Embarrassing things I have done while drunk.

  1. Back In campus I had a crush for this cute lady and I really wanted to win over, but competition was very stiff. Kuna mafisi wengine like me who were really after her. Being kind of a shy guy by then, I decided that the best way to express my feelings was to go to the nearest shopping center, buy a 1/4 KC, drown it while strategizing on the approach and activating the fisi mode within. I ended up drinking 2 of those quarter KCs (500ml) and thus was eventually very high. The fisi in me was also now roaring and ready to go!
    On the way, I passed by some dean’s office ( cant remember which faculty) and noticed that the door was ajar.(probably someone was working late). I entered into that office and at the reception, i noticed a well arranged set of flowers in a vase. ‘Ha haaa’. I said to myself. ‘I’m gonna impress her with this!’ Without hesitation, i grabbed the flowers vase and disappeared into the night, staggering along but tightly clutching the vase. The fisi in me was now roaring MORE than ever and I started singing the war songs as i approached the would be girlfriend’s hostel. I would notice people laughing, but the drunken mind in me assured me that ‘hawa mafala wanakurecognize! keep it up’. I staggered along, ignoring their giggles.
    It was room number 22 and without knocking, I opened the door. Wharrr! Shiat man! My would be chickdee was having a group discussion with her other classmates in her room and they all stared at me and the the vase, like I was some alien from Pluto. hehe. Let me say that you could hear a pin drop. ‘hic’ hic’ ‘Mershy (she was called Mercy) dear (hic)These are for you’ I roared(Hey! Ufisi nayo?):D(kumbe kuna emoticons hapa?)
    Mercy recoiled shyly into her bed(which as you all know used to be the seats) and flatly refused to receive my flowers. “Mershy, I bought this purposely for you. Take” I lied boldly.
    All of a sudden, the group thundered into one deep laughter, which for a second made me come back to my senses. I felt a cold sensation on my trousers and when i looked down…Shit Men! The water from the vase had poured all over my trousers and it seemed like if i had had a massive kawasaki ‘aided’ ejaculation on me trousers:rolleyes:. The contents of the vase were also stinking and nauseating.
    Worse still, without any warning the I puked all over Mercy’s room thus igniting a commotion. At that point, I immediately realized that my well laid plans had failed miserably. With the flower vase still in my hands, I did a Usain Bolt and headed straight to my room and slept.
    hehehe. Let me say that the following morning i was pulling off my hair in embarrassment. I discarded the flowers and the vase into the nearest dustbin, packed my clothes and took the earliest Mathree home. Only to return about 3 weeks later having resigned to the fact that i lost the girl:(:frowning:

Situation number 2. This will come laterz and will be titled ‘The cocktail at Hilton’



Nice but it seems like something i’d see on the internet I hope it’s your work. PLAGIARISM IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH!!!

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Naimagine ukiwa peke yako umeshikilia vase ya flowers ukijiambia ‘Hahaaa!’:D:D

Nataka picha ya a roaring hyena

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Could this Mershy be a talker? I would love to hear her side of the story.


cross breed ya hyena na simba…ata sketch tuu hatutakataa

No hekaya. Its my true original confession.:cool:

hahaha @Brayoo I can imagine hiyo embarrasment ulikua nayo,hope you never used to share lecture halls with her

He he. Nice one!

Tell me about it Man! We shared a few common units but I made sure i either skived most of them or sat as far away as I could. The good thing with the Uni was the expansive spaces so chances of bumping into her were minimal.

Here is mercy,huoni venye amefurahi

haha that roaring fisi should be neutered

na kusiangaa pia. Mimi ningekojolea yeye na kuzaba makofi pa pa pa paaaaa!!!

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hehe…I have been in such a situation, but i didnt fuck up that much like puke n shit. Maze mtu akiwa colle huwa mjinga aje?

tupe hekaya tuskie, boss!!

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kabisa hekaya jamaa tupe

Some fisis friends of mine here will recognise me na vile mi hutaka kukaa incognito. I just might post a small snippet of it.

na ulevi imekuonyesa mengi,imefanya ukamuliwe mkundu,ulambe kuma ikiwa na mwezi na mengineo