoning.

Out of the 3, suicide by hanging has the highest mortality rate however the downsides are eminent: 15 - 20 sec of wriggling and pain which seem to last an eternity and brain damage occurring between 2 to 10 minutes. In case you are discovered & rescued within the window period, it is mission failed for you and you become a living cabbage: a liabilty to you family.

Suicide by overdose is equally be as painful to a suicide perpetrator and in the event he/ she is rescued in time, permanent organ failure is inevitable.

Lastly carbon monoxide poisoning; where a ninja lights a jiko and cheats life as he pretends to sleep, has similar setbacks to hanging. If saved before 10 minutes, lo and behold a cabbage you become.

It definitely beats sense why anyone would want to commit suicide.
The price of a kidney in the Kenyan black market is around 13mil…why not sell one of your kidneys, become a millionare, piga sherehe like nonsenz alafu reconsider that suicide decision afterwards. Just thinking…

That kidney of your’s, how is it, function-wise?

Uko na pesa kijana…I have an extra .38 …leta mia moja

Kidney unauza wapi niende kesho?

I am not the subject of this piece you nincompoop

Na mbona Mimi sioni shida ya burukenge ikitaka kuondokea … by the time u consider suicide ur prolly already one miserable ninja that needs to go anyway.

You tried yourself ndo useme ni uchungu

Nope, survivors’ accounts.

We fanya kazi kama wanaume wenzako

Are you insinuating that suicide by gunshot is easier? Some also shoot themselves and live to tell the tale, with horrible disfigurements to boot. Even those who blow off their entire heads using a shotgun don’t die immediately, just like a chicken that continues running after having its head cut off. Carbon monoxide is the best.

Fanya kama ouko,break yua leg,incinerate yuaselefu then park a .45 in you brain pan. Ultimate suicide

Where is the 13mil? I have already marked where to cut and take it.

You seem to be treading along the same lines with this fellow :smiley:


Tag me along,13 million alafu nioperate kama kende mosi @mulosi:smiley:

@Pomegranates ungezaliwa tu nzi.
And most of this village wangekuwa mavi tu, uzikule.

The extent to which you mock mental health problems, yet nyie mko na the same problem is exhilarating. If you do a simple assessment, more than half this village has mood, anxiety or compulsive disorders. Fools

We uza kidney ghaseeer…wacha mudomo mingi buuanaa :smiley:

Valid points chief…but in case they save you before the 10-min mark upande wa CO, you may live to tell the tape…or far worse become a cabbage.