We do grow apart and some friends still stay in touch, however it’s sad to realize that convinience was the only reason a particular friendship existed.
We’re all human and that deep seated need to feel significant is drawn from our interactions with society.
But there’re men who don’t see the meaning of brotherhoods. Sijui kama ni kuwa pussified ama ni kuogopa kukuliwa bibi by the brotherhood ama ni nini.
Take an example of a former colleague. Jamaa alikuwa devout member wa kanisa ya conman Owor. Was also in a managerial position enjoying a nice salary and accompanying perks. Aka marry akiwa 28 years to a very beautiful but naive 19-year old, a church wedding at that. Sasa mwanaume akaona ameangukia, akakata story za maboys banae.
Bibi akaingizwa kanisa ya conman, walikuwa wanaenda kufagia barabara prophet apitie.
Then jamaa akapata a brilliant idea. Why not invest in the lovely loyal wife? And what better way than kumlipia campus? Also the best campus ni ile haina madem wengi watamuharibu, right?
So JKUAT was the natural choice. Akabonga na beta chieth za church, akapewa green light.
You already know what happened next. Character Development moja mwoto sana courtesy of established campus karura brigade.
Not to mention a friend of his from the same scam church, who SOLD HIS INHERITED PLOT OF LAND NDIO AFANYE HARUSI WITH A KUNGURU who later divorced him FIVE MONTHS AFTER THE WEDDING.
:D:D another beta male friend of mine wanted to sponsor his 22 yr old gf for a degree course,
i really advised him against it, bahati mzuri akafanyiwa character development before that… the tears would have been worse.
having a trusted circle of sober well meaning men can really save you from making shitty decisions.
Umeangusha points za uzito, but I have to disagree with you on this. That attachment you’re talking about, defines how your kids turn out to be.
Fatherless daughters are more prone to depression, suicide, eating disorders, obesity (and its effects), early sexual activity, addiction-formation, among other things.
Both male and female children growing up in fatherless homes reach puberty about 2 months earlier than their fathered peers (Bogaert, 2005)
You’ll have to be the worst piece of shiet excuse of a father if you’re willing to expose your kids to these risks REGARDLESS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR MOTHER.
The reason men kill themselves isn’t because of their attachment to their kids. Apana. Cheki this post by @Lingchi
…it boils down to married men not attaching any value to themselves, and pegging their life’s worth to the marriage."
Mimi I made peace that bibi kukuliwa isn’t something I have control over. Mwili ni yake. Focus iko on improving my financial, health, spiritual, and physical well being. I also work on spending time with the children, so that I can impart these skills and behaviors to them.
Let me use the analogy of the Solar System. The Sun is at the center, and everything else revolves around it. The Sun focuses on conducting nuclear fusions, so as to be more powerful. The Sun doesn’t GIVE A FUCK what a puny planet like Earth is doing in it’s own little orbit. But the Earth knows that it’s very existence is pegged on the mercy of the Sun.
Just get straight to the point and admit that all women today are prostitutes. Among the many disadvatanges, marriage to a man is akin to committing to be a life-long trick to a hooker. You just fall to needs of your swipe.
Irregardless, that man evidently lost the war. Mtu amekula mboro majuu anarudi akiskia UMEUZA PLOTI. That man is a toy boy. That female is the king of all kings if you ask me.
This comment wins the MOST-STUPID-COMMENT of the year. How as a man with a short-lived time on this earth can stay in marriage with a cheating wife baffles me. If you have a son please don’t impart this ‘knowledge’ to him for fuck’s sake.
The guy lost, that’s all there is to it. The moment as a man you resort to dread-games with a woman, she’s won. She just came back and got his balls locked in her fists.
Unasema nini kuna jamaa fundi wa mjengo and a very good one at that. His wife left him and moved in with a fellow fundi friend of his in the same plot. He was devastay and couldn’t work. The three all came from the same village uluhyani so he couldn’t go back there. “Nifanyache mkupwa? Asupuhi naamka naona akifikia rafiki yangu nguo!” I had no answer for him
Men are not mentally weak bit emotionally weak. Men’s primary faculty of interacting with their environment is mental, for women it’s emotions. Shaming not a mental but emotional war. The intellect cannot process emotions because they lack dimension hence the frustration in men when a woman goes emotional. Retaining mental dominance of your psyche and draining off the negative toxic energy (emotions are all energy) through other distractors like exercise, sex,reading is crucial and physically detach yourself from the physical environment (Did I hear someone say mancave?) Someone should start a haven for distraught men.
Agree. Been keen in everything she says even jokes and what she doesn’t say. Let her talk about her ex, what was good what wasn’t and why it broke. Don’t believe everything she says about the devil he was but ask yourself why the guy acted that way. What was he reacting to (the unsaid). I once asked a gal who ranted about her ex, “It was all love at first, what went wrong where? Have you thought about how you control to his change?” She went mum and I never picked her calls. If the guy was violent, what made him be? Somethings she said or did? If she asks you about your ex don’t play victim, (,she is fishing for an emotional lever,“No wonder uliwachwa!” punchline) tell her you were the badass your ex couldn’t deal with, 'She was mean with pussy band I would go out and get some, when she questioned me I hit her." Fear factor.
Ask her about her parents marriage (if you want to know how your wife will age, look at her mother). Again here if she blames her dad on and on on how he messed their mum’s life refer to control questions above. “What did the mother do to change her dad into the animal she describes?” Why didn’t the mother move out of the marriage? The dad must have been doing something right. Ask her what find memories she has of her dad. If she says none then know she can’t see anything good in you. A lady friend kept talking about her useless drunkard dad who was a senior cop yet didn’t do anything for them. She went to prestigious schools and her bro studied law in India. Her mother’s govt nursing job couldn’t afford all that. When I painted this out she went silent.