Demonization of Single Mothers

Sex & Relationships
41

I’m not a single mother and I am not close to anyone who is so I can’t speak from observation or experience.

However I have dated dads, single and not so single and those pretending to be single. Like you can’t figure out a married man from miles away.

People who have children have this aura that people who don’t don’t have. They are responsible and lose the child like lightness that people who don’t have kids have.

I have a friend who is my parents age and when we talk, we are like children. We don’t have baggage. We are not burdened. We are not careful about how we spend our money. We are free spirits. Everything is possible and life isn’t a chore it’s an adventure. We are free spirits
and we are lighthearted.

People with kids, carry their kids with them. Everywhere and it shows. When you don’t know what that is like, it’s tiring. You want someone who hasn’t been through the mill of parenthood and you can be new at it together. There is something to being each other’s firsts.

I think single parents deserve love just not from people who have never been parents like they have. It’s mismatched energies.

I’d rather date a younger man with no kids than my age or older with kids. It’s too much baggage for me. Too much.

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42

Factors in play that nullify that:

  • Msichana akianza kuzaa carelessly she tries to make most kids to have the same father. So ukioa single mother na umpee 2 kids hiyo ni 2-1. Firstborns and middle kids ndio wanakuanga mostly out of wedlock and petty mistakes. Mwanamke akipitisha 2 baby daddies, chances za recycling mmoja ziko high. Even a better distribution is when each kid has a different baby daddy.

  • Median number of kids per man cannot allow a Pareto distribution. Tuseme the median of kids per household is 3.5 roughly, na wanaume wale wanakuliwa bibi ni 1.5. This paints a widespread pattern of behavior.

  • Men are rational selfish beings, if the ratio was 1:4 tungekua tuna uana kama eels so as to get pussy.

  • Human beings take many years to produce a very small number of offsprings. A man/woman of 50 years with 5 kids ni kiasi sana.

43

Hii usingo matha ni shida ya kujitakia. In societies where the consequences are dire, hii mambo haiko, or there is a good legitimate reason like widows.

Most of the singi mathas around huwa makunguru. Starting from those who dharau their husbands, to those who had mipango za kando and married just for legitimacy.

Those women look good and hardworking and God fearing just because of the problems in their lives. The moment unawatolea hizo shida ukunguru inaamka. So ole wenu nyinyi mnasema mtawasaidia, mtachapwa character development mkubali.

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44

Single mothers are full of shit

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45

Major reasons why women are single
1.Death of spouse -5%
2.Incompatibility-5%
3.Westernization/kichwa ngumu caused by abandoned female roles-60%.
4.Hit and run from men/kuingia karura-10%
5.Female selfish behavior -10%
6.High libido -5%
7.Psychological problems as low self esteem,etc-5%

With above statistics, you can weigh your chances.

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46

The consensus here is that apart from genuine widows, all single moms ni mbwa Koko T9 ya msituni toxic to the core. If they couldn’t respect the first man enough to be humble wives what makes you think atakuenzi na akupende to the point unaleta Kwa Boma

Like somebody said hapo hii ni clear evidence ya kua a bongo lala. I have a bro both women he has sired with are single moms bana na it shows . Dude was just weak minded from the jump even I could see tukiwa wadogo . Aliokotwa na first “wife” took her from P1 teacher to unifasete akafulizwa a daughter kisha akaachwa . Ninja never learns Sahi amefuga ingine.

Ukitaka kujua a beta male, they produce many daughters Sana Sana first borns na they always targets ya single mathas

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47

you know a lot about cut-throat politics and machiavellianism.

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48

@TrumanCapote
@Lionheart

From personal experience …
( …and it began as my usual “CSR” Mke Wa Mtu initiatives …)

She is a Medical Technician , of an excellent , fairly well established Agro-business Family.
She lives rent-free , domestic help-free , basic foodstuffs-free inside the Family Estate in one of the very upmarket leafy City Suburbs.
Her well publicized , almost Royal Wedding to a Juvenile of another equally well established Family was attended by the cream of Society.

As usual , with most of these unions , things fell apart as the immature “Subaru Mothers Boy” was unable to settle into his married state and being a father to beautiful twin girls.
A real irresponsible and deadbeat father figure …

He continues to live his former life of the wealthy playboy with his now recently widowed wealthy Mother on her Estate ( last born privilege).
In short , a very privileged , wealthy but deadbeat Juvenile.

Back to the Lady …
She has smarts and continued in her Career and Motherhood with zeal and the full support of her two doting wealthy Parents plus her wealthy Mother-in- Law who ensure the twins lack for nothing.
We regularly met at the Hospital Cafeteria and I finally got invited to one of the twins birthday events where I also met the parents.

Lately , I try to minimize my contacts with the young ladies as we both realize it would be unfair to raise their young expectations of a Father figure in their lives ( and her very observant Parents ) …
But we continue our friendship with occasional visits and group outings…

So , …
I believe it very much depends on HOW the children are socialized and transact with you.
Minors are like a blank canvas that absorbs whatever paint that is put on it.
And the demonization regularly displayed in here by some of the membership is not warranted.

Apart from occasional hints and jabs all over , from all those sources …
I feel no husband , daddy or son-in-law pressure to change the status quo …

Nor will I succumb to any without giving it very serious , mature consideration …:blush:

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49

I rarely agree with you …
But on social climbers and women of very loose morals , I concur …
I note your fairness in targeting both sexes …:blush:

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50

I disagree that most single mothers are women of loose morals …
Interrogate the fact that the irresponsible juvenile who made them pregnant us the real source of the problem… :blush:

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51

I also know of a girl who converted to Islam for her man na bado akawachwa. She reconverted back to Christianity. Ningekuwa Jesus ningefukuza yeye kama mbwa.

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52

Hehe. Hii discussion ya singo mathas imekuwa ktalk milele. At least we are calling them demons sasa, back then tulikuwa tumesema they are subhuman chini ya Neanderthals :slightly_smiling_face:

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53

Well, you got lucky that she’s free of the decadent juvenile. Utatuletea hekaya.

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54

I would like to hear your views on Juvenile Deadbeat Father’s who cause all this misery…

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55

Nothing newsworthy really …
The moral of the story , and my point of personal view is that Mature , Responsible , Focused , Loving Single Mothers are the NORM and not the exception …:blush:

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56

I would marry one but NEVER have a child with her. Naweza torokea Embobut forest anytime.

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57

It can be highly entertaining to string along one, watch how hard she struggles to be the one (if and only if she is a decent human being). Meanwhile you have the real plan, the break out plan with your real mate whom you will start the match at 0-0 …

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58

Daktari it should be pretty clear to you that society has pschological weapons such as ostracization to keep people in line to achieve its collective goal of the propagation of the species. The species is supposed to be propagated in two parent homes for survival of the very delicate human offspring.

As such you dont expect the society to celebrate women who decline offers of marriage or decide to stay childfree in Europe 1/5 women is childfree by age of menopause. The population is on negative growth and being taken over by moslems who expect an average of 7-9 kids per a woman.

Single mothers are seen to be rebellious and non submissive for leaving their husbands or even being left without following the proper procedure which is marriage then babies.

I often find myself in situations where I will be asked about kids even when the person knows that I am single and I ask curtly where Im supposed to get kids from if Im not married.

There are over 1 million single mums in Kenya under the legal age of 18. So this is going to get more and more common since divorce formerly unheard of becomes a normal phenomenon. Kuvumiliana is no longer a thing. Especially for the well to do. Marriage for poor people is a means of survival. They have children in large numbers too.

Im not keen on people having kids outside formal structures because it has a better safety net in perilious times like the ones we are in . However staying in toxic marriages is no longer viable or tolerable to many people.

59

On that we agree ..
No one is keen on a life as a single Parent ..

But you would agree ..
Irresponsible , deadbeat Juvenile father’s are a big part of the problem and addressing that is part of the cure ..:blush:

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60

Your deadbeat 15k a month guy is some woman’s gem and said woman has no baggage. Meanwhile a singomatha wants a 300k a week self-made apex male… tafakari hayo.
I insist that people stick to their lanes and live according to their expectations, not soap opera pipe dreams. With that everone is provided for and we have no deadbeats. As for the issues of violence and disloyalty you get what you pick(what is dating about?)

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