There’s an FB group called Thriving Couples, I am a member because I counsel alot of my married friends and sometimes even acquaintances. So in that group there’s a guy called Socrates, the bugger is apparently a fiction writer, if you are in any number of FB groups there are always people who write such stories since they get an automatic audience even if they don’t get paid for it, it gives them a sense of satisfaction as people who love to weave a tale.
I didn’t know that before I came across his post. Can you imagine the guy was narrating how his car was stolen outside Tuskys Tom Mboya with his son called Ryan in it who was later found dead in Nairobi river. I had already started putting my hands on my head in shock and my heart skipped several beats as my whole body froze. Only to find out it was a dream. I almost blocked him and wanted to rain insults on him but being a good Christian I am trying my best to avoid insulting people. As I kept scrolling, I found another one of his stories, ati how his wife and kids died because of his infidelity.
I have watched a few movies based on Stephen Kings morbid obsession but frankly there’s things that are off limits. I really felt like I needed to catch up with his neck to wring some sense into it. I was in shock.
I am very good at it too. Recently a friend I had advised many years back called me to tell me that the advice I gave her about a relationship she was in came true. Actually Ruto would be great at teaching criminology 101. Being outside the guided cage gives you an objectivity most married folk lack.
I guess by training you may be good. For me when my married friends have issues, I always discourage them from going to people who are not married. Or at least those who have never been.
I am also curious did you advise your friend to leave? That what you exclusively portray.
And no, Ruto does not believe in justice but by buying his way to solutions.
Why would you do that? By the time some one trusts you enough to come to you with their problems, marital or otherwise, they must have seen that you have superior intellect or wisdom to help them solve their problems. I asked a few why me and not their ilk. They told me that they know that if they tell a married person there will be no confidentiality plus they at times take advantage of the situation like to go have an affair with your spouse while reporting what you told them. Having a good character and morals isn’t contingent to marriage. Married people have this condescending attitude that marriage automatically makes you above reproach like Caesars wife. To the contrary, the worst people in the world were married and the best were single. Almost all serial killers were married. Majority of all men who go to prostitutes are married. The biggest criminals anywhere in the world are married. The most promiscuous people are married. Are those the caliber of people who you should go to for advice? Just because they’re married? People look at the moral uprightness, wisdom, compassion, sincerity and personal integrity of an individual before seeking their counsel not their marital status. I can assure you that even you yourself if you knew me IRL I would be the first person you would seek counsel from. I’m approached even by much older people but not to take credit, I usually consult the Holy Spirit before giving any advice, I don’t lean on my own understanding bcz after all I can only derive advice from observation not experience.
People who are habitually single dont understand relationships. And your view of all men is complex and “not friendly” . I even wonder what you advise other than leave, with all the property. But if you have the professional training to counsel it is different then. Married people would make the most of those ills simply because they make up the majority. Past 35, married ( or in long term relationships) men are 97%. It takes tolerance to live with a person more than 3 months in a little cramped house. You have to learn how to gage the other person. For that reason, such people give the best advice. Tolerance, patience…play a big part even in those who run businesses.
What don’t they understand? That most relationships especially for women are really not worth the investment you make in them and its a philanthropic venture at best?
Its women who are the most stressed in most marriages not men anyway so I can’t really argue with a man about the cost vs benefit analysis of marriage. They have no clue about the level of sacrifice required of women in these marriages.
My views on men did not come from Jupiter. My views about just about anything especially things I don’t partake in are simply based on observation. If out of 10 married women I only know 1 who is happy, do you really expect me to have a ‘friendly’ attitude towards men? If almost all downfall of women is because of a man, which other attitude do you expect beside extreme caution for my personal self preservation?
Married people are hypocrites. They will pontificate all day about how honorable they are because they are married and how sacred marriage is, as they are sleeping around in the office, with gym instructors name it. Go to any workplace today and ask who has the highest moral integrity? Even in places where it’s 50/50 single vs married folk. I don’t know what it is but maybe it’s the monotony of sharing beds with the same human being that makes them crave variety. You people are too too promiscuous for life. Women are also catching up with that bad lifestyle of sleeping around.
I don’t tell anyone to leave even if they are being pummeled on a daily basis not because I have a psychology degree but because as a woman I understand a few things about women from first hand experience. A woman will leave when she’s good and ready without consultation or consensus building. If she’s consulting then she hasn’t had enough and just needs encouragement to stay until she’s completely fed up or she adapts and stops complaining. Have you ever thought about that? Nobody teaches you that in a psychology class.
The only thing that I oppose unequivocally is being unequally yoked like Christians marrying moslems, a woman providing for a man,women being a work mule for men on top of the numerous responsibilities women bear, taking loans for a man and child abuse of any kind. Otherwise I don’t encourage anyone to divorce bcz as a Christian I know God hates divorce and remarriage is not allowed, so you might as well stay single from the get go bcz if you are a true Christian you can not remarry when your spouse is still alive. That idea alone is enough to keep you off marriage permanently because you will have very high standards for the person you want to marry bcz you get one chance and after that it’s till death. It’s like being told you can only drive one car for the rest of your life. You can only get a new one if the first died. That’s the seriousness of the marriage contract and that stability is what kids need not the serial monogamy we’ve perverted it to nowadays.
Let’s not forget that the chances of a woman making it out of a toxic marriage alive are not very good since men resent being told to pay child support for kids of a woman he can no longer control, use and abuse. That’s what men used to hold over their wives heads, not providing for the children and making the woman destitute as a single parent.
I wouldn’t want to advice a married woman to leave her toxic and abusive husband only to watch on the news how her and her kids were bludgeoned to death. How would I live with myself? The rate at which women are being killed by men is alarming, I wouldn’t like to get involved. I saw a story about a woman who was stabbed to death trying to help her friend escape her abusive husband. Men are just wack like that. Women must look out for themselves and their kids. The rest are details.
How you advice couples is beyond me. And relax. It’s just sex. Take that out and those men are fine men. After all, there are women willing to do it with them. More women than the men, as a matter of fact.
These bitter, old ladies fancy themselves the best relationship advisers yet most of their advice amounts to RUN! RUN! RUN! Juzi niliona Muthoni wa Mukiri amefungua YouTube channel ya relationship advice with the same theme of always run away. Guess what, she’s a single, mid thirties lady mwenye amepitiwa na maballers wote hii Nairobi.
Hawa wanarecruit tu wanawake to their bitter old lady movement
I can see you are letting your emotions get ahead of you as usual. I didn’t say that I hate fiction writers. I said, some things like how your child was murdered and dumped in Nairobi River are off limits even if it’s fiction. It’s a bad omen.
On marriage advice, how many people do you know who are in happy marriages? Must not be many because they should be the first option for these people. Married people esp married women are a frustrated lot that comforts themselves with the sorrows of the next person. Well, at least my husband does not beat me, at least he hasn’t given me an Std, at least he’s not like a, b, c, ds husband who takes all her money. Or you think I don’t know how you people berate each other to comfort yourselves and distract yourselves from the lives of quiet desperation you live?
Imagine being so desperate for a listening confidential ear or shoulder and a comforting word that you seek advice from a person who has never been married and isn’t keen to either.
Isn’t it very telling when you will break down to a complete stranger because you are so burdened by your marriage. The loneliness in marriage is thunder. You are so depressed and lonely, many times I meet women I don’t know and they break down and cry about their husbands misdeeds.
I once took a cab and when I got to my destination when the lady who is much older broke down and sobbed about her husband had a whole other parallel family upto the names of the kids. Being a good Christian I could not leave her alone in the car crying so I told her, her husband has served his purpose and usefulness anyway since he raised their kids. She was like no actually what hurts her the most is the sacrifices she has made for their family since he wasn’t much of a provider. What could I say, I asked her about her kids and she calmed down. After 1 hr talk her doing the talking and asking her if she’d like to come in and freshen up, she was OK again.
Married people have no one to turn to, they fear telling other married people because they are judgemental and blame the woman and of course it becomes fodder for gossip. Anyway that’s what a married woman told me after I asked her to seek counsel from older married people. She told me she likes talking to me because I don’t engage in mucene, many people confide in me including my own parents and whatever I hear will never find its way to any other 3rd party . Like most married men and women. Who have no idea what confidentiality is.
Anyway, I know you are just jealous because probably noone thinks enough of you to confide in you in spite of your being married because they don’t want heavy handed, condescending advice from people like you who think marriage is the holy grail of life. The be all and end all of life. They want an ear and words of encouragement, which from your inability to listen and jumping in to give curt answers in a misguided attempt to appear ‘expert’. God gives you 2 ears and one mouth, for you, you don’t comprehend what is being said before you listen. FYI most people actually have things figured out by themselves they just need someone to talk to and encourage them.
Anyway, it’s Christmas,we made it, peace on earth and good will to all (wo)men.
Why do people go for counseling to priests, who are single?
Well, if your wives who have carpet burn from going on all fours in their bosses offices and the ones filling Air BnB and all motels over lunch hour and carrying pregnancies for gym instructors are the ones that you want giving relationship advice then so be it. Better to be bitter, old and single than being the office whore.
The only advice your wives can give is how to climb the corporate ladder by going on your knees and sucking your boss decks and how to swallow cum and kiss your husband in the evening with the same mouth without you being busted.
You are just madd that we refuse to be misused and abused by not joining your whore wives in the slave plantations of marriage. The only thing that marriage has done to the modern woman is diminish her self esteem to the point that single men know that if you want a raw quickly in the office after just a few compliments, you find a married woman.
But hey, what do I know? Never been on my knees and back, so what advice can I give the modern wife who is like a toilet to her bosses. So low is her self worth that once she’s drunk you can fuck her anywhere no need to even get a room. Her value is too low to insist on being taken to a motel. She’s fucked bent over in the bosses office and then fucked even by drivers and messengers during office parties.
By the way awhile back there was this blog about how to cheat on your husband without getting caught. It was married women advising each other on how to get away with those lunch hour quickies that have made motel owners quick cash.
I know it’s hard to understand that single people have way higher standards and morals than most married folk. Even those who like your friend who lived a wanton life change with age. However it’s like in marriage people especially women get more and more rotten by the day.
BTW I remember one tip for getting away with a lunch hour tyrst on that blog that many attested to work. Always shower without soap. I will look for it and get more tips. These your wives are pros in whoring plus they never use condoms and that is why HIV new infections rate is highest in Kenya among married folk. Go check NASCOP to see if I’m hating. Check for yourself. It’s higher than the infection rates of gey and prostitutes COMBINED. That one stastic is very telling of the hypocrisy in Kenyan marriage and the debauchery. It is a testament that the only relationship advice most married folk can give is advice you on how to get infected with HIV.
I saw a new exposee where women chamas fly their side dudes to Dubai after telling their husbands they’re on business. Remember the lady who lied to her husband that she was in a work retreat only to drown in a boat accident. Yes. Those are the people who should be giving relationships advice. It takes alot of expertise to be screwing 10 men at the same time and your husband is none the wiser, kissing your sperm ridden mouth every evening. They really know how to give it up to their bosses. LOL.
Let us remain single, bitter and AIDS free. You guys just keep popping those ARVs. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but you love immorality more than you love your health and life.
This isn’t Twitter. I can write as much as I want and I have written books so the long posts are right up my alley. If you cannot read a few paragraphs it is you who is mentally challenged. Your bird brain can’t absorb much. Don’t call me names for being too retarded to read, blame your parents who never trained you to be a reader. How many books have you read this year Mr Mentally challenged? LOL. I average a book a month. So that’s 12 books I’ve read this year. How many have you read? This month I am reading up on American pedagogy, a book by Amanda Ripley called the smartest kids in the world and how they got that way and no I’m not doing it for my kids. I just wanted to understand pedagogy in different countries. Just for the sake of it. I’m curious. I’m not doing a thesis or anything.
I may be idle seeing as I have the time to read at least 12 books a year but what would you prefer that I do with MY time? Go and wipe your white grandmother’s behind in a nursing home? I prefer to write long essays online instead and I have a choice as to how I use MY time Mr. Mentally challenged. You haven’t seen the half of it. Mind your own time. That’s why everyone gets the same 24 hrs, so that they can choose what to do with it. Do you think that you can use shaming tactics to manipulate me to stop writing long essays, you are dead in the water sir, greater mortals have tried and failed. They end up making me write ever the more.
So what have you been reading. Tell me. I’m interested to know. Last month I read, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. In October I read The Soul of America by Jon Meacham. That’s the life of people who can afford to be idle. Writing winding essays online and reading books at random. I like the idle life.
It sounds like you counsel already angry women like yourself. In my opinion, from what you write i don’t think any man would sit next to his wife and listen to you, you are the biggest misandrist i have met on a forum. You write a lot of boring and biased stuff.
Why do you follow my posts if they’re boring and biased? You could have just blocked me since short of an angelic visitation I will not be changing anytime soon, if I affect your sensibilities you would be better advised to just block me. You know that I am not a pleaser of men, so your opinions are irrelevant to me. I will still post the same stuff until the chickens come home to roost.
I find it rather interesting that in this place, there’s an entire section dedicated to misogyny but let a woman say one word that does not paint men in a favorable light and then she’s given all kinds of labels, shaming tactics to silence her. She’s angry, she’s bitter, she’s a misadrist. Name it.
I wonder what you would say if women had a forum where they objectify men and label them unsavory and pejorative labels on an hourly basis like kunguru, momo and the rest then sat down to analyze whomever they slept with and how many women have sampled him and if his deek is big or a pimple and on and on ad naesium.
There’s something I’ve learnt about men since I came here. Men are master projectors. If you hear them complain about anything it’s something that exists in them to a much larger scale than in the person they are vilifying for having the same trait. Like when men say women are sluts. Actually men are the real sluts, they’re so sex crazed that they pay women they’ve never met for sex, I don’t know how much sluttier a human being can get. Can you imagine a woman going to a brothel regularly and paying different men all strangers to fuck her?
So I know whatever you say about me, not that I care anyway but it’s really all about you. Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror. You will discover that your disdain for me is really more about you, the shadow as Carl Jung calls it. Your blindspot.
I acknowledge that we live in a post truth world and anyone who speaks the truth and isn’t politically correct will not get any accolades.
I may hate men but do statistics also hate men? There’s a series I like called I am a killer, it cites empirical evidence that there are 8,000 people sentenced to be executed every year and less than 10% are women. So is the truth also misadrist? Is the truth bitter and angry towards men? Whatever I bring here are irrefutable facts. I don’t bring hearsay or anecdotal evidence. Men generally are more evil by far than women else there would not be so many male prisons compared to women.
Your opinion is irrelevant. Whether you like it or not married people both men and women confide in me in spite of my inexperience in the area. That’s how come I have alot of info about what goes on in these so called marriage, I have a front row seat that I didn’t sign up for. I guess married folk are so narcissistic they feel the need to enjoin you a carefree single into their suffering. I mean how dare you not suffer along with them. The least you can do is help them download or offload their stress. There was a guy who is a pastor who told me his wife had denied him sex since the birth of their last born. I was like that’s really too much information and too personal. Especially to tell a person of the opposite sex. That didn’t stop him, he would always complain at any opportunity, I had to cut him off bcz I felt that it wasn’t respectful to his wife.
As a matter of fact, I actually don’t care for the troubles of married folk. I really don’t. I prefer that they tell me about other things like nice places they traveled to, a nice documentary they watched or books they read or dish they prepared but it’s like they just can’t pass up any opportunity to offload their stress. They are practically bursting at the seams. I don’t have problems to share with my married or single friends. I really don’t. So I can’t reciprocate. Even if I did, married folk have this attitude of you a single person has it so easy so you owe them a ear and a shoulder to cry on, I mean it’s the least you can do for the suffering of humanity.
Actually I would just love it, if married folk would spare me their endless sorrows and let me enjoy my simple stress free life drama free life without acting like I owe them some relief from their trials and tribulations. I mean with their status in society they are supposed to be counseling me not the other way around but you see I seriously have no problem that they can help me with bcz my life is almost problem free. I mean who is going to give me trouble when I steer clear of the problem makers aka men? 99% of women’s problems emanate from men, so if you keep off men, voila you will have no problems. So maybe the real person you should be pointing fingers at are your fellow married people who won’t leave single people alone to enjoy their stress free lives without enjoining them involuntarily to their endless woes in marriage land. I just indulge them bcz I feel sorry for them.
Kunyweni ARV pole pole bila kutusumbua. When you were running amok distributing pussy and deeks like it’s going out of fashion, we were at home reading our Bibles. Kila mtu abebe msalaba wake.