How Lanye wa SJ wrote COCONUT with her WAIST

This is a story about my friend who lost 1.8m Kshs (around 18K USD) in an elaborate but simple scam two weeks ago.
Around two months ago on a Saturday my friend, we’ll call him Jim, decided to quench his thirst in one of the city’s watering hole. He’s also planning on meeting a certain lady, to impress her he’s taking her to the best club in town. The joint looks something close to this.

Quite the place, the lady will be impressed.
He’s somewhat of a loner, reserved and abit introverted so he plans on getting to the club around an hour earlier take a few shots of his favorite whiskey by the time the lady arrives the whiskey will be cheering him on.
It’s around 4 PM now, the lady should be arriving.
5 PM, the lady is yet to show up.
6 PM the lady is no longer picking his calls.
Luckily for him, on the next table a rather lonely dude is seated. He’s sipping an expensive cognac. The dude notices Jim and a small conversation starts. Within 30 minutes they’re chatting like old friends.
Four hours later, the dude clears his bill and Jim’s. They both leave for home.
At the carpark, the new friend is a bit overloaded. Wow

Now that’s a machine a late 20s dude shouldn’t be driving. They exchange numbers and Jim walks pathetically to his 8-year-old Subaru.
The next day, our new-found friend calls Jim. He request him to meet at the same club. Jim is not the type to snub rich-alcohol-buying people. He throttles the old Subaru to the club. They take an expensive whiskey and goat ribs. The friend pays and suggest they move to another club about 5 kms away.
They’re taking the friend’s Range Rover; Jim can pick his Subaru tin later.
Along the way, things start to get interesting. The friend stops at a mama mboga (groceries vendor along the street).

The friend hands the woman bundles of cash. A significant amount but it’s concealed.
The woman hands him a parcel in brown packaging. It looks like this.

The friend ensures Jim has witnessed the transaction closely but between them nothing get discussed. They proceed to the club and a few hours later when they’re leaving they drop the package at a different place to a white man.
Now my dear reader, I hope you’ve been following this closely, now I need you to be more keen as you read ahead…
Jim and his friend meet four more times. Every time, the friend picks the package, pays for it and drops it somewhere else.
On the fifth time, curiosity gets the better of Jim. He enquires the details of the transaction. Dismissively, the friend says it’s just a side hustle but a risky one. Jim want to hear more. The dude comes clean and tells him he deals in DRUGS.
Jim gets nervous but still he want the whole story. It turns out the guy buys the drugs from the woman disguised as a groceries seller then he sells it to a white man. For every transaction he earns around 300k KSHS (3k USD). Clearly he’s living an expensive life. High end cars, alcohol and everything…
Such is the life Jim admires; along with everyone else. He’s eager to know how he can get into the business. But the friend tells him it’s not possible. The white man takes one and half kilos each week exactly the amount he delivers. No available market, however if it opens up Jim will be the first to know.
In the meantime Jim needs to look for money, must be cash, in case the market opens up.
Two days later, the friend calls. The white man is taking 3kgs the next weekend. Both of them will deliver 1 and a half kg at a price of 1.8m kshs (18k USD) each. Jim doesn’t have that kind of money. He is determined not to miss on the profits though. He aplies for a bank loan, withdraws savings and sells the Subaru. Boom, 1.8m!
That weekend they plan to meet at their usual joint. by 4 PM pm Jim has arrived.The money tucked securely in his jacket. Unfortunately the friend is nowhere to be seen; he later calls to inform him that his father is unwell and he had to rush him to the hospital. Nothing to worry though he has made all plans, called the woman and the white man, Jim can go ahead and do the transaction himself. He’s been there enough times to do it alone.
He quickly hires a self-drive car and heads to the grocery woman picks the package and pays for it. Now he just need to drive to the white man…
Stay with me here dear reader…
There’s a slight problem. The white man has an urgent engagement that needs his attention. He’ll be available at 10 PM. Jim is worried, he has 1.5kg of drugs in the car - he might get caught. So he heads home waiting for the important call from the white man to make the delivery.
10 PM nothing…
11 PM nothing…
He’s getting impatient he calls the friend. He’s informed the white man is still engaged.
12 AM nothing.
At 1 AM he’s informed it’s late, they will meet the next day.
At 1 PM the next day, the important call arrives, but he’s told that the white man’s urgent thing has taken him to Mombasa city (a city almost 600kms away). The transactions will be completed the next day.
By now Jim is safely keeping the 1.5 keys under his pillow :slight_smile:
The next day, the calls comes. There’s troubling news. Apparently authorities have sniffed the white man’s business and they’re after him. So he’s going back to his home country for two weeks. Dear old Jim has to hold on to the stash for that long.
Two weeks pass by, devastating news, the authorities are hot on the white man’s heels. He’s not coming back to the country for three months… Poor Jim decides to open the package and sniff some. He’s depressed, one sniff will take the edge off.

Something is wrong. He’s never sniffed the white stuff before but it feels wrong.
He tastes it: WHEAT FLOUR!
And that’s how Jim ended up eating chapatis worth 1.8m Kshs.

Clickbait. Interesting story though.

tuliona kabla virgins wafike 72

Kabla ya Berlin conference.

Ulisahau kucopy 'like this’ picha aiseh.wewe na @sunnymango ni mandugu ama? He beat you to the repost story:D:D:D:D:D:D

ata mbicha ya ndorras hakuna??

Moral of the story: men should avoid talking to strange men in clubs

Precisely,or better still talk to strange ladies in clubs

This story first came out during the reign of San Ballat