Kwa tumiaka kadhaa nimeishi, I have gathered friends and colleagues of all sorts. I have sat down with men who never had an idea how those divorce papers hit them; Or how a long time girlfriend/fiancee/wife left them and how they never saw it coming;
And this is how they argue: I have given that woman everything(read money and wealth). She never lacks nothing.
I have no idea how or why every each of these men always think a woman will stay when there’s money.
There’s always more to money. Again I say, not unless the man is very naive and has a very low self esteem; then the only way he thinks a woman will stick by him is if he rained cash or if he attracted one of those gold-digging college wapita njias.
My point, to avoid all these;(as cliche as it may sound)
Be there for your woman(listen to her, make time for chitty chats). Assign time for “family”, make goals together
Dont make money the sole ruler of your lives…don’t let yourself apologize with gifts and cash(it will bite you in the ass someday, trust me). Sometimes all one needs is a hug for comfort, not a bank account
Appreciate her for the little things she does.
Be friends…ukiwa na tu shida hivi hivi; share together. She’s also human and she will learn to trust you
Ukishindwa, then please don’t commit(let her know she’s just a ferk-mate who empties your balls).
Coz once you do that and kids start flowing; utajipata court hearings ndio zako. So umebaki ukishangaa how it all came to this and you never saw it coming coz “you gave her everything”.
Kidogo, you are now an alcoholic terming every woman “a gold digger”, Having issues with single mums, blogging of how “there are no good women left”. And you are spending all your hard earned money in child support.
Men take providing to show they care for you. After all, if i didnt care/love you would i give you the cars, jewellery and such?
These men you speak of care for the women but arent the kind to tell you “i love you” everyday be all mushy and guys of PDA.
So me buying you a benz is an affirmation of my love for you not that i think you are with me just because of my money. After all, dont women want some financial security in their lives? A man to step up in that role of providing?
Sure, we can listen more but i bet those same guys who were divorced arent guys who subscribe to the newage romance of being very open and communicating their feelings.
So what is the man going to do now??? Look for money to keep us afloat and living nice, or spend all time cuddling and being all emotional? I would say money will keep you in control. Otherwise, you will always be begging for everything. Ata kupikiwa chai.
Not per say …all @trish is saying make your wife feel adored/cherished , trust me little things do matter to women …
@nairobilay …what is the use of buying that benz if she can’t even carry you with it as you go for an afternoon gig :)or a barbeque
You realise most of the guys provide everything but from friday they will be with the boys, Sato nursing hangovers …jioni out again
with mpango wa kando …n who shags the wife then since ???the hubbys are M.I.A and most are in their 30s very demanding sexually
Am not saying that total neglect works. Am just saying that the man cant be everything everywhere. I also do not support the idea that the man works for the whole week and the spends the whole weekend in a bar. If that the case bibi ni wa nini? In fact, I KNOW long distance relationships never work, even if its a marriage. You got to be there and you got to take trust in moderation. But a man gotta be with boys one time or another.
You’ve clearly missed the point. I didnt mean that a couple should just sit and cuddle for the rest of their lives.
Mwanaume ni kujipanga. Do you not know there are men who can juggle a job, family and school? Keep all these balanced? Or you’ll say men dont multitask?
Well, if one cant balance work and family, then one needs not to settle till he’s mature enough kujipanga.
Am very sure the 1st thing a woman enquires from a guy before moving in is his ability to provide…hii nyef nyef ingine ya cuddling comes after. How many men have we seen been divorced after their pockets run dry. Money makes a man…
Unfortunately most men doing well financially have problems giving attention to two things at the same time. believe me on that one. I will say that if a woman wants all that balance, just dont go for the well off ones. Just aim at people in regular jobs where they work 8 to four/five and leave early on fridays and arent ambitious. they have a lot of time to cuddle, but you will also have to work your ass off to make things work. If you want that man with his own stuff and is doing well, you should understand that he puts alot of time and effort into that thing of his. Its a give and take.
Sometimes its the little things that matter. Not the benz or the house. A man must try. The world is plunging us into very busy schedules that see both partners hustle till late nights. So if one is committed to make his marriage work, then those "“i love you" everyday be all mushy and guys of PDA” stuff will have to be on the menu list
If you are both very busy, it means he isnt that much moneid. I thought we were originally talking abt men with money not finding time for their women?
Although if I were to give my take, I would say that your things are a much more worth an investment than another human, especially a female one. Humans are sorry beings.
All I see here is women being all abt themselves. Why dont I see the the other side of the coin? This is why I think a man should never take women seriously. A man should be ready for anything and never really trust a woman. never.
Me and I - I dont bother any man for my upkeep or anything financial. I do it myself. Infact, I cant take any man’s money. I like the feel when I do it myself. The thought 'yeah, women can do better’ Thank God I have a salary . And thats Freedom!