Love and marriage; What to do with interfering in-laws????

Me and my South African wife were okay until this cousin of hers came into the picture (literally moved a few doors down our street).
When i say okay i dont mean perfect;we had our fair share of relationship squabbles that every couple faces,issues of infidelity,money,babymomma dramas etc.. But for some reason,we had always overcome this issues for a solid 10 years and we were both settling down to the fact that we were going to grow old together..(she loved it when i said that!) Now i dont have anything against single mothers BUT,if me and my wife of 10 years are going to take any advise about love and marriage,i dont think we want to seek it from a a single mother of 3 uncontrollable,rowdy rascals who cant be tamed by the most patient zoo keeper.
I am talking about my wifes cousin (god knows i cant stand the bitch!)
We parted ways about 3 months ago but we have kept a jovial,“mature” and for all intents and purposes, a good relationship in the interests of our kids.
I have been able to come and go into the house as i pleased even keeping the key and being able to have “conjugal” visitations with my “ex-wife” who has vowed to me that we are just going through a bad patch and that in time we will get back as a family -well,thats what she tells me everytime we have sex!
I could almost live with this weird arrangement but its like just when we have got together,had a nice day with the kids just like before,and even ended up in bed together,i always get an inconsistent behavioural “surprise”!
The other day it was papers from the courts regarding child maintanance which i dont need to be told by a court to pay and of which i have paid over the court orders expectation even before the cousin advised her to have the court do to me.Jana i asked her if i could go see the kids and she told me that her and the cousin were out shopping so it was bad timing!
This bitch is getting on my last nerve and i don`t know what to do.
Has anybody been in this circumstance?! I am really tempted to make an indecent sexual proposal to her cousin (just to wreck their relationship) but i am not that cold and calculating.
Nani ana experince kama hii?


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Kabuda you should write a soap opera based on your life juu you get drama for 5 marriages in your one marriage.

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Too long didn’t read, weka summary hapo down.

swing her to guys ktalk…guys will will be eating her throughout she wont have time to sumbua you

Having a sex escapade with cousin will make things worse – havent you thought of repercussions after your wife knows about it? Why dont you tell the cousin to her face to leave your family alone? or else bring it out in black and white to your wife the damage her cousin is bringing to your marriage. But again muriu wa Kinuthia (name of a friend of mine who has same predicaments as yours after marrying a Rwandese just coz of her good looks nkt) why is your wife listening to her? Cant she make her own decisions? Mshow never to give a hoot of anyones opinion (thats me). Anywho, wishing you all the best lakini unless you move States or Kingdoms and be away from the cuzo, but for how long will you run?

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Obviously not directed to you and your generation. Saa zingine saying nothing is the best thing.
Ushapewa “village Elder” si lazima u-comment kila kitu;and i say this as someone who finds your posts very interesting.

you are so right!saa zingine staying away and clear of your relatives doesnt do anybody any harm. You might call it running but with keeping away from relatives comes peace of mind.You have total control of your life and when you meet its just for good times. I believe that in this life you are born and die alone,friends,relatives and family you met along the way and they shouldt determine the way you live your life…I could be wrong though!

Getting together with the cousin will be the ultimate reason for divorce, u can try and katia her. And when she accepts it,
have evidence and show ur ex wife she ws never loyal from the word go .


noma kweli maisha ya ndoa si rahisi


SA ladies are dem fine

Nothing hurts a woman more than a cold shoulder! Give her a cold one alright…Make your alimony payment on time, send a text to ask for child visitation, if she declines don’t ask why just Drop the plan. Then with zero hearty conversations and no conjugal visits she will ask…“What did I do Hun?” Here, drop the CUZO bombshell…She will never ever entertain her again!


Thankyou.I think desperate situations call for desperate solutuions too.I have never been pushed so hard i felt the need to be outright malicious and calculating lakini this cousin of hers has to GO!,Whatever it takes…my experience tells me that she will not stop until her cousin is a single mother just like her!
Watch this space;i will update you.Afterall,we were okay before she came along!

And they are blessed with booties that almost ask you to squeeze them not to mention that the ones from “ocha” are very docile,loyal,wife materials with the “African woman” values still engrained in them.


take that advice from a lady!

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Maisha ya ka-buda haya??

are u

which Southafrican tribe are you married to?

She is half Tswana and half Zulu but she thinks of herself as a Tswana juu she was raised by her mum alone who happens to be Tswana.
You sound like you would know their diffences by tribe (im non the wiser!).Tell me more…

Wewe shida yako ni nini kiyana???..

fúcked up as my love life is I hope I don’t end up with as much drama as yours.I can imagine how emotionally draining that shit is