A friend of mine amechezwo and is in a bad shape. His last born daughter Tash isn’t biologically his. He has had his suspicions and after insisting he gets a DNA test done, his fears were confirmed. He has three kids and actually Tash is the one that gives a damn about him. The kid loves him so much. When he goes on a business trip the kid insists to be put on the phone to speak to him. The other kids are okay but they favor the mother.
Now the man feels like dumping his wife but he can’t bear the thought of living without the kid. I adviced him to dump the wife coz he can’t stand her but keep provide the family. I ain’t married so I can’t totally understand what he is going through so I want to know what you think.

such is the paradox of life. i would advise he lets the wife know he is aware of the fact, but accept the situation if all else is okey. even our forefathers would look away from such, and always recognize that mwana sio kuzaa ni kulea.

I know of afew sissies who can go back to such torture. Emotions can change and as the kid grows up he may not be guaranteed her once shared affection. However, the fact that she is not his will never change. So he is walking on a tight rope. He’d better count his losses and move on. Kitambo in maasai land it was okay kuzalishia bibi ya mwenzio but that child will never be yours. Times have changed though and that is hardly practised.
Ama akae ngumu kama MaDvd.

kama sio Wa nyoka mtoto ni mtoto

wanaume wamechezwa tangu enzi za abraham

Very wise.

Damn right! Wanaume hupitia mengi.

baby panda wacha kutuenjoi ati ‘friend’, hii umesoma Kwa novel gani. Maliza hekaya. Aliwacha bibi ama alikaa na familia hadi mtoi akakuwa professor

Makosa ilifanyika. Alee mtoto. What if it was in reverse? Could he have expected forgiveness from wife?

It’s something happening to a close friend and if you have nothing to contribute kindly keep your opinion to yourself.

It’s hard for him. You know why? She was nailed hadi akazaa. If she was caught cheating and no kid is involved ingekuwa another thing.

Split with the wife asap but he should continue providing for the kids.

The foundations of marriage are trust, honesty and faithfulness. If we got married and exchanged those as our vows, I have a responsibility to honour them. During the earlier days, not so long ago, in the Maa community, in our traditional African setting, mzee @FieldMarshal CouchP would sire a child with you but that child would remain mzee @gashwin 's . Simply because marriages were only for procreatory purposes.
Times have changed. We marry for more than procreation. There is trust and faithfulness involved. However, the burden of betrayal would have been heavy if any of the promises were broken. There are diseases and the current economy requires that some carefully watch the number of kids they have. As long as the basis of the relationship was formed, any counter measure against it will be seen as betrayal. So anyway, whatever decision will be made, the matter of fact will remain that someone was betrayed and he will live to remember so.

It’s a tricky situation for all concerned. My advice to him would be put the kids 1st. Let the wife know he is aware, that would assist defuse any bad feelings. They talk with the wife to see what’s best for the kids. Afterall, they need both parents. The point is, shield the kids from any bad blood between him & the wife.

Unlike us, women know everything about their fertility cycle. Mwanamke akizaa mtoto with another man na ameoleka it is 100% deliberate. Let him cut his losses and move on.

He should use this information to blackmail her for the next twenty years.
Every time she hustles him for money, complains about him cheating, becomes demanding or refuses to treat him like a king, he only needs to pull out the ‘f**k you kunguru, you can’t tell me bullshit’ trump card.
These are the laws of power. Use leverage to influence people.
If he dumps her, he will lose the kids and the power he has over her.

There is NO WAY that man should stay with that woman. Not because she cheated, BUT BECAUSE ALIZAA. Procreation is a very personal and intimate thing, more intimate than having sex. When a woman decides to have another man’s baby it means she has zero respect for you and sub-conciously even ‘thinks’ that your genes are inferior.

Akimsamehe wakae naye, the woman will continue getting dicked by the man. Atakuwa akipewa sloppy seconds, hoes are just hoes. The sole purpose of a marriage is procreation, ningekuwa yeye ningekuwa naconsult a divorce lawyer.

That leverage won’t hold, a woman will always accuse you of driving her into another man’s arms. You can never win such arguments with manipulative hoes.

Hehe…unajitoa tu…you will be happy afterwards even though larger family might criticise and even make you a pariah.
Pia unaeza kaa hapo bp ipande immune system ishuke udevelop hypertension, heart disease na cancer na tb uitane harambee.