Adults donât have friends. They have acquaintances. Most adult friendships revolve around work or education. 95% of your âfriendsâ are people you have worked or studied with at some point.
Juzi i was at a local with these four guys who have been friends since varsity. Jamaa walifanya same course sasa jangili zinagawana kazi na tenders between them tuâŚyaani their lives are so intertwinedâŚbut wawili wanapenda offroading wengine ni milaya tu na fombe.
I have had the same 2 friends since primaryâŚwent to different highschools and colleges but reconnected in the world of business and pleasure. Watoto pia ni mabesteâŚbibi tu ndio hawapatani.
A lot of âfriendshipsâ are sadly overrated! People donât really take time to truly define a âfriend.â Most âacquaintancesâ are wrongly categorized as friends. A lot of âtransactional relationshipsâ might also be considered friendships.
As you grow older, you also realize that itâs better to pursue just a few (e.g. 5-7) really high quality friends only. Quality over quantity.
Another aspect Iâve learnt is that it helps to do a âfriendship auditâ every 7-10 years. To freshen up things. Meaning that if some people and/ or circumstances change, then change the friendships. Donât get hung on relationships that need to die off. Be bold enough to move on.
About the âtransactional relationshipsâ I was talking about, there was a sad thread by @Gaines in 2022. Some people are only in your life because of what they can gain from you. You are also in their lives because of what you can gain from them in return. It is merely a kind of transaction and it should be clear like that in your mind. Check it out;
Do also check out this insightful clip about why adult friendships tend to be difficult, why itâs a common issue but also why itâs not a lost cause;
And to the Certified Lone Wolves, power to you! Thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with you! Youâre just wired differently and you get your fulfilment differently. Speaking as a Certified Loner!