Kukamua na kukamuliwa Narok, complete Hekaya

So I’ve been going through the forum and it seems hekayas are really down. So to reduce the drought, and hopefully to encourage more to come up with Hekaya, nimeona nitoe hekaya.

So some years back, about six months after I’d gotten back to the countryafter a prolonged while. I went to visit my grandma kule mashinani.
After a week or so, I decided tm head back to Nairobi using public means.
In Narok there lived this guy, now working there, who used to be ourcowboy but now working there.
This is a fellow who we’d grown really close all those years he worked for us so I saw it only fit to pay him a short visit.
Luckily we’d been keeping in touch so I managed to trace him and link up with him.

As with old friends, he first took me to his mabati house up close to lenanaprimary.
Sasa sisi hapo hadi tao, ulevi makeg, bia kibao.
Ikafika time and I really wanted to rarua mtu , as in kukamua.

So I ask the dude and he shows me to this place in Narok , I think it wascalled high life, and it was the only place one could get laid in Narok for a fee anytime.
by this time I had like 6k in my pocket.
Sasa mimi kuingia nikagua kagua. There was this Kisii lady on the corridor who we talked briefly then I told her I’ll come back for her.
Nikatembea then I met this yellow yellow kyuk lady tukaelewana haraka tukaingia chumbani, told my guy to wait around.
Mimi kuingia ndani, kawaida nikiwa na malaya ni kukojoa haraka na kwenda zangu. So nikatoa doh kwawallet, gave her hers, wallet back to the trouser, nikaitupa chini, she laydown like a dead cockroach nikalipua mtu.

Sasa kawaida mimi kama natomba malaya, I just want to burst a nut and fuck off. But due to ulevi I delayed a bit but finally I was done.

Mimi nachukua trouser, navaa, kutoka nje, my wallet is not there. I go back to ask the chick whats up akaruka kabisa. So I thought I should go pick up my friend from outside to see whats up.

Going out through the corridor, I meet this kisii bitch visibly angry at me, matusi zikaanza kuflow. Kidogo I saw three guys coming for me.
I don’t know where I gathered strength but I really beat up the guys, hammering them with stones, etc. There was one guy that had this sticks masais like walking around with. He came on it with me, hit me real hard with the bakora, as he went for the second swing, I caught it, yanked it off him and beat the hell out of him.
By this time my colleague was with me and my glasses were broken, and I had a large laceration on my index finger.
The fight was as fast as it started, we got outside high life and took a boda boda to Narok hospital to go get checked.
The boda guy agreed to 150 shillings and off we went.
At the clinic, now around 11 pm, we were met by some really hot Masai receptionist and since I was still high, I decided to hit on her.
I went, saw the attending clinical officer, got my hand bandaged and managed to get the chick’s number, her name was Esther.
We went back to our Boda guy and he took us just close to the road to my guys place.
On reaching there the guy demanded 300 but we would have none of that.
He took off in a huff and we started our short stretch home.
Shortly thereafter, we saw Headlamps and sound of motor bikes approaching, we quickly hid behind some sisal hedge.
The guys came around and were looking for us all over, we knew we’d be dead meat if the fellows caught up with us. Luckily, they never managed to find us so off we went our way to sleep.

The following morning around ten oclock, we woke up, and decided we couldn’t money and break my glasses at the same time. Luckily my friend knew a cop from his village so we called up the guy and went back to high life, to get our revenge.

When we got in there, we found the kisii chick, and easily identified her with broken pieces of her hair which I’d pulled off the previous night in the fight. We easily caught up with her colleague too and off we marched them to Narok police station.
On getting there we met some Somali deputy OCS.

The dude was furious and wanted to lock me in for procuring sex. He ordered the chicks released and ordered us to disappear from his face.

I don’t know whether it was due to being in unfamiliar place or what, but I felt no shame at all, all the guys at the police station knew my story. But I just didn’t give a hoot.

Just as we were about to March off the room, the OCS, a Meru guy, walked in and enquired from his deputy what the matter was.

After getting the story he ordered the ladies locked, and that within 24 hours if they wont have refunded my money and pay for new pair of glasses then they’d be charged. He told the deputy if this case is let go, then they would be hearing a lot of the same. That when these bitches take you to the room, they usually have someone hide under the bed and clean your wallets and phone as you are getting laid.

So from there I was dealing with their colleagues from the brothel.

The following day at 11 am I had managed to get 10k from them, there must have been a special offer on pussy to raise the money. They were meant to pay me 15k but I just let it pass. are
Went, met up the OCS, gave the dude 500 and requested him to release the bitches.


Ulikuwa unatype tangu siku ile?

Whaaaat??? …this is how nilibebwa iphone na 3,750??? Thats hell creeeeeeepy!

yaani kulikuwa na ndume chini ya kitanda nikiwa bingwa kwa malaya?


Shida yako, @kwesta , ni kwamba unatoa hekaya kama Maasai akikula romon…as if we have a whole day of looking at cows eating grass…


I keep saying this all the time. When you get into the room, first thing check under the bed.


kwa ile post yangu ya ‘poko’s last day’ ni wewe ulisema ati ningecheck chini ya bed? …mi kwa wisdom yangu fala fala nikakudismiss hii chizi inaniambia nini?

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Now you know.

it’s the stupidity of youth…they dismiss advice without giving it much thought…halafu wanasema “na niliambiwa”…

Wueh… Huyu jamaa alinyanduana alaf akageuka kuwa chuck norris kutandika wanaume…

@Kidinyi is that your joker card?

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kwanza alikuwa anapata mpaka ma-mawe kwa corridor ya lodge…


hii kitu imeniuma sana

naezaje bebwa fala hivyo

usijali. once bitten twice shy. Mimi nilinyoroshwa 5k hapo luthuli avenue. that was before i knew their strategy

Inua mattress ukute msee amejisunda kigorilla.



Good avice about checking under the bed…

…I get the real picture. …yaaani miguu na mikono yote imeinuliwa juu!;):wink:


Kifo cha mende.

Whores are just thieves by design, they have no remorse. Why didn’t you hang your trouser kwa msumari hapo juu?

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