Fear Thy Neighbours!.... Visa na visanga wakati wa likizo!

I have been working all through Christmas and new year after my truck broke down and juu zote zilikuwa garage, I was left with no choice but to rent a van over the holidays just to clear some jobs.
I hired a Ford Transit Long wheel base mbichi kabisa the new shape for a minimum of two weeks just to get the Christmas discount.

Job zangu ziliwaga early morning and by saa NNE nishamada.

Now I live in a cul de sac ( dead end street) and to say that most of my neighbours are weirdos wouldn’t be inaccurate!..
Most of them are middle aged jungus with the nice sprinkling of weird young families and to meet the Council’s Equal opportunity target I guess me,a crazy Jamaican woman a few doors down the street and as I recently discovered, an Asian man named Aziz are all stuck on this street!..

Me, I just bought the flat juu it was the only place in my city that the bank could give me a mortgage for and I was only too glad to accept it after almost two years of wasting money paying rent and Most lenders wouldn’t even consider my application juu ya kuwa self employed, single etc…


Juzi Mimi Niko hapo najaribu to reverse into my spot when I see this Asian guy approaching me.
I was abit taken aback because I didn’t know there was a “Stani” on my street…( can’t say Paki - it’s offensive!)

Kidogo jamaa akanisalimia ati " salam aleikum brother! Welcome to this street."…

Introduction kiasi and Aziz gets straight to the point with a more somber face ati anadai I help him shift some shyte in my van on the 26th kutoka one city to his house and he makes me a Monertory offer that would make any Shiny Eye blush and salivate!..
The only catch is that me and him leave for the big City together and that I don’t need to know the address to our destination because he will direct me!

Sounded abit suspect but I haven’t had a very good month on the financial front so Fcuk it! …I’m in!

26th kitu saa kumi usiku …Knock knock!!!, ,“It’s time to go brother!..” Aziz called out to me through the letter box.
I’m used to being up at this unholy hour and bila so much as brushing my teeth Niko ready to roll to God knows where with my new Neighbour!

What left a bad taste in my mouth was the other guy that Aziz brought on tow.

I was left thinking yaani I don’t know you very well and now you have an Osama lookalike and we are all going to travel squashed in at the front of a van that is not even registered to me the main driver?!..

Ngai! “What are you getting yourself into, it’s a public holiday and the roads are all deserted” the Nairobian in me thought to myself but it was too late!

Tushafika the big City that I will not name and after mawarosho one million we got into this neighborhood yenye nilijua tu mara that was waislamu wengi wanaishi huko and down back a back alleyway I was told in a very unfriendly tone of voice to reverse into what looked like an abandoned warehouse!

That was the last I saw of Osama looklike and as the shutters to the abandoned looking building went down in front of me after backing up the rental van, what I saw next sent me into my most honoured Christian prayer…!.. !!!

“The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want…!”


It was the sound of an Uzi sub- machine gun rivetting on my door and all I could see was a masked man with what looked like those things they wear wakienda kujilipua!!!

" Aziz, is he okay? Do you trust him?"
The gunman kept asking Aziz my neighbour!..

And that was the last time I saw Aziz alive!..

Part 2 hi baadaye!..

The cops are knocking on my door!..




hehehehehe, hii ni hekaya kabisa kama ile risto ya “gum on the gate”, hapa hakuna kutudanganya its real. Lakini kabuda una tabia mbaya ya kutoa maliza hekaya, ile ya watoi is how?


wachanga ujinga…hizi ni effects zakuwa Mrs waweru! U should have ur head examined.

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Fuck u with your part 2…


Brare chieth maliza hekaya

Previously on Keeping Up With Ka-Buda Kardashian


Tafuta job na Eddie Stobart crew…

Your hastle is ever risky , life full of drama ! Come back to githurai

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Waiting patiently

When the deal sounds too good, think twice! Of all the people with vans living in London why pick on you? Pole kwa msiba, now finish your story. :D:D

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Hehehee. Effects za Brexit.


@ka funda weka hekaya, meffi

part 2 ikam jo

Watchfully waiting.

Malizia hekaya kabudahh

@ka fung’a amewekwa detain. Hekaya hadi next season…

Maheni ta ma mwenja cioro.

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mauongo ka za fundi…

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