living a lie

Hello Talkers.
Najua wengine mta term this as umama,and its okay. But I need usaidizi.
Well,after clearing high school,my life was good ,kazi nikapata and I was doing well compared to most of friends,nilikuwa a measure of success at least among my peers.

Well,let me cut to the chase,cause hii ku rant Sana haisaidi,my problem,am portraying the life I had then,things changed and still in my head and among my peers na put the ‘well off’ guy(in comparison to them,and not the village or societal standard hehe) that I was.

My problem,is lieng so much,najua ita okay not to let the whole world know your problems but hii imekuwa too much,case in point,nime notice am turning down most people from visiting my house,reason-nime uza most of household staff(major e.g kiti),lately,niliuza Ile gas Cylinder Ku raise rent…hoping by know mumepata picha,the double life.

This my 5 month bila job,and am an ongoing student wa a college in town,which sioni nikimaliza in time.
Well,na tafuta hustle na Kama Kuna vile unaeza saidia ndugu,it’s so welcomed,haswa @culture,wewe I guess ni wa hizi area za Jogoo,Donholm-you name them in your postings.

Kuna a few that really know what am going through,though my biggest concern is the big number na dodge na lie too.

Azandeni zana wana kijiji.
(naona nilipandishwa cheo toVillage Elder,thanks Derro and the Team)

Kakinuka kituya kwanza ni kuhama. Hamia place you can afford rent bila stress. Secondly, live your life. Kwani wakijua iko na issues mini ita happen? Do they pay your rent? Do they feed you? Do they wipe your ass after a shit dump? Usikataze mtu kuja kutembea, wacha akuje atembee aone mahali maisha imekuskuma. If it’s a true friend they’ll empathise, help and encourage. If not, well good riddance. You don’t want to have fake friends around you when you finally have it all together.

I know what you’re going through. My best buddies today are those who saw me fall, and fall hard I did, and they’d still come to my 10*8 room and we’d have sembe na sukuma za mbao bila nyanya na moshi ya stove.

Think of it this way, Do you stand to loose anything if your peers know about your present living standards? Probably no if anything a friend might help you or you realise who the snakes are in your social circles so you will mostly gain. I wish you well on the job situation.

pole but dont care what people say just live within your means

In short, he owes @Noapologies to anyone!


Better to be an ordinary person working for a living than to play the part of someone great and go hungry. Proverbs 16:12

the cost you are paying to please your friends is high,

Accept. Wewe mwenyewe kubali you are broke bila kufikiria wengine. Ikibidi uhamie one room mabati room in the slums, do so. You will lose friends you didn’t need in the first place, but more importantly you will unburden your mind off such trivia and begin to think clearly and see opportunities around you that you can exploit. Not necessarily employment. And the friends you’ll make while in your present situation will be genuine friends. Stop digging.

if doing well in life ni kukaa nyumba ya rent kupika kwa gas na kuwa na sofa set then hujajua maisha kijana ama whoever ur friends are ni ma hustler if uko mbele kuwaliko. i hope uko colle mnasoma some English coz
“My problem,is lieng so much” and “my house,reason-nime uza most of household staff” those sentences scream that u didnt go beyond std 5 or ur dick-head

Next month try paying rent with their shitty opinions or compliments… Kikiumana unahama to affordable places… Those cunts disguised as friends means little when you are suffering

Sunnymango,college twa funzwa in English hehehe,the osungu is way better compared to my first post,thanks to the kijiji.
Ndio niligonga 25years,na the little achievements plus ongezea ka mshahara-was a big deal,I even took myself to Uni and now college,that’s a big milestone among my peers.(Mbotee,Jeri,Marish-my locality,na si maanishi all guys that age wako chini kwa hizi hood)

Najua,elsewhere,guys that age wamefanya big and great things-but I was drawing the picture closer home.

Thank you for your advice’s,nime anza ku toa the ‘fake mask’,baby steps.
Cheers guys and mushinde poa.

when i talk shit to someone anijibu maturely. like you did. i feel guilty n stupid

Rent huwa ni swara. Ukilipa before the first of the month mtu huringa sana between 1st-7th. By 15th you start stressing again.
Hama and if you can, rudi home umalize your education. Whatever you do, don’t drop out of school.
Look at it this way, in 3 years the embarrassment of going back home will be forgotten by everybody but you.