Have you ever tried to climb a waitress you found in a bar? She tells you to wait she finish her shift?
My three attempts failed miserably and from that, I saided even if what, I will never ever attempt again.
Many years ago, I was drinking at Hb Pub Umo when I spotted a sun waitress. I sweared to myself that I will make her bean tired even if what.
The first step if you want to make a good bean tired fast is to make an impression. Impression includes making the person know that you have deep pockets. A person who has deep pockets buys to buy. I didn’t have even what, only money to buy myself 5 dogogios.
I called Theuri and borrowed him 5k to do something urgent. Theuri never fails me.
There there, I started to dirty the table to dirty.
Since I had already telled her my intention and she had saided no problem, she would occasionally come and tell me in ear “nibaiye brack ice babe”
I would say she be selled and it would be added on my bill.
on looking at my bill, I had been stolen to be stolen but since I didn’t want to jeopardize my bean tiring mission I kept quiet, although I was being pained in heart to be pained.
She had telled me that by midnight, she would be done because all customers would have left by then coz it was a weekday.
I had saided that that was a good time because I only last 9 secs, would have enough time to go home before 1.
As time would go by, 5 customers would leave then another 3 would enter. Some drunk AF like Wanjohi SNR, others sober.
The new customers would hurt me so bad as if it was my money they were drinking.
By 1, there were handfuls of drunks who I regarded as fools for drinking on a weekday as if it was a weekend.
By 3, the baggers were still drinking. Mine had reached throat.
I heart, I would walk to each table and profile them. In heart I would tell one "you fool, why are you wasting money on akoho. Don’t you have a PM who wants her bean made tired?
I would walk to the next in heart and say "you because you are written somewhere you steal so you have alot of money to drink until 3, you will go to Satan "
I would walk to the next and in heart say "you miserably mf , because you have no hope in life, you think you should share your woes with us who want to make progress? Can’t you just say it’s enough for today you go home and suffer alone?
Then to next "see your table has only 1 beer. it means you dont want to go home to your quarrelsome PM. Work hard like other men who instead of eating njaro at bars are eating yellow yellows at Airbnb or at apartments they have rented them at Mirema. Work hard bro. In the meantime, can’t you wake up and go home ?
By 4, only 3 customers were there.
She had telled me that when she finished, she would alert me to go out and wait for her outside the gate so that she is not seen going with a customer, as if her tiita was of HB.
I saided I go check on her since it was now morning.
At the counter, there was only Mwai and another waiter.
on asking where the sun waiter is, I was telled she just walked out to go home.
I rushed out hoping she was waiting for me.
On removing, she was not there. On calling her no, it was mteja.
Head telled me that I had been played. I reached home at 5Am sober AF. Maybe PM telled herself that I had removed from climbanaring.
Another time we went to Narok for an occasion. It is Theuri who had carried me
The club we were drinking, I spotted a sun waitress.
I borrowed and she said ok.
I asked her where I can sleep. . she saided I book room next building. Rooms were 1k.
I telled Theuri to return alone I will pick matatu tomorrow of that day.
Same same way, when time of leaving arrived, the waitress disappeared and switched her phone off.
In that club, we were like 5 men waiting for her.
I went to that place of room and saided I cant sleep alone. when I asked for refund, I was telled is a lie.
Because of anger, I saided I won’t return keys.
I went until stage at 3am and luckily got those buses from Kisii until Nairobi
I
From that experience, even if what, I cant wait waitress to finish work we go with her to climbana
