Oedipus complex, in psychoanalytic theory, a desire for sexual involvement with the parent of the opposite sex and a concomitant sense of rivalry with the parent of the same sex; a crucial stage in the normal developmental process. Freud attributed the Oedipus complex to children of about the ages three to five. He said the stage usually ended when the child identified with the parent of the same sex and repressed its sexual instincts. If previous relationships with the parents were relatively loving and nontraumatic, and if parental attitudes were neither excessively prohibitive nor excessively stimulating, the stage is passed through harmoniously. In the presence of trauma, however, there occurs an “infantile neurosis” that is an important forerunner of similar reactions during the child’s adult life.
Noma wadau. The place i grew up kuna mninja alioa singomathaa na kipii. Kipii grew up amekuwa akisumbua mathake sana. Beta husband akajitoa akaenda kufanya job outside Nairobi. Kijana ako almost 23 years. Kazi imekuwa ni ulevi na wizi ndogo ndogo. Kuna place alikuwa kibarua. Akivutwa juu ya wizi mother anamtetea anarudi job.
Juzi boy ame enda kwa akavuruga mathake akisema he will kill her. Mother kujifungia kwa bedroom ghasia ilingia jikoni na kubeba gas akaendaaa kuuza.
Don’t be surprised akirudi nyumbani kuitisha food.
Did she rape you son?? Touched you sensitively?? Come clear you are safe with us. Palipo na elders hapaharibiki manenos. You just gotta tell us everything
Ata rent mamake ndio hulipa.
Wamatha ndio hu spoil their sons…unapata kijana anabembelezwa sana hadi anakuwa zuzu
Well here is a news flash for you. Many men can not fulfill the longing for love and companionship.
This is the usual single mother propaganda but you can’t force women to marry you when you are nothing but trouble bcz if she doesn’t she will parentify the child or the child will grow up and become a delinquent. Research clearly shows that what affects children from single mother homes is the turmoil and resulting trauma of the failing relationship between the parents and inconsistent relationships with male figures in their mothers lives. If a single mother adopts a child who has not been through any trauma almost immediately after birth and her dad and her brothers are father figures to the child the child will thrive even when they go looking for their parents they are better able to handle rejection by the biological dad bcz they have a strong sense of self thanks to the drama free, nurturing environment that didn’t interfere with their development stages refer to Eric Erickson developmental stages.
Let me school you bcz it’s obvious that you were not paying attention in your psychology class. Bowen came up with the theory called family systems. At the time there were no substantial single mother families and therefore he was using dysfunctional 2 parent families to do his research.
His observations are as follows, that there are generational patterns that follow families including dysfunction due to addiction.
Secondly Mr Bowen noted that when the marital relationship is dysfunctional what happens is that the child becomes parentified, not spousified, parentified. As the child who Bowen called the golden child becomes a parent to his dad and mom and siblings. The father tells him his problems the way he’d tell his parents, same for the mother, the child is also supposed to parent his or her siblings.
This is a very wide topic. It behooves you to study it before bringing propaganda which is very misleading over here to try and manipulate women into marrying men who are not husband /marriage material. It’s clear from our political arena lots of single Moms kids are doing pretty well. Kids don’t just need just any one with a beard. They need unconditional positive regard, structure and discipline. It does not matter if it comes from a pack of wolves.
Emotional incest and triangulation. Roles of children like black sheep, maverick, golden child etc. This is an extremely wide topic and it’s not as simplistic as you put, men do not have a monopoly of giving companionship and affection. We all know many couples who do not even talk to each other and treat each other with alot of suspicion. That’s where the child becomes enmeshed.
Please enlighten us as to why men are afraid of settling down with singo mathas with male children.
You still haven’t explained that.
Anecdotal evidence shows that male children are likely to take the burden of being surrogate spouses to their mothers. Thus their perceived hostility to any men who might replace their fathers. Of course the spousification is most certainly not the sexual kind.
But if it crosses that threshold where the mother openly displays her sexuality to her son. For example kuleta wanaume wengi kwa nyumba kama mjinga, she will inevitably destroy her son in so many fucked up ways.
I suspect you know that to be true
I suspect you know it to be true that all male animals not just primates are territorial. In a normal relationship nowadays men want to take advantage of women sexually, financially and in all ways possible. Even if it is you, you will not sit back as your sister, mother or daughter is being taken for a ride by a man.
I know that you hate single mothers and want to blame them for all ills in society but go back to the Bible and see what happened after Jacob’s only daughter Dinah was raped by a certain prince who then fell madly in love with her and went to her kin to ask for her hand in marriage. I know you read the Bible, those were not even her sons but her brothers.
Men understand each other’s exploitative and entitled nature very well. This is why no son is happy to see a man with his mother unlike daughters who are alot more agreeable and gullible. The son understands very well that this new man is most likely not up to any good. His male nature propels him to protect his mother from predators.
FYI at a certain age boys start fighting their biological fathers for the attention of their mothers is that spousification also? Or just male territorial nature manifesting. A boy or son won’t sit back for you to screw his mother over unlike a docile daughter who just wants a father figure in her life. He can even kill you.
As for sexuality my position is that all unmarried people especially women and more so women with kids should not be having sex in the house or elsewhere. In certain traditions I believe Luo no man or woman having extramarital or premarital sexual interactions should touch the baby otherwise the baby will likely die under very mysterious circumstances. Our lakeside brethren can correct me if I am wrong.
I have never really understood why we as a society have normalised sexual immorality ati dry spell, kutoa kutu, sijua pipe plumbing and other sugar coating for a very toxic practice. If you have decided that sex is your daily bread just sell it bcz you are worse than the one being paid for it. At least they can say they are doing it feed their kids but what excuse do you have? If a child free woman can maintain discipline in this area I don’t understand where people with kids even get time and energy for these things quite frankly. You are a single parent and yet here you are again bed hoping. Where do people get all these energy. For me once you try to even approach I already feel tired and will make a hurried exit bcz I know the spiel. By my age I know all the tricks so I have no energy for that nonsense. Am I going to think about where my kids attend college or a stranger who wants to come to control my life? And the worst thing is that you think that the older you get the less you need to deal with advances but people don’t give a damn, you can even be 80 and men young enough to be your grandchildren want to rape. You have seen it in the news.
I don’t hate singo mathas.
But I am an advocate for men’s rights and interests.
Btw. Most singo mathas would never want their sons to marry women with kids. Talk about irony and lack of self awareness.
So many clips huko Youtube of black single mathas in the Yunare states saying how they don’t want their sons settling down with singo mathas.
How do you explain that?:D:D
Nobody wants baggage. A single dad of 6 proposed to me and I declined and I would have still declined if I had 3 kids bcz he has more baggage. I think a single mom of one kid is OK and probably more responsible than a child free woman. People make mistakes and relationships fail. Jimmy Gathu, Allan Kyuna, Richard Takim and many, many other prominent men married single mothers. You look at the person. If she is a good wife material, you will be a fool to marry another woman who isn’t just coz she has no kids. Some single mothers are bitter bcz they didn’t become single mothers by choice. So they hate that they were dumped but another single mother will be married by their sons. It’s a painful reminder. But if you are single mother by choice it’s a different story coz nobody tricked you it was your well thought out personal choice.