- Back In campus I had a crush for this cute lady and I really wanted to win over, but competition was very stiff. Kuna mafisi wengine like me who were really after her. Being kind of a shy guy by then, I decided that the best way to express my feelings was to go to the nearest shopping center, buy a 1/4 KC, drown it while strategizing on the approach and activating the fisi mode within. I ended up drinking 2 of those quarter KCs (500ml) and thus was eventually very high. The fisi in me was also now roaring and ready to go!
On the way, I passed by some dean’s office ( cant remember which faculty) and noticed that the door was ajar.(probably someone was working late). I entered into that office and at the reception, i noticed a well arranged set of flowers in a vase. ‘Ha haaa’. I said to myself. ‘I’m gonna impress her with this!’ Without hesitation, i grabbed the flowers vase and disappeared into the night, staggering along but tightly clutching the vase. The fisi in me was now roaring MORE than ever and I started singing the war songs as i approached the would be girlfriend’s hostel. I would notice people laughing, but the drunken mind in me assured me that ‘hawa mafala wanakurecognize! keep it up’. I staggered along, ignoring their giggles.
It was room number 22 and without knocking, I opened the door. Wharrr! Shiat man! My would be chickdee was having a group discussion with her other classmates in her room and they all stared at me and the the vase, like I was some alien from Pluto. hehe. Let me say that you could hear a pin drop. ‘hic’ hic’ ‘Mershy (she was called Mercy) dear (hic)These are for you’ I roared(Hey! Ufisi nayo?):D(kumbe kuna emoticons hapa?)
Mercy recoiled shyly into her bed(which as you all know used to be the seats) and flatly refused to receive my flowers. “Mershy, I bought this purposely for you. Take” I lied boldly.
All of a sudden, the group thundered into one deep laughter, which for a second made me come back to my senses. I felt a cold sensation on my trousers and when i looked down…Shit Men! The water from the vase had poured all over my trousers and it seemed like if i had had a massive kawasaki ‘aided’ ejaculation on me trousers:rolleyes:. The contents of the vase were also stinking and nauseating.
Worse still, without any warning the I puked all over Mercy’s room thus igniting a commotion. At that point, I immediately realized that my well laid plans had failed miserably. With the flower vase still in my hands, I did a Usain Bolt and headed straight to my room and slept.
hehehe. Let me say that the following morning i was pulling off my hair in embarrassment. I discarded the flowers and the vase into the nearest dustbin, packed my clothes and took the earliest Mathree home. Only to return about 3 weeks later having resigned to the fact that i lost the girl:(
Situation number 2. This will come laterz and will be titled ‘The cocktail at Hilton’