How highschool transformed me

I grew up as a very humble and obedient boy courtesy of my mum who was a strict disciplinarian and whose rules I always followed to the later. However, these perspectives quickly started vanishing when I got to high school and can’t attribute that to adolescence or puberty (as @gashwin would say) but rather natural selection. I went to a school in Western where harassment was the norm from the teachers to prefects and fellow students. I won’t call that bullying since stories that I heard from people who schooled in Central and Nyanza were chilling. Nikiwa pale form one on the second day which happened to be a Wednesday, the school program required us to go to academic clubs. Kama bado na badilisha nguo from formal uniform to sports attire prefect on duty asha ingia na kutuchora majina as form ones defying the school routine. Later on punishment ilikua kufagia form four class after preps, I cursed and swore never to find myself in such a predicament and felt that was outright manipulation. From that day whenever cornered by a prefect I always gave a fictitious combination of my name and would smile inwardly when the name was called at assembly or during class hours looking for the culprit. After like a week we had our first P.E lesson which followed lunch. As usual extensive physicals beckon hunger and tukaishia lunch five minutes earlier and met with the deputy head teacher who also doubled up as the discipline master and the basketball coach patrolling the dining hall area. The old guard made us do press-ups and squats the entire lunch period and by the time he released us for lunch food was almost getting finished. From that experience I swore when cornered by a teacher and a benefit of doubt opportunity exists, I will maximize on it. As a result, whenever I saw a teacher and knew was in any shit I would take off to avade the resultant punishment.

I was fortunate to sleep in a dormitory where a majority of the house mates were people from home starting from the house prefects and got the lightest of works in the duty allocation. Another thing I realized that it was the form twos and threes who were fond of harassing and manipulating us as form ones. In order to beat this I joined the rugby team and used to go for practice and roadwork outside the school most of the time and was rarely near the idlers. One time after coming from the pitch I found a form two carrying my water to go and shower yet I had specifically set it aside for after games. I tried to tell the nigger but he told me off “Form one unaniambia nini?” Looking at the guy the nigger was a vocal Nairobian with no body mass nor stamina which had been compensated through his vocal antics. The insultive response that degraded me to a labourer flared me up and I gave him a resounding slap hadi basin ika anguka. He tried to return the favor and I blocked, next I spear tackled him tuka angukia basin breaking it, as I rained blows on him. By the time we were being separated by the headboy jamaa had a bleeding mouth and a bump under the eye. The head boy was a Nairobian so tukifanya kesi akanilemea and passed sentence ninunulie mjinga mkate two weeks ama niende suspension ya two weeks to which I opted for the former. By the end of evening preps rumour had spread over the whole form one and two classes about a form one who had beaten the coolest Nairobian in the school (Alvo) and made nobody to dare cross my paths within the form ones and two classes as I also made friends with a number of the form threes.

        On getting to my dormitory that evening I told my custodian who was a weak form three and a bookworm who kept assuring me that the path I chose (physical confrontations) wouldn’t see me long in that school (His predictions came to pass later on, hekaya for another day). I decided to seek the help of a form four from home who advised me to buy no one loaf and infact ask for the suspension and see if I would be sent home. He told me the worst I could get for fighting Alvo was corporal punishment in the form of manual work and strokes while he (ALvo) risked a suspension for bullying a form one. Hapo sasa kichwa ikakuwa ngumu kama Banta (Banno). Next morning Alvo amenikujia, “Form one loaf yangu?” Nkamshow “tulia nakuletea” and went to the canteen with my cup of porridge never to be seen until break time. Break time he came with the head boy nikawashow wacha tu niende suspension. Mimi sifanyi kazi ni afford aje kununulia mtu mkate wiki mbili mzima ?. Saa hio my form three amekunja mkia urging me to settle the issue outside the administration. Nikaita my form four friend (Ivan). Yeye alikua mtu wa Marigo (@Koolibah can relate)  aka waambia “Kama Alvo hangeiba maji vita haingekua so kesi peleka tu mbele hata sisi tutaitwa kama witnesses”. The case died a natural death.

        From that incident my arrogance and daredevilness grew to unprecedented levels and I also learned how to evade the system. When cornered after lying my name due to my semi-celebrity status by a prefect before a teacher or in class nakausha macho na kusema sio mimi (We had no snitches in our class). Kuna a form two prefect aliwai ni forward mara mbili nikikana but the second time nlichapwa fimbo kadhaa. After hapo nka mshow “closing day will be waiting for you with my home gang kwa stage ya gari za katch (Kakamega) and will ensure you kneel and make pressups in town”.  He tried to threaten me that he will forward me before closing day and I will get expelled, I told him an expulsion will make me go to another school but he would never set foot in town coz he would regret his entire life” from that confrontation he never crossed my path again.

One day while on holidays in form two there was a matatu that used to collect passengers in front of my mum’s shop. One day while supplies were being delivered the matatu driver was told by the lorry driver atoe gari mzigo iingie in a rough and crude way aka kataa. My mum tried to talk to him manamba aka anza matusi. Mimi kuona mzazi ametusiwa nikasema huyu ataona wenda wazimu wangu leo. Nka ambia abiria shukeni hii gari ama atoe gari hapa juu kile ntafanya mtu asinilaumu. Other passengers pleaded with him to move forward, others rebuked me while the tout and driver asked me “kwani utafanya nini”. Beside me there was a used plastic cooking oil container that I used to scoop dirty water from the roadside and poured it inside the matatu! Abiria wote wakashuka cursing. Dereva na manamba wakashuka coming to beat me the manamba and some abiria taking the lead. Nka anza kukimbilia lorry saa hio rende ya mtu kama tano inanifuata. Manamba kunifikia nkavuta mbao ya 3X1 the supplies lorry and hit his knees. Jamaa alianguka na nduru umati ukasimama. Abiria mmoja akajaribu kunisongea and I raised it in anticipation of hitting him too aka tulia pia. Sa hio watu wameanza kujazana around hapo nika okota two mean looking stones na kusema mtu anisongee askilie kwa mwili. Hapo mzazi intervened jamaa akatoa gari issuing threats za kunitafuta na makanga wa town. Later on mzazi alinikalisha chini and warned me me physical confrontations na watu unlearned but me naona tu yeye anaogopa wajinga. To this day nkiwa county we meet often meet with the driver and makanga tunapitana but heshima ilidumu.

My best friend in high school was called Rueben, a classmate and a hommie too. Sa kuna siku tukiwa shule Reuben tells me how he has missed chapatti (ngozi) to which I also agree that I hadn’t tasted chapo in a long time. Since half-term was approaching tukapiga hesabu ya kama kshs 250 we buy two kg of unga tujipikie chapati juu za kununua hazingetushibisha halafu tukule to our fill and sneak the remainder to school (Our school had forbade cooked food) and sell for ten each calculating an average of 250 from the venture. We bought all the ingredients and started well hadi chapo kama tano zikawa ready, kuonja ya kwanza we realize salt has been very inadequate. Hapo sasa chumvi ikaongezwa kwa unga poa, the next chapatti was too salty and with no money to buy additional wheat flour and neutralize the salt, we had to add grade two maize flour. When the first good tasting chapatti was ready, it was too sweet due to the maize flour but very rough in texture and hard to command a good market price. By the time ilikauka ilikua inavunjika kama sacrament As a result we were forced to eat our chapatis and ended up throwing away a good number of them, investment went down the drain.

In spite of my crocodile skin when it came to dealing with cretins, I was very shy of women and never had a real girlfriend as most were local penpals until form two. Our sister school had very many beautiful girls some from my primary school who readily presented themselves and gave me subtle hints but was too shy to take the cues, something that I really regret to this day. There was two Lillian and Cate that even came to visit me at home in the name of exchanging papers but my stupid self couldn’t muster the courage to set the ball rolling. I finally got my first girlfriend in form two (Purity) but was not so good looking hence I didn’t fancy her and she gave up several un-replied letters. I also had a lady in the neighbourhood who sent me snacks and letters but since she was from a day school I didn’t feel her. Our class motto was while while your laboring with dry spells in boarding school her day school boyfriend was chewing her. I found my second girlfriend in the December holidays of form two who was very beautiful and more of a trophy girlfriend (Caren) but this one passed me through the real relationship kilns. I was too much into her while she was into a campus guy (MMUST) and made me harbor several painful sleepless nights. My experiences with her taught me so much and defined my perspective of love such that by the time I was joining campus two years later most girls told me am not serious or I had a girlfriend. Several years down the line I went home last December and met her with two kids and her radiant beauty a pale shadow of her former glory years.

Summary please kwa wenye watasoma

[SIZE=1]Bwana ya Makena ndio huyu[/SIZE]

:D:D:D umeona nki whine mahali hapo? Tembeza diab

Great read. Hio ni chuo gani, Makhokho?

Mbona umeunganisha hekaya tatu tofauti? Nice narration skills Mr ruffneck

swafi ruffneck,lakini hii ingekuwa a real village ningekuwa nimechapa wewe

What’s the volume of your stomach (in cubic meters)

niaje shemeji? Kwani mamods walikulemea kabisa?

pewa like…good stuff and narration

Makokhwe mixed day and boarding


Panyaste mtu mdogo uli shindwa ikabidi ukunje mkia na kuita yeye my friend mimi ndo utaweza. With your 130 kgs of whale blubber I would buy my time and extract fat for value addition and selling. Niaje synonym ya North Eastern?

watu hawataki umakena hapa

Write a novel

maybe a podcast

Hekaya swaf though plot inapiga zigzag kiasi


:smiley: :smiley: Hii scene nimeiona livelive through my brain.

Nice writing skills old badger