THE SECRET AFFAiR
It all began when nilipata kazi ya mkono. and when i say kazi ya mkono those of you in the juakali sector can attest to what am talking about. but for the sake of born taos na wale hukula kwa mama zao am talking about the life of a hustler. yes by then i was a hustler before i realised my talent.
part 1
it was just another MONDAY , and as usual i went to my usual hangouts in a place in Thika called kiganjo kona ya pili kwa mulika mwizi . here we used to seat at the public bodaboda shade early in the morning waiting for somebody to passby and give us any job hata kama ni ya kufungua choo i was always prepared for whatever came my way.
on this fateful day all i had in my pocket was kshs 50, if i failed to get a hustle it would be real rough for me as my son was in babyclass na 2ndborn was breastfeeding a she by the way , she was 4 months old . that means i had three mouths to feed , baby wambui , baby john and my cheating wife fiolina .
yes i said cheating wife . baby john eyes resembled those of my neighbour weseka the heavily built mercenary working for straight securities , but niliamua tu kucheza chini just for the sake of baby john and the other fact been i was a jobless man . anyway thats a story for another day.
so as we waited for job , a white V8 stopped opposite where we sat and a fat shy gal approached our sit .
"nimetumwa na madam boss , niulize nani fundi wa rangi ? the fat shy gal with a kamba accent asked looking down , dont know if she was admiring my safari boots or my leather belt, as she kept staring .
"eeeeh kunaye"i replied keeping close eye contact,
"okay mwambie anifuate niko pale kwa gari ya madam "she said twenging in kamba as she slayed her ass sideways heading back to the v8.
“WAAAAAH WAAAAAH KIIINO NA KAMEBEBA MAVI” said timo the joker , tapping my shoulder .
i was a handyman and this task i surely could handle bora niwe na support ya mtu kama timo.
timo is that short funny fat man who loves to rock chelsea jersey n jeans, its the same timo that survived the toture of mukurino from hell if you are my reading fan u know the story.
anyway i followed the kamba lady in the V8 parked next to the bodaboda stage.
“masharia thiku ici ura deal na momo ?” kimondo , my former classmate teased me as i passed him in his old dayun motorbike .
“digithia mehemehe ngoma enooo” i replied ignoring him .
kufika kwa v8 kioo ikateremushwa and this chocolate lady a bbw of some kind smiled at me .
"sasa uncle "
"poa sana madam , mimi ndiye fundi wa rangi " i replied mesmerised by her beauty . she wore a black top revealling a beautiful cleavage in well kept nyonyos , hata kama sijui mambo ya nywele i swear she had brazilian hair with this beautiful earings, huyu hata vera sidika alikuwa moto wa kuotea mbali kwake.
"ooooh ok, " she paused then applied some lipbum “nataka mafundi watatu na watu wa mikono same number kesho saa mbili pale landless”
landless is a rich suburb in thika , that houses who is who in thika , from business gurus in thika town , the army, engineers and also where retired and working civil servants have built bungalows , its next to an army barracks and its 8 km away from the famous falls called fourteen falls .
"no problem mum , u can give me your contacts " i reached to my pocket and removed my mulika mwizi but instead of giving me her contacts , she handed me a business card .
"nipigie kesho before 7 a.m niwachukue hapa , and please usini fail ".
this was my 1st time to be handed a business card and i stared at it as if nimeona noti mpya ya thao .
“my number iko hapo , yesss hiyo imeisha na seventy seven” she pointed at the bold number our heads nearly meeting as i stood like a maasai leaning in the v8 been guided like a class 2 baby how to read alphabets .
we talked for roughly 30 mins on terms of payment and came to an agreement, fundi alipwe 1500 na mtu wa mkono 800 lunch included before the heavy machine roared into life slowly vanishing away . she gave me a tip of 900/= for lunch that day by the way.
"masharia , masharia ,masharia " i had become a one minute celeb amongst my felow hustlers as i selected the group to accompany me the following day…
part 2
back to my house , bethsaida apartments i suprised fiolina with a kilo of meat i bought at mahewa butchery plus mifupa za supu , hata neighbours walijua masharia is in good moods coz nikiingia kwa plot the 1st person to meet was mama atieno who i greeted something i rarely did after a quicky in the bathroom 6 months behind .
after supper i played with my kids before they all fell asleep and fiolina laid them to bed. we all shared one bed in exemption of baby john who slept in a matress on the floor . kanyumba kalikuwa ka single plus life was tough my wealth kuhesabiwa haigepita 30k total assets .
anyway i told fiolina about my new job to start the following day, she seemed happy and told me about her chamaa, her new abuja lines , a new carpet, a three seater bla bla bla women talk wakisikia kuna mahali utapata pesa . i showed her the business card and she read it for me as i was poor in understanding what the business card meant.
MASSAGE THERAPIST
GIFTED HANDS
OUTERING ROAD MLOLONGO
MOBILE NO. 0721###########
" Anasema , yani inasema yeye ni daktari huko nairobi" she explained to me before saving the number in my mulika mwizi.
i also confirmed with all my workmates before retiring to bed the day after wasi ni fail.
it continues tommorow