Yesterday I went drinking in a wine and spirits shop, a young man in his early 20s was serving, let’s call the young adult Mr. Malenge. We talked about career, the curious but somehow stupid Malenge asked me what I was doing to earn a living, I told him I am employed in the KDF and that my position is Commanding Officer, in charge of 200 units, each unit has 15 strong armed soldiers. Mr. Malenge was confused how come I was taking cheap liquor yet I hold such a high rank in the disciplined forces…I told the idiot that I see no difference between Legend and Jameson since all of them have ethanol, a chemical composition that makes people drunk, he somehow disagreed but I had to teach him a number of formulas to prove to him that alcohol is basically H20 and ethanol, I told Malenge to consult his form 2 chemistry books, he later agreed with me that people who strain take expensive liquor are somehow stupid. A few minutes later, a beautiful woman with good buttocks in her mid or late 30s appeared, she brought in more boxes of alcohol and disappeared. I inquired whether she was the shops’ owner, Mr. Malenge confirmed that she was the owner, I asks him whether she was married, he said yes, but ni mrahisi sana unaweza tomba, nikupe number? I nodded, malenge saved the number in my phone…
after sometime, I learnt that the lady is Malenge’s mother through a drunkard who was overhearing our conversation… I looked in the eyes of Mr. Malenge with the eyes of of a Commanding Officer, the n asked him with a hoarse voice, “How can you encourage me to have sexual intercourse with your mother?”. Mr. Malenge said, " BT Sir, you promised me earlier in our conversation that you will help me join the army, am doing this to cement our future professional relationship, I also know my father very well, he is a desperate drunkard and I know he never satisfies her in bed, my my mum deserves a soldier". I looked at the young man, shook my head, gulped my remaining legend, paid him then staggered away while singing luhya circumcision songs. ***watu wa mt kenya wako na mambo


malenge mbona unatubeba ki-malenge?


@bjurmann hii malenge inaharibia KDF jina

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So, did you ferk the mother, or did you not ferk the mother?

Samosa ya malenge


Huyo malenge ni @Fala 13

Hii ni fangi mixed with diesel…then sundried…

I wish I had such fertile imagination…the plants I would plant on it? Billionea pap




Not so strange,I once conducted a certain mission in Majengo slums and mothers there get fu#cked in broad daylight by strange customers while their sixteen year old sons wameketi kwa mawe pale baze wakipanga kuiba usiku.

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I’m all for hekayas as they come but this was in bad taste bro :-/

This is the problem

Usitaje jina Fala in vain. Ule fala ako hapa ni VS.

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huyo ndiye mjanja sana kama hujui…ulimwambia hivi akajua wewe ndio kimalenge kubwa…KDF guys flossing ati wa comman platoon, nigga please.


:D:D:D:D:D:p:p:p:p:( inaitwo kupanda mbegu

There it no such a title in the army called Commanding officer.Your description fits in a major.Au vipi kurutu @imei2012?

But…si KDF anafaa kua humble. I am not buying this storo.

He never said he is KDF in real life, he was taking Malesh for a ride

Abraham pimped his wife out, kuna watu wanaelewa mambo ya slices inavyo takikana.

Genesis 20:2

2 and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.