I bet this will crack u up

A little boy and his friends are being
called bastards and bitches by
bullies at school. The boy goes home
and asks, “Dad, what are bastards
and bitches?” And his dad replies,
“Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen.” Then the boy goes
upstairs to see his mom. As he
enters the room, he accidentally
drops a perfume bottle, and his mom
says, “Shit!” “Mom, what is shit?” and
she says, “Perfume.” So he goes to
see his dad (who is carving a
chicken), and his dad cuts himself
and yells, “Fuck!” The boy asks, “Dad,
what does fuck mean?” and dad says
“preparing.” Then he follows his dad
upstairs. A few minutes later his
mom and dad are about to have sex
when his dad says, “Where are the
condoms?” The little boy asks, “What
are condoms?” and his father says,
“Condoms are coats and jackets.” The
following night his father invites over
some important business clients. The
boy opens the door for them and
says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards
and bitches. Hang your condoms up
here, my mom is upstairs rubbing
shit on her face and my dad is
downstairs fucking the chicken!!!