Hide my identity. Im a single mum of a 5yrs old boy. I dated a guy for 6 months before we did traditional wedding in our 7th month. He was aware of this child from the very first day we meet. My son stays with my parents but after the ruracio we took him with us to our new home. Hubby changed his behavoiur towards me the following day after ruracio.
He would cheat openly, talk to me with an attitude, eat from the bedroom and Ignores my son and many more. I tried to find out why his sudden change of behavior and he insisted that I should take my son back to my parents coz he is not comfortable around him.
I tried to discuss about it over over again but he wouldn’t change his mind. He added that I was only to visit my son ones in a month, but I used to visit him every weekend before marriage. I then realised he actually doesnt love my son and I decided to leave the marriage 3weeks after our ruracio to give my him space.
He said that since I decided to leave his house he wants nothing to do with me and that I can get married to another man. I always feared that my son might be left out but he always assured me that he is in perfect hands and he will be a good dad.
In weeks time, I came to know he was cheating on me. The lady was in existence even during our courtship. I looked for the lady to find out how they were relating with my hubby she told me he has already proposed to her, immediately I left his house, and added that I should let her be, they were meant to be. She was introduced to the family a week ago during a Rurachio of a family member. The lady has a kid from her broken marriage.
I’m in the process of healing and not interested in any rltnship for now. Is there any marriage for me here or I should focus on my life and that of my son?
I understand her frustration. The most human thing to want is companionship from another human being however, that should not be an end in itself since other more important things can and should get priority - like her son. The moment that guy said he is uncomfortable around her son or telling not to visit him every week, she should have left right there and then. That son is her own flesh and blood for heaven’s sake. Why would she feel bad about loosing a partner who hates the kid? She should be grateful that he showed his colors early on. Such people can harm an innocent kid.
very sad indeed especially now that he knew of the existence of the son. It is not justifiable to just cheat because of this. She should call off the fake marriage and wait upon the right man. This one isn’t.
One wonders why this man is specializing on single mothers, after this one dumped him, he immediately went to pay dowry for yet another single mother. He wants someone who he can use and abuse while holding their fatherless child over the woman’s head. This is a psycho.
I know of a case of a guy who married a single matha and it is because he was diagnosed with some ailment and the doctor told him that he will not be able to sire his own kids… when he actually sired his own kids, he became extremely abusive of the kid from the previous relationship by the single matha… so it is possible that this guy knows that he shoots blanks and therefore wants to hide behind this
If he wants to hide behind that why chase the poor kid away? Being a single mother is like being a psycho magnet. All the psychos including serial killers like Ted Bundy and the Green River Killer were all married to single mothers, pedophiles target single mothers, broke men who want to con women target single mothers, I think if I was a single mother I would not date anyone until my kids are out of the house.
BTW in the traditional society, single mothers would be married to older, possibly widowed mature men… now they are getting hitched to younger never-married-never-had-children boys and that is the beginning of trouble.-
Hata mimi, if I was a single dad, I would never trust another woman with my child other than the biological mother. If it is staying single till the kid is an adult, let it be. I can’t take the risk of bringing in the dynamic of a stepmother in my kids life. Never.
The usual lie unscrupulous men tell single mothers that they love their kids. The way to a single mother’s heart is through her children. Pretend to really love her child unconditionally .
Very true in fact step mothers can be worse than step dads because they spend most of the time with the step child. Some single dads opt to have a long term gf who they keep secretly and away from their children. When I was in high school my desk mates mom who was widowed was dating a widowed man. He was very involved in my deskys mums life and her kids, at one point he asked for her hand in marriage and she declined the offer. I couldn’t understand why since the guy was practically playing the role of a dad in her kids lives but now I understand why. Men have a habit of feigning concern for kids that are not theirs to get the mom but once they get the mother, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Their true colors come out.