Enyewe Mwanaume ni Confidence.
This happened to me just before i met and settled down with my South African wife around 11 years ago.
I was working in a very female dominated environment in a Mental Health Facility soon after i graduated and to say that i took full advantage of being the only Black African male among a whole bunch of female nurses would be an understatement. There was newly qualified nurses from every corner of Africa,The West Indies and Asia. And they were all lonely and horny,mostly because they had left their husbands and families behind in pursuit of a nursing degree abroad.And all this funded by the host government and with a guaranteed job at the end of it.(- oh the good old days…)
I was in my mid twenties and i found the married ones much easier to deal with because when the “love affair” started to get a bit too intense for my liking,i would quickly remind them that i was just a “dish” on the side and that they should actually be working hard to bring their families and husbands to join them Not waste time worrying about me. I was surprised that this line always worked and some of them would actually thank me for getting them back focused on their “priorities”.!
In time i get cocky and i at one stage was banging 5 women on the go (safely ofcourse) but kila mtu ana kiboko yake and my “kiboko” came in form of 27 year old Mercy from Kariobangi.
Mercy was one one bootylicious Kikuyu girl who had been through so much in Nairobi from getting pregnant before she did her Fourth Form to getting kicked from her father
s home to working in Mombasa as a waitress just to pay for a nursing course. And she had achieved all that and had now managed to get the Sponsorship to come to Europe and pursue a degree in nursing,soon after which she had got this job. Mercy had come a long way. Anyway,i fell head over heals in love with Mercy but she i soon realise that she is a very disturbed woman seeing her past and she has an ugly side to her that comes out when she gets drunk.I remember her once telling me in a drunken fight that if all the dicks that have been inside her were to be joined together,they would stretch back to Mombasa! But "sober" Mercy is also the sweetest,most gentle and kindest woman you could ever meet. She is also Smoking HOT! and she has the Figure 8 booty to back it up! She is also a "whore" in bed and there is nothing too sacred when the lights go off in the bedroom. I used to call her Eve because she looked exactly like Eve the musician. Anyway,her drunken side gets to me juu she could get so wild and violent so one day after she makes a scene after a bash i decide i have had enough and i want to cool things off with her if only for a while. She also gets a new job in another hospital and i get the breathing space i so needed from her. My "breathing space " comes in form of a Zimbabwean chick who i soon realise is different from any of the other nurses. She is quite young and naive and she is a; (wait for it).......... A Virgin! Yes;Namposa has never had cock in her life and i believe her seeing how she carries on. Could this be the woman of my dreams? Is Namposa the "ONE"? Only time will tell and i remember the first time i went on a serious date with her and the way she kept banging on about her family and how close they were,how she was the first born and how much responsibility she had to make a good example for the rest of her siblings..... bla,bla bla...And all this time i am looking at her thinking...wow,i can see my cock in her mouth...... After a few months of refusing to go all the way she one day surprises me by inviting me to her place on my birthday and i can tell that she is now "ripe" for the deed But not before she lectures me on what a christian she is and making me promise that we will be together for the rest of our lives. I "enjoy" my Birthday Present although as any man will attest,taking a womans virginity is bloody messy.(no pun intended)
Namposa soon gets too clingy and all the while “Eve” has got wind of our little affair and she is non too happy.
One day in the small hours of a Sunday morning i hear my intercom go off and seeing that i was living in a block of apartments i assume that some neighbour has forgotten their key and they just want to be let in. I get up from my bed and i stagger half asleep to press the button that opens the door downstairs.
Within a moment i hear the loudest banging on my front door and there is no mistaking whose voice that is!.. It is Mercy and she is off her head drunk! I am now standing at my door wondering what to do and she is banging away on the door and if i don
t let her in one of the nosy neighbours is going to call the cops thanks to drama queen Mercy.. So i let Mercy in and she is wilder than i have ever known her and she is shouting at me asking me .."ni nini sina unaenda kutafuta kwa Mugabe?"...."Ako na utamu kunishinda?".... "Ako na rasa kubwa kushinda hii?"... At which point she removes all her clothes and demands that i shag her! It doesnt help that i hesitate because she charges at me,pulls down my boxers and before i can say “wacha tuongee” she has me in her mouth and she is doing what she does best. S he proceeds to suck on my sack so profusely that before i come to, she has me banging her dog-style on the floor.
We are at it for the better part of the morning until i hear someone trying to open the door to my flat at around 8AM.
JESO WA MATUINI!!!
I quickly remember that Namposa has the forbe and the key to let herself right into my flat because i gave them to her.!..WTF!!!
As thoughts of the different scenarios that could now befall me cross my mind, i can hear her innocent voice through the letter box and she is innocently saying…“honey,…its me…your keys are in the door honey,open up…” I know she won`t be calling me honey when she gets int the flat so as i stand there Dumbfounded and as i try to reassure myself that this is the kind of stuff that makes you a man,she is now impatiently calling my phone and this gets the attention of “Eve” who is butt naked on my bed oblivious to the unfolding drama.
When she hears Namposa impatiently screaming for me to open the door she also gets agitated and demands that i open the door in Swahili and i am now sure that Namposa has put one and one together and she is also even more adamant and literally crying for me to open the door.
At this point i remember what my Nigga JG had once told me…“kama haujaua mtu usiwai jali beste”… I wished JG was there to comfort me while i opened the door and the craziest thing was i have Mercy on one side of the door stark naked and calling for war while on the other side i have innocent Namposa sobbing and crying trying to make me explain why i would ever do this to her…
I open the door and they are now facing each other but Namposa knows better than to fight Mercy and Mercy is standing there telling me to let her collect all her stuff and leave us alone in Swahili. Namposa is getting angrier seeing me paying any attention to Mercy and she has even more difficult questions for me than i can answer; "Why did you take my innocence away you selfish man? … i even introduced you to my Aunt and she likes you… Who do you want between me and her?.. Are you going to throw away what we had?..
Hii side ingine i have Mercy saying…"kiambie kiende!.. Unaongea nakyo kwa nini?..
The funniest thing was that after all had cooled down,they both decide that they want to go home and seeing that it was a Sunday,there was no buses running where i used to live and so i have to give them both a lift. I almost laughed when we got to the car and they couldn`t decide who should sit in the front with me !
Namposa eventually decided that they should both sit in the back and it always gives me chuckle when i remember how she jostled her way to the front seat as soon as i took off and when she was comfortably sat she turned around and pulled a face on Mercy who had been caught unawares just like me!..
All Mercy could say was “Hebu chunga steering hiki kitatuua”…
Enyewe mwanaume hutoka Far!
KTalkers,Please share your “kukutiliwo” stories…