Men and Friendship

Have you maintained your friendships across the years?

Turning 30 thus year na i think nimebaki na beste moja tu tight. The rest ni acquaintances ama kulewa tu.

One of my friends did me bad after aliomoka. Alianza madharau na kuongea vibaya ikabidi i cut them off.

Is it the same everywhere?

Friendship is overated

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Mimi ni lone wolf.

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the only few people i consider friends are people we interacted before i turned 18.

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Adults don’t have friends. They have acquaintances. Most adult friendships revolve around work or education. 95% of your “friends” are people you have worked or studied with at some point.

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Juzi i was at a local with these four guys who have been friends since varsity. Jamaa walifanya same course sasa jangili zinagawana kazi na tenders between them tu…yaani their lives are so intertwined…but wawili wanapenda offroading wengine ni milaya tu na fombe.
I have had the same 2 friends since primary…went to different highschools and colleges but reconnected in the world of business and pleasure. Watoto pia ni mabeste…bibi tu ndio hawapatani.

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Brownskin sema tu ukweli si uko mabeshte na watu hukuingia mkia ndo wakununulie pilsner

@Gaines , hii Kitu itakuandama hadi lini? Will you be able to shed it off? :grin:

Bana…problem is he changes handles but persona sticks :joy:

A lot of ‘friendships’ are sadly overrated! People don’t really take time to truly define a ‘friend.’ Most ‘acquaintances’ are wrongly categorized as friends. A lot of ‘transactional relationships’ might also be considered friendships.

As you grow older, you also realize that it’s better to pursue just a few (e.g. 5-7) really high quality friends only. Quality over quantity.

Another aspect I’ve learnt is that it helps to do a “friendship audit” every 7-10 years. To freshen up things. Meaning that if some people and/ or circumstances change, then change the friendships. Don’t get hung on relationships that need to die off. Be bold enough to move on.

About the ‘transactional relationships’ I was talking about, there was a sad thread by @Gaines in 2022. Some people are only in your life because of what they can gain from you. You are also in their lives because of what you can gain from them in return. It is merely a kind of transaction and it should be clear like that in your mind. Check it out;

Do also check out this insightful clip about why adult friendships tend to be difficult, why it’s a common issue but also why it’s not a lost cause;

And to the Certified Lone Wolves, power to you! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! You’re just wired differently and you get your fulfilment differently. Speaking as a Certified Loner!

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