So I recently joined an FB group for single mothers, their main problem is just baby daddy. As in these women just want to stress themselves for nothing. If a man has decided to be a sperm donor what is the problem? If he died what would you have done? Si you would have made things happen for your kids?
Personally I have never liked this male worship and learned helplessness women have when it comes to men. Why don’t you rely on God that much? That if the baby sick you text your baby daddy then he insults you and the baby remains sick.
I’ve been through enough in my life to tell you that when you want to do anything that takes courage in life, you have to close your ears to anything and everything that diverts you from your goal. Majority of people will discourage you but guess what happens when you focus on others who are doing it successfully even if they are on youtu.be and not IRL, you get energised, your faith increases and you succeed.
When you become a single mother you have the job of two parents, you do not have any energy to expend on naysayers. On people who tell you how your child is worthless, how it’s expensive, how it’s difficult, how it’s impossible, how you need a sponsor to survive and all such toxic feedback.
Understand this everything you will ever succeed at in life starts in your mind. If you that unshakeable faith that you will do it. You will. In the Bible says nothing is impossible to him who believes. You have to succeed in your mind first. Because just like the Bible says, as a man thinketh so is he. If you believe that you can’t do it. You are right and if you believe that you can, you are also right.
Let’s avoid putting energy into people who are not adding value in our lives or empowering us to meet our goals. I’m tired of victim narratives from women because if God saw you fit to be a mother, He has put all the resources for the job inside you. You are a co creator with God. Ask God for help uachane na abusive baby daddies who are just draining you emotionally.
Nowadays it’s no longer women looking for their baby daddies. It’s men going to court to beg for their names to be appended to the child’s birth certificate. Mwanamke Hana hasara. You single handedly raise your kids, you will get the credit and all the perks. So mambo na pity party and crying over baby daddy is gone, those days are OVER. Mjamaa akikuonyesha Hana haja na watoto, change the names, delete his name from the birth certificate and go before God and make a covenant that from now onwards God its you and I. Dedicate your kids to God and vow to God to raise for Him a godly offspring because God works well with covenants. Even if you don’t have the means no situation is permanent and when you choose to walk with God, nothing is impossible.
Don’t even go for child support. If possible change your number or block your baby daddy. You will see how God will come through for you when you stop worshipping these men and put all your faith in God instead of a man.
We don’t want scenarios where you force a man like Syombua with child support then he kills you and your kids.
We don’t want a situation where you guilt a man to take his kids out for their birthday and then he doesn’t show up and you spoil your kids childhood through disappointment and being let down by an unreliable father.
Women we are so powerful but we like to give away our power to people who don’t deserve even the time of day. Normalise treating sperm donors as sperm donors not as responsible fathers. Trying to cajole them to be responsible. Why? If they died you want to tell me that your kids won’t eat? Of course they will, so why force a man who does not value his own posterity to take up parental responsibility. Leave him alone and focus on your kids. They do not need trauma of you being depressed all the time because you are arguing with their dead beat dad and they don’t need exposure to toxic fathers. Some men want to use your kids as pawns to fight you, don’t give them that power as soon as they show you they are not stepping up to the plate, cut them off completely. Focus on giving your kids the best and raising them in the fear of God. Instead of kufukuzana na ma dead beat up and down like a headless chicken and then you are emotionally out of kilter and your kids who only have you suffer from the drama and stress you are going through thanks to your trying to turn a sperm donor into a responsible dad. Know that now, your priority is your kids and they come first and it’s your job to protect them from toxicity from whichever source by first of all protecting yourself from unnecessary abuse ati because a man got you pregnant and he has just refused to do his part. Treat him as a sperm donor and life goes on. Respect your kids by blocking such negative energy from your lives. With God there’s nothing which is hard. NOTHING. I wish all single mums peace of mind and God’s speed. Your kids will be better than the ones he has taken responsibility for because your kids dad is God. Don’t be stuck in this kind of toxicity.