Hekaya by Standard Newspaper

A top model recently declined an invite to a bout of mischief by a Nairobi mogul in exchange for a Range Rover.
According to the model, a former ‘Miss’ something, the businessman called her into his office and handed over keys of a new Range Rover telling her it was all hers if she was willing to have sex with him.
Shocked, the beauty queen, declined the offer saying she was in a committed relationship. “He even promised to buy me a house among other things. For over 30 minutes, he pleaded with me and made advances before I stormed out. Later, he wrote me an SMS and told me to forget the issue as he was ashamed.”

Below is the mbisha they have put in the story as evidence

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Standard (i only buy it for the codeword and simple crossword!) ndiyo kiongozi kwa hekaya

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Wewe hukusoma page 3 where Nyeri traders are counting loses after investing lots of cheddar in buying stocks for the beatification lakini watu hawakununua. Like the lady who borrowed 100k lakini made 1500

am not surprised…wengi wameungua kwa hiyo beatification…but at least nyeri town that had been steadily going to seed since the coming of the county government got some beautification.

Lets create a post for it n not derail this

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Hapo ndo mtu hutafuta kamba.

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Why? Coz of losing everything to a point of being auctioned? No.

The bible says: unless a seed falleth to the ground and rot, it cannot germinate into that big tree held within the seed. Similarly, unless ufike lowest point in your life, you cannot unleash the giant within. The lowest point always marks the turning point.

Now, back to the hekaya: was the lady Kenyan? If she was, then it is certified for HOYA. If she wasn’t, waweke picha.

Boss, it depends, where is your breaking point. Kuna watu hujiua juu girlfriend amemuacha ama Man-u imeloose game. Mwingine the whole world can crumble around him lakini ako steady.

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I call it East African Shonde. It’s full of gossip, personal opinions and lies.
I get more news listening to Kameme FM for 15 minutes than I do reading a week’s worth of that badly written tabloid:cool:

Well, if someone can commit suicide cos ManU lost, or the boyfriend ferked a whore, then it is okay. Natural selection is real.

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I have a cousin who attempted suicide juu after university, amekaa 2 years bila job. You just can never know what is going through somebodies mind and what can break that mind.


We are in the age of titillation journalism, where the media is trying all it can to entice a growing breed of young people who do not want to read. you have seen them in matatus- a fellow travelling from Eldie to Nai and he is not even bothered to buy a newspaper to read along the way. Even if you lend him one of your two papers he will quickly scan through looking at the pics, then ask you a very silly question, “huyu ni nani wako na Ruto?”- you feel like murdering him coz he is the one with the paper and only needs to read the caption under the picture…Anyway the editors are trying to get them through stories that excite some passion through hekayas, hence the crazy monday stories.


yaani kuwa na kanyau ni poa hivyo @Purr_27 would you have given out yours to get a range rover…i mean its only sex which you’ve had numerous times,the guy probably has a small cock and will cum in 45 seconds.no harm done:):slight_smile:

I personally believe that for the right amount of cash,any woman will happily spread their legs to any man. Even the Arab Oil tycoons have been doing it for ages with American Hollywood stars;unapata ati Beyonce ama Mariah Careh has been paid £2m to sing at the King`s birthday alafu the guy offers another £5m if she will suck his cock. That is an offer even i would find hard to turn down!..and im just a Man on the street!

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You would suck the kings cock???:eek::eek:

For £5 Million i would suck anybodys cock! I bet you would too but you just wont admit it.

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Kabuda tell them thats like Sh700 million. I would suck ALL the royal family’s cocks and ask for seconds.


700m for sucking…unasuck kwani nini.

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Happened to me! Same script different cast…