C & P
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To a casual observer Tommy Akatch is another well-groomed young man with a disarming smile and ability to capture attention of any woman. But he has a dark secret. Akatch lost his ability to have an erection after a relationship with an older woman he did not even love.He was in it for money, but the pressure to perform saw him start using the common aphrodisiac, Viagra.
The 31-year-old is a married father of one - an eight-month-old daughter. He has kept the viagra secret to all, including his wife. He cannot have sex without taking the little blue pill, and he has been doing that since 2004. But this was not always the case. When he began taking Viagra, he was not suffering from erectile dysfunction and it had not been prescribed to him by a doctor.
âI was introduced to the tablets by a woman I was having an affair with. She lived far from her husband who was at the Coast. âWe met in 2004 when she was shopping for clothes at my friendâs shop. She was very charming and seemed wealthy,â Mr Akatch says. âShe spent Sh15,000 at that moment and did not look bothered by the price tags on clothes. She did not even bargain,â he recalls.
She then requested him to help her carry the merchandise to her car which was parked behind the building. âShe asked for my phone number, saying she had used all the money she had on the shopping and needed to show appreciation by giving me âsomething smallâ later,â he says.
Akatch says he gave her the number but it never occurred to him that the woman would call. Later that day, she called and asked if he could meet her at a certain restaurant in town. âShe offered to pick me up or send a taxi. I suspected she was up to some mischief, but strangely enough, I could not just resist the temptation to meet her,â he adds.âShe was in a sky blue dress and looked far much younger than she had looked that morning. We chatted over coffee, then dinner and finally, beer,â Akatch continues.
âI remember her telling me that she was 38 years old, but in her company, I never felt the gap. I was barely 22 but ignored the voice inside telling me to run,â he says.
Given blue tablets
That was the beginning of their âcougar relationshipâ. Akatch says they spent almost all their time together. She took him on shopping sprees and had no qualms lavishing huge amounts of money on him since she had no children.
âWhenever friends asked where I was getting money to fund my lavish lifestyle, I told them that the woman had employed me to take care of her restaurants and boutiques,â he says.
âOne day in February 2004, she proposed that I become her valentine since she was lonely and had several issues with her husband. That day, she took me to a resort in Koru where we had a splendid evening together. I learnt that she had booked a room where we spent the night. I insisted on using protection and she had no problem with that,â he says.
âTo be honest, I did not love this woman but I had fun with her because she bought me everything I wanted and promised me many other things. She even gave me the go-ahead to have a girlfriend, as long as I was available when she needed me,â he says.
When it came to matters sex, she was demanding.
âSometimes my erection failed because the sex was very frequent. That is when she started giving me some blue tablets that sustained my erection for a longer time. She was also a porn addict and insisted on us doing it the way she saw it in the blue movies,â he adds. Later on, Akatch came to know that the blue tablets were Viagra.
âI was now using the tablets regularly and liked the fact that I satisfied her sexually. There was one problem though; sometimes my erection was very hard and painful, especially when my sugar mummy was not around and I needed to have sex. There were times when I would also sweat profusely and suffer from shortness of breath,â he reveals.
Damaging his manhood
Akatch was to use the aphrodisiac for the next four years. A time reached when he could not have an erection without swallowing the blue pill or two. His elder âgirlfriendâ then moved to the US in 2009 and Akatch decided to get married two years later.
She left him all her household stuff but that could not compensate for the other thing she had bequeathed him: inability to have and maintain an erection without artificial help. âI could no longer have sex without taking Viagra,â he says in a resigned tone.
Doctors told him he should never have taken the drug in the first place and clarified that he was not suffering from erectile dysfunction. They referred him to a urologist who advised him to stop taking the tablets in order to regain his stamina gradually.
âI never knew I was damaging my manhood. All along, I thought it was fun but the consequences are devastating. My sugar mummy used to purchase the pills in bulk, but now that she is gone, I canât afford them,â he laments.
Sometimes he goes out of his way to buy the drug at between Sh480 to Sh500 a tablet and takes it without the knowledge of his wife. âI keep taking them because I need an erection to satisfy my wife. For any man, nothing beats the embarrassment that comes with the failure to erect,â he says.
âMy wife has no idea what I am going through. Sometimes she asks me why I donât seem to enjoy sex like other men. It is almost a nightmare to know that you cannot sexually satisfy a woman. I hate the fact that I lost my ability to rise to the occasion because of a woman I did not love,â he says.
Dependency syndrome
As cougar relationships become more widespread, some of the young men involved are resorting to using sexual enhancement pills due to pressure from their partners.Many do not realise they can become dependent on the drugs. Prof Peter Mungai, a urologist at the Upper Hill Medical Centre, warns that taking drugs like Viagra when the body does not need them damages the reproductive system.
âMany young men, particularly university students, have been introduced to these drugs without really considering the consequences. To make matters worse, they begin taking them without guidance from medics. What these young people should know is that they are slowly destroying their sexual health,â Prof Mungai says.
âWhen you abuse sex-boosting drugs, the body gets so used to them to the point that you cannot have an erection without them. These drugs do not enlarge the penis as some think. They are for people who are ill and should not be sold without prescription,â he says.
Apart from effects on the reproductive system, the drugs, according to Prof Mungai, can lead to heart attacks, low blood pressure, and hearing impairment. The professor adds that doctors prescribe the drugs depending on the level of sexual dysfunction. Men who use these drugs without prescription are overdosing themselves because they did not have a problem in the first place.
âSome of the conditions that cause erectile dysfunction include multiple sclerosis, diabetes, heart disease, spinal injury, and depression,â he says. He adds that manufacturers usually promote the drugs without indicating their dangers. Men, on the other hand, have this misconception that the drug is harmless.
âAll men who feel that they have a problem with their reproductive system need to consult a urologist to have the problem diagnosed,â he explains. The most common side effect is becoming dependant on the drug. Researchers are still trying to find the relationship between sex enhancing drugs and priapism, a condition where a man gets a persistent, painful erection that can last for hours. Priapism can occur even without sexual stimulation and requires surgical intervention, which eventually leads to erectile dysfunction.
âAlways seek an expertâs opinion and do not allow yourself to be introduced to things whose consequences you are not sure of,â Prof Mungai cautions, adding that a growing number of young men suffering the consequences of taking sex enhancing tablets are seeking help at his clinic.
Institution threatened
Most of those who seek his help come in too late, when their reproductive systems have already been damaged to the point that they cannot erect naturally.
âSome have lost their erectile ability, others canât sustain an erection for more than a few minutes while others canât enjoy sex at all, let alone satisfy their partners. Depending on the level of damage, drugs or mild surgery can be used to correct the condition,â he says.
To regain sexual performance, doctors advise that men like Akatch to stop taking the pills. However, regaining the ability to erect naturally might take a long time, depending on how long the drug was used and the level of damage.
Akatch now has to answer a barrage of questions from his wife for which he has no answers. Roselyn Achar, a relationship counsellor, says such questions could affect their marriage over time.
âDeriving sexual satisfaction from the person one loves spices up marriage. Lack of it can threaten the union,â Mrs Achar says. In most cases, she adds, lack of libido in both men and women is psychological.
Partners should have peace of mind in order to enjoy sex. If one fails to perform sexually, they should strive to establish the underlying cause rather than rushing to self-medication.
Drug studies not yet over
For a man to have an erection, blood has to flow to the penis when the blood vessels open up. Erectile dysfunction occurs when enzymes block the vessels from opening. This might be caused by old age, some drugs, and alcohol consumption. Drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Cialis and vardenafil inhibit the enzymes that block blood vessels, thus allowing the vessels to open more easily and for longer.
That is why the drugs are prescribed for the treatment of erectile dysfunction, especially in men who are 45 years old and above. They can also reduce a manâs refractory time, meaning that after orgasm, he can quickly get another erection. Like many other drugs, Viagra is supposed to be taken under prescription from a doctor because of its side effects.
Doctors prescribe it only if the patient needs the drug. Viagra does not interact well with some drugs, especially those that are indicated for heart patients like nitroglycerin, hence the reason it is meant to be sold strictly under prescription. Some side effects that have been reported in men who use Viagra include headaches, indigestion, diarrhoea, dizziness and in a few cases, nausea.
Reduced sex drive
Studies done to test its effectiveness on women have yielded few results, probably because men and women are fundamentally different when it comes to desire and arousal.There have been a few studies on womenâs overall response to Viagra, according to an article in the âMail onlineâ. Initial research in post-menopausal women in 1999 was disappointing and although clitoral sensitivity was increased, overall sexual enjoyment was not improved.
A couple of other studies have been carried out in women with reduced sex drive associated with antidepressant use, and Viagra may be useful in reversing this effect.
Most women do not need long-term antidepressant treatment, however, and counselling may be just as useful for both problems. The most recent research looked at 50 women aged between 22 and 28 who experienced difficulties with arousal.
Although the women did not report specific improvements in arousal level or orgasm frequency, overall they found that when taking Viagra, sex occurred more frequently and was more enjoyable. In terms of safety, it seems to be just as safe for women as men. Particular care must, however, be taken in those with heart problems, especially if taking drugs with nitrate components.
Overall, there has not been enough research to determine if Viagra is of help to women. All the recent studies have concluded, that more investigation is necessary.
Some men who take Viagra have shown dependency signs. They also exhibit extreme fatigue and have to take the drug to get an erection despite receiving stimulation from their partners. Most men who have become dependant or addicted to Viagra do not disclose to their partners that they are on the pill. This leads to a misunderstanding when the partner finally discovers.
Urologists express concern at the increasing number of men in their twenties using the drug. âThe men believe that Viagra is a lifestyle drug, yet it is supposed to be taken only after prescription,â Prof Peter Mungai of Upper Hill Medical Centre says.
Viagra is a licensed drug and conditions under which it is meant to be given are clearly spelt out. With such conditions, the manufacturer cannot be held responsible for any effects of the drug when it is supplied by a person without a licence.