Chief chemist 2

(Previously: )

Sometimes last year I brewed busaa in the backyard of madam police officer (also known as well as mama watoto) link hapo juu. I just had this crazy idea that I need to make my own since it was becoming risky for me to manufacture one from the great , hilly and fertile village of Mwitoti huko Mumias and have it transported to Nairobi.

So on that fateful day I ordered all organic and natural ingredients for the project right from the heart of the village.As a brewer all I had to do is to make sure the pH is right , the temperature is OK for fermentation, all ingredients are mixed right and MOST importantly mama watoto doesn’t find it whatsoever since she is a staunch Christian and a leader in church by deeds and example.

Many of you will accuse me that I’m being boyish instead acting as a man of my age but I tell you “younglings” and that " Marriage life isn’t easy as man. Sometimes you have to do weird and outrageous boyish things just to stop yourself from being senile and keep your head afloat. An animal like @uwesmake (a self confessed pedophile) hunts down super momos, whereas @Motokubwa ( a he-goat ) though married, will be cheating on his wife with cows as his girlfriends here and there), if not they will both go senile".

So after I made everything right , I went to hide it kwa pantry under some old gunia ya mahindi that my mum used to ship food to us from village. Exactly 21 days later I called my friend JP who is an MD in one of saccos to come and share my spoil. I had to make sure that mama watoto had gone to mwitoti with her kids to visit my parents . Hapo ndio siku changamoto ilituchanganyikia. Tulihara immediately 5 minutes after consuming our last drop. We were doing 4X4 relay kwa choo using door handle as the button.

JP called his wife who took us to aga khan. Some nurses and doctors there are faithful members of that sacco that JP is MD , so he is well known and loved dearly after fattening his members with a healthy dividends in the fiscal year 2017.

So when went there we were immediately diagnosed of food poisoning. JP’s wife had a mouth of a magpie and told everyone that I was the one who tried to murder him by luring him into consuming poisoned busaa ( God forgive her). This made them angry to a point one of the nurses barked " unataka kumuua ndio ulipie watoto Wangu school fees?".

Since I was on trial all I had to do was to be silent and wait for the jury(doctors) to come up with a verdict , and executioners(nurses) to execute me with a lethal injection for trying to kill their beloved sacco boss. Luckily those drips had no Pancuronium bromide(chemical used to execute murderers in American jails?)

Sadly we were discharged after 8 hours of being placed on drip ( I enjoyed looking at the tight asses of those executioners. They looked super juicy I say ). I wish I could have hang in there longer because it was safer at the hospital than my house because story ilifikia mama watoto in mwitoti (thanks to JP’s wife) She rushed to kisumu took a plane to Nairobi to attend her ailing husband. I’m 100% sure she was waiting for me at the house.

What I went through with mama watoto after that saga is another hekaya loading and that’s the reason why I went silent for almost 7 months ( cc @Some Say and @Eng’iti ) @Ken_Sarro @pamba , @shocks
Lesson : Don’t ever brew local “bomb” if you have no expertise. Wachia wenyewe.

Hii mtungi hapa chini almost took our lives.


:D:D:D:D:D:D… hekaya swafi.

Hahaha how can you be soo old and still remain soo stupid.Makosa!



Nice read

Hehe kali


how i wish uli?!!! Lakini ni sawa tu ulisurvive,

eheh,kuna mtu alikuwa amekuwarn kwa hiyo thread ingine ukajifanya ati ulipata chemistry A,ona sasa.

Welcome back @Abba the ‘murderer’
Wacha nicheke kwanza

Sande mwenzangu

This is funny:D:D

@Abba In your post mortem, where do you think you went wrong with the brew? Yaweza kuwa mama watoto aligundua akaongezea ingridients extra ili iwe funzo :smiley:


Only Africans think doing shit is being ‘juvenile’. No wonder we never invented anything but ugali.

Kudos for trying…

huyo ameokoka . but you made me think otherwise :smiley:

sande guka. good to have people i can relate to. ati ugali :D:D:D

kuna difference ya learnt chemistry and applied chemistry . learned i got an A but applied one i think niko chini :D:D:D

i have survived so many death scares mpaka i lost count . ask @captain obvious . atakuletea hekaya that i listed instances that i almost died . so hii ni moshi tu. otherwise wakanyama uko aje

Niko poa,shiny eye amekalia wewe Kama sofa set, alikushow usionekane Huku Sisi ndio tunakufunza Tabia mbaya eh???