Way back when I was a fourth former at Usuu Secondary School in Kitui, we were about to close school for the August holidays. We were informed at Friday assembly that the school needs to buy a new school bus. Each student was to return with Ksh 300 each and any extra money in case one came with a cheque would be given back to the student. I saw a lot of shiney eyes at the opportunity to make some easy cash especially those whose dads were stingy with pocket money.
Come the holidays and I descended to Nairobi with my paraffin boosted hormones. By the way who said paraffin was a libido killer? Anywhooo kufika mtaani napata mboch mpya anakaa ameiva mkambodia yellow yellow. Alikua ameambiwa na land kama @uwesmake na pukusu shepart in tow so nafaa kupata ma pocha zimeiva. Kalikua kamezipika vipoa sana mpaka nikamshow hizo pocha ni some of the best nimemanga. Kakacheka kakasema aki asande nimepulahi sana. Nikajiambia haka ni kamshamba nikaenda na maboys hapo karibu Kenya poly pub ilikua inaitwa Blue Eating House kukunywa murats.
For the remaining few weeks nilihustle hapo mtaani kwa ma neighbor nikapata pesa poa za school bus. Nikajua 3rd term nitakua king wa nusu mkate shule (Babuon was not the first nusu mkate holder). At the same time my hormones zikaanza kuona mboch anakua more beautiful by the day. Nampigia tu story story hivi kanacheka cheka. Siku moja nikiingia home, nikienda bedroom nikampata akitoka kuoga. Tukipitana kwa corridor ufisi ikaniambia mshike rasa akipita. Nikashika kakacheka, “Aki Some Say, unakua na mcheso mbaya.” Nikajua hii lazima nimange.
So ikakua mission yangu kila day nikimpata ako solo namdara naskia poa. Tu hormones tuna rage kama wathi wa mukamba hapo Kwa Muli mlolongo. A few days before tufungue chuo akaniuliza hizi pesa unakusanya ni za nini? Nikamshow ni za school bus. Mimi na ufala zangu nikamshow the excess ni yangu ya mfuko. Tumacho tukashine kama za pastor ameona sadaka basket imejaa. The wannabe ufisi in me ikanishow hio info nimempatia lazima nijilipe na kumdara. Kidogo akaona mtree iko imara kama fimbo ya Mo1. Nikamshow ashike askie. Akashika na saa hizo anakaa shy shy hivi anaangalia down. Nikamshow before chuo zifunguliwe lazima anipatie akacheka tu.
Looking back kumbe alienda aka scheme vile anaweza kupata a slice of the cash. Following day mathe akaenda roundi zake nikaachwa hapo kwa hao na mboch. Nikaenda kumdara tena akanishow nimsaidie na 300 bob na atanipatia. Nikaskia mtree imesimama ikachapa salute kama ma kurutu wa GSU parade. Hio head ya down ikanishow hio ni deal poa. Tukaenda kwa bedroom yake nikaona anaangalia calendar na mimi hapo na ma haga nimejibamba niaje. Akanishow ningoje hapo nje ataniita. Nikatoka ningoje.
A few minutes later akanishow kuja. Nikampata amelala kwa bed. Akaniambia kuja nikupatie haraka kabala mathe akuje. Nikampandilia. Najaribu kupandish skirt hataki. Ati wewe toa uingize. Sikuwaste time mtree hiooooo nje. Akasongesha skirt juu but siwes ona comer but who cares this is the chance of a lifetime. Nikaingiza nikaona amefungua macho zikakaa kama za owl imeamka. Nikajua tarimbo iko size smarta. Nikasindilia mdogo mdogo naskia anatoa sauti za rattle snake ssss…ssss…ssss. One minute later nikamwaga. Akanishow hio yako ni tamu. Ego ilifika Pluto hio siku. Nikampatia hio excess cash 300bob ya walk nilikua nimechanga.
Following day nikafyeka nikajua hii nimejishindia kumbe alikua anataka the remaining Ksh 300. Ufisi ikanishow since namanga dwy fwy nikampatia. Nitahustle another 300 bob si shida. Wapi! Ilibidi nikirudi shule nipatiane pocket money yangu na my dreams of having bread kila siku zikaisha. And thats how I became a man.