Life Abroad Is Not Always A Bed Of Roses For Ever...

Sex & Relationships Hekaya
41

This Tik Toker made a comic view of a real serious ongoing crime…

A man has expressed his disappointment with the house his relatives built for him after sending them millions for the project.

The man explained that the family sent him a beautiful picture of a mansion that they claimed to be building for him.

However, when he returned home, he was disappointed to find two mud huts as the house they had actually built for him.

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42

So now that the Huku Yues guy has shed light on living abroad, do you all niggas, except @kanini_kaseo still believe the article??

43

The three phases of Japa/Moving abroad.

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Francis Okpaleke: Naijaman

I have lived abroad for a number of years now and I have come to understand that there are typically three phases that define the Japa experience.

1. The lag phase (0 - 2 years)

The newbie phase is when most people question their why for moving abroad. The initial struggle to secure a job. The apprehension of not getting a good job particularly if you sold off your properties to move abroad is the befuddling reality of this phase. In this phase, many ask questions and make videos or write stories that suggest abroad is tough and unwinnable. Those on student visas grappling with the hustle of 20 hours shifts seldom push this narrative, while they grind on minimal wages with hopes of securing a work visa in the mid-term. Those that left Nigeria on Residence class visas in this phase are equally culpable, as they allow the saddle of not securing a professional job to trigger an imposter syndrome that taints their perception and vocalization on japa.
My experience has taught me that this phase is transient. Many that make videos painting japa in gloomy terms are typically juggling this phase. For some the lag phase may stretch for longer depending on the country, available opportunities, their visa class, and the wealth and quality of information at their disposal. For others, this phase typically lasts for less than a year. Realities differ. It is imperative that whatever sound bite about japa you get, ensure it is coming from someone who has exited this phase.

2. The steady phase (3 - 6 years)

This is the phase where people land their first professional job. Move up in visa class. Earn more than the minimum wage and have liquidated most of their personal debts. They can afford the little luxury of regular travel to a few nearby countries. They have more savings. Live in better houses and can afford to upgrade their cars. Those with Residence class visas are more settled in this phase. They have secured their first professional job or even changed jobs that earn them their first six-figure salary in a Fortune 100 or 500 company. Abroadians or Japarians at this phase have a re-purposed definition of abroad. They are more oriented to thinking big picture. Less inclined to make videos that cast a gloomy portraiture of the state of nature overseas. Those that sold their properties to move abroad are now slowly recouping their ‘investments’. This phase is essentially the stability phase and defines the next phase of the abroad experience.
There is however no clear timeline for how long people stay in this phase or step into it. Getting a good job is usually the first sign. It is profitable to listen to people at this phase but ensure they are the ones that have shown working and have walked the talk. That is individuals that have successfully hacked how to win professionally abroad and are willing to share from the repository of their experience and wisdom. Most people that move abroad, secure a job, and stay without a criminal record, would eventually and inevitably get to this phase. Some land here and stay in perpetuity. It all depends on individual choice.

3. The acceleration phase (7 years and above)

This is the cruise control phase of staying abroad. Those in this phase understand that abroad is broad. It is the phase of earning well in six figures. Professionals at this stage are now Directors, Senior Executives, or Partners in top firms. A few have started their own companies and are now employers of labor. They have secured their citizenship at this stage and can flex travel with ease. Many that sold their properties in the lag phase have now bought better properties in choice places in Nigeria and elsewhere. Owning a property abroad in this phase is easy to flex. In fact, many have few properties on rental. Professionals here have a different story of what abroad is. They are not fazed by the IG or FB stories of some abroad newbies. They have come, seen, and conquered.
There is however no timeline for this phase and reality may differ depending on individual experience and destiny.
The kernel of this post is that often the portraiture of japa as an experimental reality is skewed. Abroad or Japa is mostly what you make out of it. Arming yourself with the right information and people is often the most important and basic step. Having the doggedness to navigate the lag phase to the acceleration phase would mostly depend on you.

In the end, abroad is broad and Japa is part travel and part determination.

44

This real-life story of Mr Makori after living in the USA for 38 years and at the age of 71, Mr Makori finally relocated to Kisii this year to live in his 6-bedroom mansion which took him 9 years to complete.

Apparently, now in Kisii Mr Makori is in his mansion, Mr Makori lives in the living room of the house while his caretaker lives upstairs in his huge master bedroom.

This is because Mr Makori cannot climb the stairs without the help of another person.
Even with help, it will take him 15 minutes to make the climb.

Mr Makori has decided to stay downstairs of his mansion in the living room as all 6 bedrooms are upstairs.

The house has a living room, toilet, and kitchen downstairs and 3 rooms on the first floor, and another 3 including the master bedroom on the second last floor.

This is surely not how Mr Makori anticipated his retirement. But that is the reality of his journey.

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Unfortunately, this will be the life of many other Africans living abroad building mansions back home without caring about their old age.

In fact, if you are building a dream house for yourself to live in and by 50 years that house is not done, forget it🫣

Mr Makori almost wasted 38 years of his life doing menial jobs abroad hoping to go and retire back home in his mansion and enjoy life. Now, he has no life to enjoy and someone is really enjoying the mansion.

Like most aged persons, Mr Makori is not even able to enjoy a bottle of malt at his age because that will shoot up his sugar level.

Yet, he said he was working hard all his life to enjoy his best life which included eating and drinking the finest when he retires.

Now, he is only able to eat salads and even that, without dressing.

He cannot even chew any of the fine meat out there without his cholesterol sending warning signs.

How is this life and the great retirement?

Yet, this will be the life of more than half of us.

The solution is to take mini-retirements now and enjoy your life and luxury now.

Mr Makoris wife decided to stay back in America to help their children raise their grandchildren.

Mr Makori is now under the care of workers while the rest of his immediate family has decided to make America home.

Lately, it’s rare to find Kenyan women who plan to retire in Kenya :kenya:

The advantage women have over men- women can adapt fast in any place they settle, unlike men.

Take time to enjoy life when you can still walk around and eat anything you want to eat above all travel around the world and experience the great Adventureez :+1:

FYI-Your Kenyan American children might never spend a night in that house or follow up on any of the properties you have worked so hard to buy…

When you will rest that will be the end of it all…

Invest with decorum :face_with_peeking_eye:

45

A SAD REALITY…:sob:

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He’s 68 years old. Retired pensioner. Worked all his life to raise his kids. Deprived himself of life’s pleasures to pay expensive school fees and living expenses for his kids abroad.

They are now well-off in Europe and America. His wife, 60, has relocated to live with her kids. He’s alone back in Kenya. His kids barely call him. He now has to start life all over as a bachelor.

He struggles with high blood pressure and other old-age ailments. How long more would he survive alone? This is the reality for most working-class monogamous men.

Their old age is usually lonely and in many cases, sad. Try as you may, women love their kids more than their husbands, no matter how good the man is.

The older he gets, the less use they have for him. Tell me then, what do men benefit from marriage? They sacrifice so much but get little recognition for their hard work.

The woman reaps all the benefits as the kids are often closer and more affectionate towards her when she becomes old. As a man, know this. Your kids are your wife’s children. You are only helping her raise them.

When last did you speak with your father? But a week wouldn’t go by without hearing from your mom. What is a man’s gain when he sacrifices so much but gets little or nothing in return?

Well, that’s patriarchy. It demands the man literally give up his happiness, pleasures, resources, and life for women and children. Just make enough for your old age, just in case.

So, Is life only terrible for those living abroad?

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