Wadau praise the lord. Praise the lord again. Happy new year. Mimi niko na ushuhuda ya new year…
So on 31st mimi huyo nimetoka home kuenda Market kununua miwa na kusafisha mesho na village girls. on the way this girl grabs my hand eti sasa Chris, mbona unanilenga? Told her mimi si Chris lakini bado tunawesa juana. Told me her name pleasantries kidogo then told her good bye na kuendea miwa na eye cleansers before heading home.
Home supper kama kawa was brown ugali na fulu. Huwa tunakula kwa mansion ya wazazi as a family then maboys tunaenda simba zetu huko other corners of the compound. Before nitoke my mom asked if nitaenda nao church asubuhi kuanzisha mwaka na nikasema yes I will. Kufika simba my cousin misee(it’s a name huko nyanza) comes na nduthi with his Chelsea Jersey( sijui why all nduthi guys support Chelsea) and asks if tunaweza enda some dance boi ameleta thum(ngoma) off course I agreed, nikavaa sweater na kutoa rungu kama tatu. You see huko nyanza ukienda disco matanga or just any disco you have to be armed with some rungus, either to scare night runners or to teach your rival some discipline incase he tries to talk to your girl. Kwanza night runners can scare the shit out of you mkitembea ukimbie ujipate in another village na saa hizo ni saa nane usiku. Hekaya for another day.
Haya sisi hao kwa nduthi na rungu zetu hadi kwa akina boi, we get there and already kumejaa. Guys dancing to luo songs, sometimes dj anaweka Bongo songs but mostly luo. Nikitemebea around guess who I see, the same girl who said hi to me when going to the market but she is with some guy who just wont leave her with his boys. Walk over there and say hi then leave. So huko guys just dance and enjoy themselves. No alcohol like Nairobi clubs lakini once in a while kuna mtu who will come with a quarter bottle of some cheap liquor, he will be a celeb briefly, am sure if he vies for MCA there he will win with a landslide. You become a brief celeb. Also there are like 2 bulbs huko mbele for the dj the rest mtasurvive tu lakini ukienda huko nyuma mahali light haifiki utapata mtu amejishika tu na dem hapo ama huko nyuma sana kando ya keja utapata a couple, you don’t need to ask what they are doing unless you are a virgin like @Kimakia
At one point kuna hii tradition ya unalipa pesa to dance with a girl, si pesa mob mostly coins. They call it buying that girl, pesa huendea mwenye ngoma as a way of appreciating them. The MC who also acts as the Dj will call ladies foward, line them up then you select one and dance with her after paying. If you pay less after a few minutes yeye huchukuliwa tena. Sasa when the MC called ladies to go foward yule dem pia akaenda. When it got to her turn to be “bought” i placed a bid of 50 bob (bado naandika manifesto ya MCA, goon wankernyama will be in the campaign team too) no one could match that. Mimi huyo took her to dance. Started telling her sweet nothings while she was just smiling na kuuliza kama ni ukweli.
Nikaambia msichana wa wenyewe tuende huko nyuma ya jikoni juu nimechoka kusimama and she agreed. Went and sat there away from people while telling her sweet nothings and how she is the most beautiful girl south of the equator. Words like “jaber, osiep chunya, baby girl etc” were flying from my mouth while my hands did the walking on her body. Galdem alikuwa ameingia box na nikafunga na padlock. Sasa mjuols nayo ikaanza kuwa na a brain of it’s own which took over the thinking from the main brain the more I moved my hands towards nyapusde the more the lower head nodded. Nikamshow tuende kwangu and she said yes. Nikasmile like Kafura when NYS pennies landed in her sacks.
Sasa hapa there was a problem, ningepita na yeye hapo mbele ya watu her guy angeleta war(which is why we carry rungus) so I call Misee then texted him and told him nyoka amejipa na vile kuna noma ya kutoka. He then texted me a location. Yeye akajitoa kama navy seal, sisi tukajitoa kama Mossad and we met hapo evac point at undisclosed coordinates. We had to hid the rungus in some bush juu hatungezibeba zote kwa nduthi tukiwa wasee watatu and left for home. Misee dropped me kwetu then left for his place. Mimi nikapeleka nyoka kwa simba for further skinning. Fell asleep later only to be woken up by a knock on the window hapo 5. That’s when I remembered I had promised my mum nitaenda church nao yet nyoka bado iko hapo inalala…
Wadau hapa wacheni nilete sketch bana
[SIZE=1]Ayam not used to writting since I use comps 90% and 10% sketch with pencils so msitusi my handwriting[/SIZE]
So to I had to find a way to get her out of the house without being seen by my parents who were outside their crib and had to pass infront of and beside mine when going to church even though kuna fence. Mimi huyo woke her up told her acheze wise kama Messi nikitoka nje Itabidi aende around the house while monitoring our movements hadi tuende before aende kwao. So vile tulitoka I shielded her hadi akaenda nyuma ya keja then vile tulipita akahepa na kuenda kwao. Huko church I was clapping so much acting active ni kama I was the holiest. The even asked kina nani wanajua some church elder. And I lifted my hands the highest yet I did not even who that guy was.
Yesterday she texted and asked “ile date ya Lake Victoria ulisema unanipeleka leo bado tunaenda?” Saa hizo nilikuwa Siarare nikiingia Tanzania.