I have to admit I have lived a pretty sheltered life, so sheltered that it was in the recent past I came across a highway robber with a pistol but then again maybe it’s because before I leave my house I ask God to uncross my paths with anyone evil.
Now I have experienced racism twice. Once in high school when we took the family holiday at one of the block hotels in Naivasha. So the only blacks in the hotel were the ones who worked there. Including the manager’s family who would join us for meals. It’s so many years back but I still remember the piercing unwelcome look the whites were giving us. They would actually stare at us like we were some monstrosities. I guess it was hard for them to understand how a black family could afford a trip that they probably really saved up for a year.
Then another time, we were on a double date with friends and we went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, then we decided that the night was still young, we can go hang out at another restaurant and sip on something so we went to a certain hotel at Post Bank building. It was full of cuties, Indians, there was only one empty table right at the middle, so in we went amid the glaring stares of the wahindi. We sat and waited and waited and waited. Being ignored by the black staff. Eventually they came and when we ordered they said they don’t sell drinks with out a meal so since we had eaten we just left.
I have been on holiday in so many places locally which are full of white folk. For the most part they are not racist but I know that for example the fishing holiday all inclusive package in places like Watamu and Rusinga Island never have blacks, maybe blacks don’t like fishing. I don’t know.
Waiters can be racists too but not if you try to be friendly to them, like ask them to recommend a dish to you, talk to them in Swahili. Of course black folk don’t tip as much as whites but then to a white person who has traveled all the way to the Mara or the Lamu Archipelego, it’s a very big deal. To a Kenyan it’s no biggy especially if you go on holiday once or twice a year so you don’t see the sense in tipping because like si umezoea. If you started holidaying from when you were a child and it’s kind of the same circuit unakuja mwenyeji. So how does a mwenyeji tip another mwenyeji. If I go to a restaurant and the service is super, I always tip. I understand the logic of tips. That if I give you 20 Bob and 9 more people give you the 20 Bob that’s an Unga for you . I tip parking people. I tip security for carrying my heavy stuff. If I have no cash I give them food because my house is always full of food. Cooked food in the fridge, as in you can never come to my house and kosa a ready made meal that needs warming. So a times I give security food. Even at work I carry snacks for them when we have left overs from meetings. Where I am from, women are taught to be generous. So obligated am I that I one time gave an egg I’d shopped for to a parking kid because I had no coins and I felt bad leaving him with out something. So it’s not like I am a mean person but I can’t tip like a jungu. That’s why waiters prefer serving jungus. Lots of tips.
So I am really trying to rack my brain for places where I feel discrimination. Some places in Nairobi like Zen Garden have way too many customers. So it can be crazy getting service especially if you are not a regular. There’s a country club in Limuru which is also abit racist, the black staff give white members preferential treatment, I don’t know if their membership fees are higher. I never got to ask the person who took me there. Lord Erol Club also has such attitude from their wait staff but their food is worth the discrimination LOL. Still the key with all wait staff in about any establishment is to build rapport to get the best service.
I remember one place I took a family of some people who helped me settle into a new town, to dinner, when I was leaving the town. It was a very exclusive place, it had a lady who was serenading us, Ella Fitzgerald style, it was so magical , in fact the only people dining were us, 4 adults and two kids on our table and a bunch of young white men looked Mediterranean. So when the waiter brought the hors d’oeuvres, I sent him with my compliments to the chef, who then offered us two dishes at the price of one and our food came before the jungus. Who were busy knocking back shots so I am sure they did not notice we came after them but were served first.
The thing is that as a Kenyan you are actually spoilt for choice, you can avoid racist places but how about if you are a minority and you can’t avoid it. It sucks big time and can actually ruin your holiday, your dinner, everything especially because you are in your own country. I hear Diani is terrible at this.
Anyway, there’s no way we can rid the world of discrimination, its just part of life. I know this as a woman and I know this as a part of the African race. What has helped me is the understanding that people can only give you what they’ve got. If hate and contempt is what they have that’s all they can give you. The other thing is understanding that if someone gives you something and you don’t take it, it remains with them. Just steer clear of them because if they bleed on you it’ll will be nothing but toxicity. People have alot of issues in their lives bothering them. You can’t take it personal if they lash out at you because it’s a sign that they have a problem that you don’t. Still we cant stand by and watch if it escalates to death and injury. That one is unacceptable. We must stand in solidarity against all injustice in the world. I remember how devastating it was to hear of the Indian medical student who was gang raped in a bus in Delhi while from a movie. It still sends shivers down my spine that something like this can happen. We must stand against injustice. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. RIP to all victims of race based, tribal based, gender based violence.