( Borrowed)
[SIZE=7]“The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth” - African proverb. Sometimes your lack of discipline is the result of unresolved issues from the past, here is a quick method to overcome them (developed by a psychologist).[/SIZE]
Healing Childhood Wounds
The inner child is the part of your psyche which is emotionally frozen in time.
Imagine a young 7-year-old version of yourself stuck in your body.
Just like people with dissociative personality disorder (DID), we sometimes regress to this child self.
This happens when we are triggered by something which pokes at our childhood wounds.
You will notice this drama playing out when someone acts like a child or has a disproportionate response to something.
When a grown man screams and runs away from a spider, you are seeing the child self.
When someone becomes furious after receiving feedback, you are seeing the child self.
When you binge on junk food even though you are on a diet, you are seeing the child self.
The inner child controls most adults without them realizing.
It’s the cause of many divorces, scandals and failures in general.
To become an integrated adult, you need to reclaim your inner child.
You do this through a visualization process.
Leaving Home Exercise
I learned this exercise from John Bradshaw - a counselor who specialized in shame and trauma.
The idea of the exercise is to take care of your inner child and heal emotional wounds.
This is done by psychologically leaving behind the baggage given to you by your parents.
Parents are the authority figures most responsible for your programming.
To achieve your goals, you need to ‘let go’ of some of the negative programming you received from them.
You do this by leaving home.
Exercise:
Get in a calm state (do this before bed or in the morning).
Take slow and deep breaths until you feel relaxed (20 breaths should suffice).
Now visualize yourself walking down the street of your childhood home.
See it from the first person and pay attention to all the details.
Arrive in front of your home and see the door open.
Witness the child version of you come out of the door.
How is the child dressed?
What color are the child’s shoes?
What is the look on their face?
Walk over to the child.
Tell him/her that you are from the future.
Explain how you know better than anyone what he has been through, his suffering, shame and abandonment.
Tell him that of all the people he will ever know, you are the only one he will never lose.
Now ask him if he is willing to go home with you. If not, tell him you will visit him another day.
If he is willing to go with you, grab his hand and start walking away down the street.
As you walk away, see your mum and dad come out of the house.
Wave goodbye to them.
See them waving back at you as they get smaller and smaller until they are gone.
Tell the child you will be their parent from now on.
Re-parenting yourself
This visualization is a symbolic ritual.
It signifies the shifting of responsibility from your parents to you.
This means you no longer hold their baggage and take full responsibility for your inner child.
When you see yourself ‘acting out’ over some irrational fear – that’s your inner child calling to you.
Imagine you start freaking out over a sales call.
You are terrified, your heart starts racing, and sweat is dripping down your hands.
Take a moment to have a mental conversation with your inner child.
“What is wrong?”
“I’m scared!”
“Why are you scared?”
“They are not going to like me.”
“Yes, they will. You are amazing and don’t have to worry about that. I love you and that’s the only thing that matters, my child.”
After the conversation, you will notice a sense of relief.
The whole thing might sound silly, but it works.
The difference between the highest performers in the world and people stuck in mediocrity is their relationship with their minds.
Those who understand concepts such as the subconscious mind, inner child and shadow work will always excel.
These people can dominate because they have removed their mental blocks.
All humans are the image of God. Where your human parents have failed, as many have in the course of history and will continue doing so, God himself will be the perfect parent and will make you perfect eventually.
Not the god of wakora pastors, the real One.
Wahenga walisema asiyefunzwa na mamaye hufunzwa na ulimwengu