sijui kama iko.maana fiche but when you get a wife and kids,they will always use the back seat/sit
Hiyo apana vspot…must be kings cup…vspot iko pale gatitu as you exit thika near the intersection ya thika na garissa highway
So natoka sides za Meru on my way to Nrb on a Sunday. Right before Thika wife calls me ati stima imepotea home. Ni sunday kajioni so namwambia ntachelewa kufika home but reality is that badala ya kwenda home in a blackout i decide to sip one for the rd hapo Thika. Naingilia hapo Porkies alley and i see a pub playing reggae. Sikumbuki jina poa but its right before Rwambogo. It had reggae bunners for sunday reggae. Club V-spot or something nimesahau. 1st red flag is kuambiwa entry ni beers mbili kisha stamp kwa mkono. No biggie. Nashika Heineken zangu mbili na kwenda juu kabisa at the roof top. Nashika meza mzima solo. Ndani ni vijana wa odi akina @johntez addi gaza msafi , @Dzunza wanashikisha keg, chrome na muguka. No biggie. Sisi wote ni wanati. After afew mins a lady accompanied by two young men come to the roof top wameshika vinywaji. They ask if i mind them joining my table. Nasema its no biggie. Girl sits next to me on my right, two guys sit on the other side of the round table. Kila mtu ako starehe zake. I note that the two guys are not engaging the lady. Shes on her phone through out. Afew mins later… @kanguthu comes na zile sanduku za samosa anauliza kama kuna msee anataka. I like to promote those hustlers hata kama samosa ni ya waru na dengu na nyama ya paka. I order one and tell him to ask the other fellows if they are interested on my bill. Vijana wanachangamkia Samosa pia dem. Kila samosa ni 30bob. When the girl tells me thank you i seize the moment to break the silence. Nikamuuliza mbona habongi na maboy wamekuja na yeye and which one among the two is her boyfriend…ni kumpima tu. She says hao maboy wametoka village moja huko Kandara na wamekutana tao leo wakaamua kuja kumeza moja. She adds that ni watoto sana hawezi date either of them. Baaas!!! Nikajua hapa ni kurusha mtama. Tunaongea hivi ananishow she just came from ocha in kandara and she has just broken up with her baby daddy due to infidelity. Ma pole za vako hivi and am giving her a shoulder to cry on. Tukaanza ma story namchocha how cute she is… na minyambo mingi ya punda. Truth is that she was a 5/10 na alikuwa anang’oa excess but sikujali kwani hata maji machafu huzima moto na mchagua kuma si mtombaji. Ikafika almost 10pm akasema she has to leave for work. Akasema she works like 15mins walk away in a small kibandaski na its her duty kuwekelea githeri kwa jiko usiku ndio iive pole pole hadi asubuhi. Nikamuuliza if she mind nimpee lift. (It was a trick to isolate her from the boys).Akasema sawa. Pia maboy wakajitoa kivyao so me na dem tukaingia kwa Jalopy yangu. Less than 5 mins tuko kwa site. She tells me to wait in the car awashe jiko aekelee githeri then she will come back. Vile vibe ilikuwa kwa bar nikawa 50/50 naweza chota huyo dem. So nikakimbia across the streets and bought CD just incase. Dem akakuja after like 45mins. She insisted we cant go back to the club coz ako job morning. So nikamuuliza kama anaweza nitolea mpango for the night. Akaanza blah blah blah ati we plan for next time coz we just met today. Nikamshow that i really like her and i want to see her again so it wont matter akinipee leo au next time. Nikaanza kumdara pole pole akiwa front sit. Nikaingiza mkono kwa senye nikasikia already iko wet na dem ashaanza kupumua na nguvu. So nikaruka kwa back sit. I did this to gauge her. Nikiruka kwa sit ya nyuma then the girl follows me najua bet imeiva. Akikataa kuja nyuma najua bet imeungua. Akakataa at first coz ati oooh “we just met today hata hajui status yako”…hapo hapo nikamshow i also don’t know her status but we can use a condom and everyone is safe. Showed her the brand new pack of CD and promised her we test next time we meet. This seemed to assure her that i was a serious guy and there is hope for meeting again. Dem akavukia hapo kwa center console akakuja kwa back seat. Hiyo inakuwanga moment of no return. Hapo hapo ni kumrukia kama simba. Car is well tinted rear windows hata ukiwa na macho ya paka huwezi ona ndani. Nilikula yeye shot moja ya haraka. Didn’t get a PNC coz it was a clean deal. None lanye. I actually felt like a conquerer for the quickest same day lay. After shot ndio tunabadilishana number and get her name. Simkumpee yangu…and no i didn’t contact her after that. Didn’t wanna open a can of worms. Kuma ya 30bob hata wewe utakataa? Hata pombe sikumnunulia. Other good news is that sijakula lanye hii mwaka. Am hitting on regular girls online and on the ground.
Whatever this chap says and claims i believe, karibu tusalimiane kwenye kiwanja ingine
So natoka sides za Meru on my way to Nrb on a Sunday. Right before Thika wife calls me ati stima imepotea home. Ni sunday kajioni so namwambia ntachelewa kufika home but reality is that badala ya kwenda home in a blackout i decide to sip one for the rd hapo Thika. Naingilia hapo Porkies alley and i see a pub playing reggae. Sikumbuki jina poa but its right before Rwambogo. It had reggae bunners for sunday reggae. Club V-spot or something nimesahau. 1st red flag is kuambiwa entry ni beers mbili kisha stamp kwa mkono. No biggie. Nashika Heineken zangu mbili na kwenda juu kabisa at the roof top. Nashika meza mzima solo. Ndani ni vijana wa odi akina @johntez addi gaza msafi , @Dzunza wanashikisha keg, chrome na muguka. No biggie. Sisi wote ni wanati. After afew mins a lady accompanied by two young men come to the roof top wameshika vinywaji. They ask if i mind them joining my table. Nasema its no biggie. Girl sits next to me on my right, two guys sit on the other side of the round table. Kila mtu ako starehe zake. I note that the two guys are not engaging the lady. Shes on her phone through out. Afew mins later… @kanguthu comes na zile sanduku za samosa anauliza kama kuna msee anataka. I like to promote those hustlers hata kama samosa ni ya waru na dengu na nyama ya paka. I order one and tell him to ask the other fellows if they are interested on my bill. Vijana wanachangamkia Samosa pia dem. Kila samosa ni 30bob. When the girl tells me thank you i seize the moment to break the silence. Nikamuuliza mbona habongi na maboy wamekuja na yeye and which one among the two is her boyfriend…ni kumpima tu. She says hao maboy wametoka village moja huko Kandara na wamekutana tao leo wakaamua kuja kumeza moja. She adds that ni watoto sana hawezi date either of them. Baaas!!! Nikajua hapa ni kurusha mtama. Tunaongea hivi ananishow she just came from ocha in kandara and she has just broken up with her baby daddy due to infidelity. Ma pole za vako hivi and am giving her a shoulder to cry on. Tukaanza ma story namchocha how cute she is… na minyambo mingi ya punda. Truth is that she was a 5/10 na alikuwa anang’oa excess but sikujali kwani hata maji machafu huzima moto na mchagua kuma si mtombaji. Ikafika almost 10pm akasema she has to leave for work. Akasema she works like 15mins walk away in a small kibandaski na its her duty kuwekelea githeri kwa jiko usiku ndio iive pole pole hadi asubuhi. Nikamuuliza if she mind nimpee lift. (It was a trick to isolate her from the boys).Akasema sawa. Pia maboy wakajitoa kivyao so me na dem tukaingia kwa Jalopy yangu. Less than 5 mins tuko kwa site. She tells me to wait in the car awashe jiko aekelee githeri then she will come back. Vile vibe ilikuwa kwa bar nikawa 50/50 naweza chota huyo dem. So nikakimbia across the streets and bought CD just incase. Dem akakuja after like 45mins. She insisted we cant go back to the club coz ako job morning. So nikamuuliza kama anaweza nitolea mpango for the night. Akaanza blah blah blah ati we plan for next time coz we just met today. Nikamshow that i really like her and i want to see her again so it wont matter akinipee leo au next time. Nikaanza kumdara pole pole akiwa front sit. Nikaingiza mkono kwa senye nikasikia already iko wet na dem ashaanza kupumua na nguvu. So nikaruka kwa back sit. I did this to gauge her. Nikiruka kwa sit ya nyuma then the girl follows me najua bet imeiva. Akikataa kuja nyuma najua bet imeungua. Akakataa at first coz ati oooh “we just met today hata hajui status yako”…hapo hapo nikamshow i also don’t know her status but we can use a condom and everyone is safe. Showed her the brand new pack of CD and promised her we test next time we meet. This seemed to assure her that i was a serious guy and there is hope for meeting again. Dem akavukia hapo kwa center console akakuja kwa back seat. Hiyo inakuwanga moment of no return. Hapo hapo ni kumrukia kama simba. Car is well tinted rear windows hata ukiwa na macho ya paka huwezi ona ndani. Nilikula yeye shot moja ya haraka. Didn’t get a PNC coz it was a clean deal. None lanye. I actually felt like a conquerer for the quickest same day lay. After shot ndio tunabadilishana number and get her name. Simkumpee yangu…and no i didn’t contact her after that. Didn’t wanna open a can of worms. Kuma ya 30bob hata wewe utakataa? Hata pombe sikumnunulia. Other good news is that sijakula lanye hii mwaka. Am hitting on regular girls online and on the ground.
as a risk analyst i conclude you made very risky/bad decisions for a return not worth it.
1- uli risk kupigwa mchele moja heavy
next time just avoid those THIKA mungikis wake kando
memories …Rwambogo is where i nailed some street gal back in the days…
Venye hekaya imeanza I felt like something was bound to go wrong. Club, dem with company, she pretends not to be part of company and she starts engaging you.
Hehe thambutha all the wei!
Dzunza
June 21, 2022, 5:25pm
29
@MTINGIZA KITANDA!!! hekaya iko on point, lakini mimi sio mutu ya keg banae
uwesmake:
as a risk analyst i conclude you made very risky/bad decisions for a return not worth it.
1- uli risk kupigwa mchele moja heavy
next time just avoid those THIKA mungikis wake kando
Bro everything is a risk in life. Wewe kukanyanga nje ya nyumba yako unaweza kanyanga msogoro uanguke upasuke kichwa, ama uchotwe na gari…best we can do is to be careful . Been in the streets long enough to smell a rat from miles away. Plus i always carry something to defend myself.
PNC tho hits me for various reasons
So natoka sides za Meru on my way to Nrb on a Sunday. Right before Thika wife calls me ati stima imepotea home. Ni sunday kajioni so namwambia ntachelewa kufika home but reality is that badala ya kwenda home in a blackout i decide to sip one for the rd hapo Thika. Naingilia hapo Porkies alley and i see a pub playing reggae. Sikumbuki jina poa but its right before Rwambogo. It had reggae bunners for sunday reggae. Club V-spot or something nimesahau. 1st red flag is kuambiwa entry ni beers mbili kisha stamp kwa mkono. No biggie. Nashika Heineken zangu mbili na kwenda juu kabisa at the roof top. Nashika meza mzima solo. Ndani ni vijana wa odi akina @johntez addi gaza msafi , @Dzunza wanashikisha keg, chrome na muguka. No biggie. Sisi wote ni wanati. After afew mins a lady accompanied by two young men come to the roof top wameshika vinywaji. They ask if i mind them joining my table. Nasema its no biggie. Girl sits next to me on my right, two guys sit on the other side of the round table. Kila mtu ako starehe zake. I note that the two guys are not engaging the lady. Shes on her phone through out. Afew mins later… @kanguthu comes na zile sanduku za samosa anauliza kama kuna msee anataka. I like to promote those hustlers hata kama samosa ni ya waru na dengu na nyama ya paka. I order one and tell him to ask the other fellows if they are interested on my bill. Vijana wanachangamkia Samosa pia dem. Kila samosa ni 30bob. When the girl tells me thank you i seize the moment to break the silence. Nikamuuliza mbona habongi na maboy wamekuja na yeye and which one among the two is her boyfriend…ni kumpima tu. She says hao maboy wametoka village moja huko Kandara na wamekutana tao leo wakaamua kuja kumeza moja. She adds that ni watoto sana hawezi date either of them. Baaas!!! Nikajua hapa ni kurusha mtama. Tunaongea hivi ananishow she just came from ocha in kandara and she has just broken up with her baby daddy due to infidelity. Ma pole za vako hivi and am giving her a shoulder to cry on. Tukaanza ma story namchocha how cute she is… na minyambo mingi ya punda. Truth is that she was a 5/10 na alikuwa anang’oa excess but sikujali kwani hata maji machafu huzima moto na mchagua kuma si mtombaji. Ikafika almost 10pm akasema she has to leave for work. Akasema she works like 15mins walk away in a small kibandaski na its her duty kuwekelea githeri kwa jiko usiku ndio iive pole pole hadi asubuhi. Nikamuuliza if she mind nimpee lift. (It was a trick to isolate her from the boys).Akasema sawa. Pia maboy wakajitoa kivyao so me na dem tukaingia kwa Jalopy yangu. Less than 5 mins tuko kwa site. She tells me to wait in the car awashe jiko aekelee githeri then she will come back. Vile vibe ilikuwa kwa bar nikawa 50/50 naweza chota huyo dem. So nikakimbia across the streets and bought CD just incase. Dem akakuja after like 45mins. She insisted we cant go back to the club coz ako job morning. So nikamuuliza kama anaweza nitolea mpango for the night. Akaanza blah blah blah ati we plan for next time coz we just met today. Nikamshow that i really like her and i want to see her again so it wont matter akinipee leo au next time. Nikaanza kumdara pole pole akiwa front sit. Nikaingiza mkono kwa senye nikasikia already iko wet na dem ashaanza kupumua na nguvu. So nikaruka kwa back sit. I did this to gauge her. Nikiruka kwa sit ya nyuma then the girl follows me najua bet imeiva. Akikataa kuja nyuma najua bet imeungua. Akakataa at first coz ati oooh “we just met today hata hajui status yako”…hapo hapo nikamshow i also don’t know her status but we can use a condom and everyone is safe. Showed her the brand new pack of CD and promised her we test next time we meet. This seemed to assure her that i was a serious guy and there is hope for meeting again. Dem akavukia hapo kwa center console akakuja kwa back seat. Hiyo inakuwanga moment of no return. Hapo hapo ni kumrukia kama simba. Car is well tinted rear windows hata ukiwa na macho ya paka huwezi ona ndani. Nilikula yeye shot moja ya haraka. Didn’t get a PNC coz it was a clean deal. None lanye. I actually felt like a conquerer for the quickest same day lay. After shot ndio tunabadilishana number and get her name. Simkumpee yangu…and no i didn’t contact her after that. Didn’t wanna open a can of worms. Kuma ya 30bob hata wewe utakataa? Hata pombe sikumnunulia. Other good news is that sijakula lanye hii mwaka. Am hitting on regular girls online and on the ground.
One of the best hekaya. Although hamna efitens it was well narrated.
The shyt i learn in this village. Hekaya swafii.